Strong Hate, Somehow Love?
by rainbowdash4610
Summary: Four has always been a douche and Tris is definitely not his #1 fan. Having hated each other their whole lives was as simple as can be...but after a specific night together their whole relationship is compromised. The entire aspect of their hate becomes more complex, and maybe, just maybe, it's for the better.
1. Chapter 1

Preface:  
Me and Four are actually sleeping together..half naked. I'm not so sure I understand life anymore. The reasoning for being this way with the biggest fucktard there is..? That is a long story-  
Chapter 1:  
"BEATRICE! Wake. up." Ahhh, nothing better than waking up to the melodic voice of my brother's ear-damaging shouting *note the sarcasm*. My brother and I are 9 months and a half apart, but technically because he isn't a year older than me, we're in the same grade. Caleb is a smart-ass/teacher's rat. Speaking of teachers, today is my first year of Divergent High. I'm a freshman. My friends are excited whereas I just stand emotionless. I have to admit, there are many mixed feelings in me about this "starting high school" thing. I get to spend the [controversial] most important years of my academic career with my friends, but I will still have to deal with Four and his jerktourage. The jerktourage, with the manwhore and devil himself -Four- as leader, are just two years older than me and my squad. They consist of the sluts *cough* cheerleaders *cough* who hit on Four 24/7..  
The name Four? No, his parents aren't stupid enough to actually name their child a number, just stupid enough to have him {though I'm sure they find him a nuisance just like the rest of us}. It's a nickname based off his jersey number. He's a football player (aka jock and popular). I've been so busy with my thoughts I didn't realize I had already gotten ready and changed into a simple black sweater with black jeans. As I'm making my way downstairs, my parents shower me with affectionate greetings reserved especially for us. Don't be fooled, though, most of the time they could not give a fuck about me. While I'm wrapped up in "Are you excited?" and "It's your first day of high school!" Caleb seems to disappear. I go outside and check for him, but no car there. Most people would get their license at 16 and their own car at 18, but Caleb being the smart-ass and all around good boy he is, doesn't have to live with those commons. I'm still 14, though, and I really don't mind walking, especially when my brother wakes me up at least 1 hour before school starts. With that said, I start on my 15 minute expedition to school. As I'm sprawled out on a couch known as my thoughts, a cherry red Ferrari pulls up right beside me. I probably should've mentioned earlier that it was a gloomy day and puddles were littering the streets, so when the jerktourage's leader's car pulls up, I'm assuming you aren't stupid enough to believe that is out of their character. Yep. _Just what I need._ Be drenched in filthy street water on my first day of high school. _Yay._ Even with their windows down you can sense the snickering going on between the devil and whatever slut he brought home this time. I swear it seems as if most children would ask for a pony to be brung home, Four would ask for a slut to be brought home. As they drive away I realize that I'm just five minutes away from the school now, and it's barely 7:30. I decide being clumsy old me that I should probably go early and get accustomed to campus.

I get to the front desk after many attempts of finding it. I open the door to be greeted with an interesting teacher, and it's not just me being observant that results in my conclusion. I make out a tattoo of a hawk on the back of her neck and a tattoo of a river on her arm. "Um..can I please have my schedule?" I've never been good with interacting. Or socially, but I'm still not considered anti-social. "Name, please?" I tell her my name and receive my schedule. I have a few advanced classes, unlike my brother who has _only_ advanced classes. I'm just about to walk out when my mouth can't help but blurt out "What's with the tattoos?" She eyes me suspiciously for a moment and then tells me about the symbolism of the hawk and how she was once afraid of the dark. She also tells me that the river was for her brother, after supposedly committing suicide in this thing called the chasm. We have a wonderful conversation going on until of course I realize I have only 15 minutes left. I politely excuse myself and go to start stumbling upon my classes. I'm in the hall looking for my locker when all of a sudden I see Four and Shauna making out on it. My friends start telling them about how there is this thing called a janitor's closet and how nobody is interested in seeing them both naked. To which number boy starts to reply with "just because you don't want to, doesn't mean you have to take that privilege away from others". I decide to step in and tell them to get off my locker. After all, janitors' closets aren't myths. That seems to draw everyone's attention away from each other and focus on me. Of course, my friends all have huge grins on their faces immediately, especially Uri, who is definitely smiling like a ninny. Four on the other hand, is a complex puzzle. He seems as if he has conflicted emotions, or is constipated. Before I even realize it, we're having a stare-down. We continue on like this until he finally gets off my locker with two words out of his mouth: "Careful Tris". With that heard I march off to my locker triumphantly. My friends and I catch up and Chris tries to steal my schedule to compare it to hers..the keyword is _tries._  
Chris is my best friend. She's constantly trying to catch me off guard. Too bad that isn't working out for her.  
"Trissy poo..! Guess what?" Before I have time to reply to Christina, she continues. "There's a party tonight! You have to come! _Please?!_" she begs. "Chrissy poo..! You know I don't like these kind of things," I urge. But, of course, she just walks away. Knowing Christina, I'm definitely going to this party..and because the gang won't support me for some reason and will remain on her side, that's just another factor to add to the problem. I catch up with the rest of my friends and then head to Advanced Math. Unfortunately, I don't have this class with any of my friends. In fact, I don't have many classes with my friends, just a few. I head to the class getting lost a few times, and right when I'm at the door the bell rings. I enter the classroom to be met with girls huddling around a desk. As I get closer, I realize the desk belongs to Four. I take a seat in the back when the doof turns around, facing me. He winks and then turns back in his seat. With that action done, I notice some of the sluts get jealous, especially Molly and Lauren. Shauna is just sitting next to him with her hand on his thigh, rubbing soothing circles. She's resting her head on his shoulder and he has his head on top of hers. The girls are busy trying to grab his attention, but he's busy playing with his fingers. Then Zeke walks in and sits beside Four. The teacher enters and actually looks astonished for some reason:  
"Four, are you actually here early?" Four doesn't respond just smirks. The teacher then decides to get on with class.  
+++

It's lunch. Yup. All I have to say. Once I'm done with the lunch line, I head over to my table with Uri, Mar, Lynn, Chris, Will, and Al. On my way there a little incident occurs. I bump into Four and my tray goes swirling through the air on Peter's table-which was right next to us-and Four's tray skids across the floor and I end up on top of him. It was literally that scene from "Another Cinderella Story". Ironic, huh? Luckily, I haven't lost much of my dignity so my composure is reconciled as soon as it crumples. The second I hit the floor I immediately get up, offer Four a hand, and mutter an apology-even if he doesn't deserve it, I am an honorable girl. He takes my hand and pulls me back onto him, and when I start to blush his smirk gets even bigger. Again, I immediately get up. He gets up himself this time.  
"Awwwww Stiff, if you wanted it you could've just asked. I would've made an exception for someone as desperate and pathetic as you," Four says.  
"Awwwww Four, if you were gonna be a dick, you could've just said so. I'm pretty sure your parents wouldn't have minded the abortion," I shoot back.  
The whole cafeteria's gaze is locked on us now, but I can't seem to stop.  
"That's a two-way street, anorexic."  
And to be honest, I never doubted that Four was always this shallow and soulless. And this right here, proves my point.  
"Just go fuck off Four, will you?" I'm not in a mood to waste my lunch doing a scene for the cafeteria.  
"What? Mad at me for admitting the truth? You couldn't have actually believed that someone would ever love someone as cruel as you? Or as flat?" Man, he is definitely the stereotypical jock.  
"So I guess because nobody could love somebody so cruel, you're not loved either?" Payback's a bitch, isn't it?  
"You're right," is all he says.  
With that he walks back to his table as if nothing ever happened and I do the same, except I'm left trying to comprehend his thoughts and what that meant. I get to the table and everybody is just staring at me.  
"What?" I ask.  
"It just..it stills amazes us how you and Four are. Even I'd fall for him if I were a girl, and as a dude I can't deny that he's pretty sexy. You're the only person who actually hates him. Everybody else is just hoping to make him 'Eight'," Uri responds.  
"Well, he needs to learn the whole world doesn't revolve around him. There are things happening that don't have anything to do with him," I say a little too harshly, with a glare in Four's direction. Uri just shrugs and sinks back in his seat.  
+++

I'm heading to extracurricular activities now, including language, Music, and other arts. I have French in the noon and right before my free period that I have at the end of the day, I have the arts subject thing. It basically includes plays, art, and music. Today is a music week, or so I've heard. Thankfully, though, all of my friends have this class. We enter the classroom to be met with rows and rows of instruments and surprisingly, the same teacher I saw at the front desk-Tori. She smiles at me. We all take a seat and right before the bell rings to signal that everybody should already be in their class, the jerktourage enters. They all take a seat in the back with Shauna on Zeke's lap instead of Four's. Molly is actually sitting on his lap, and Peter seems to not care.  
"Okay class, today we are going to be singing! Who wants to go first?" asks Tori.  
Nobody raises their hand so Tori decides she'll choose. Her eyes roam to every student until finally they land on...Four. "Four, you're up," says Tori. Four makes his way onto the stage and before he starts singing he grabs a guitar. It seems as if somehow this makes the girls in the room drool even more over him. He then starts singing:

_Silent love is calling faith_  
_To shatter me through your hallways_  
_Into echoes you can feel_  
_And rehearse the way you heal_

_Make them dance_  
_Just like you_  
_Cause you make me move_  
_Yeah you always make me go_

_I'll run away with your foot steps_  
_I'll build a city that dreams for two_  
_And if you lose yourself_  
_I will find you_

_High on words_  
_We almost used_  
_We're fireworks with a wet fuse_  
_Flying planes with paper wheels_  
_To the same Achilles heels_

_Make them dance_  
_Just like you_  
_Cause you make me move_  
_Yeah you always make me go_

_I'll run away with your foot steps_  
_I'll build a city that dreams for two_  
_And if you lose yourself_  
_I will find you_

_(yeah you always make me go)_

_Open up your skies_  
_Turn up your night_  
_To the speed of life_  
_Turn up your night_  
_Put your love in lights_  
_Turn up your night_  
_I will find you_

_Make them dance_  
_Just like you_  
_Cause you make me move_  
_Yeah you always make me go_

_(yeah you always make me go)_

_I'll run away with your foot steps_  
_I'll build a city that dreams for two_  
_And if you lose yourself_  
_I will find you_

_(yeah you always make me go go go go go)_  
_Turn up your night_  
_(go go go go)_  
_Turn up your night_  
_(go go go go turn it up turn it up)_  
_Turn up your night_  
_I will find you_

_Make them dance_  
_Just like you_  
_Cause you make me move_  
_Yeah you always make me go_

I have to admit, he was pretty good. It still doesn't mean I like him any more than I already do, and I don't like him at all. Once he's finished he smirks and takes his seat. After that, Tori decides to call on the rest of the jerktourage. I tune out most of their songs because Molly sang a song only a slut would sing, Shauna though I have to admit was meaningful, and Zeke was rapping about ... what I really don't know. I told you I tuned them out. All except Shauna and Four because again, meaningful. Or at least realistic in a way. By then, class was finished so I decided to head home. What else could I have done in my free period which is right before dismissal?  
"Don't forget, I'm coming over to do your makeover later," says Chris.  
I should've known better than to think she'd forget. I nod. I head to the parking lot and walk the way to my house. It is a beautiful path. I get home and take a shower, dreading what the next hours with Chris will bring.

I hear a knock and my door to find Chris with all of her "supplies", also known as death traps. Mar and Lynn are right behind her, and you can tell Lynn is just as excited as I am and the same goes for Mar with Chris. They get in and immediately head to my closet. They pick out a black dress and heels but I instinctually say no. We all finally come to a compromise of tank top with lace on top and shorts. They agree to letting me wear my black leather jacket. Sadly, Lynn was not so lucky and was forced into a skirt and top, somehow. We exit my place and start towards the party.  
+++

We enter the party and I still don't know who the host is. All I've really came up with is they're filthy rich. As I'm wandering around, I stumble upon Zeke himself.  
"Hey Tris, what are you doing here?" he looks confused as to why I bothered to show up. I can't blame him.  
"I was held against my will with sheer force. Do you know who's hosting the party?" I ask.  
He just shakes his head. "Wouldn't you like to know? I'll give you three hints:  
•my brotha  
•school's largest playboy  
•you have a hatred for so unconditionally  
Ring a bell?" He seems amused.  
I groan. "Whyyyyyyyy?" I ask. He just shrugs. He then runs off to somewhere..or the stage.  
"Everybody who isn't Tris and her gang or Four's gang, get out!" He practically yells. I don't know why he did that, and I mean the including me part. No lie, my eyes got as wide as saucers when he said that. Everybody gathers in a circle so I join them to do so. Four and Zeke just keep staring at me amused.  
"Why do I have to be here?" I whine.  
"You don't," says Four.  
"Thank you," I respond back while getting up to leave. Just as my hand is on the doorknob ready to twist, Four mutters "pansycake".  
"What did you say?" I ask.  
"The truth. How about you and me have a little contest?" he challenges.  
"You're on," I reply.  
We start off with a one-on-one Candor or Dauntless. The audience come up with the givings.  
"Tris, Candor or Dauntless?" asks Uri.  
"Candor," I respond.  
"Who was your first crush?"  
It actually makes me think because I don't really remember having a crush.  
"I don't remember having any crushes."  
Literally, everyone's jaw drops.  
"Four, my man?" Zeke asks.  
"Dauntless," he replies.  
"I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Lauren."  
Damn, he's found three girls in one day?!  
They come back with disheveled hair and lipstick messed up for both since Lauren's obviously got on him. He sits down and waits for my request.  
"Dauntless," I say before they can ask.  
"I dare you to make out with Four for 20 minutes." Great, now he's got four girls, and it's literally right after the other one.  
I look to Four and see him wink and then smirk. Being the stubborn person I am, I go with it. Right before I'm about to go over to him I get a text from Ian-my abuser. "Where are you?" he asks pretending to care. He's my godfather. My parents don't question him. He seems nice on the outside, but is cold on the inside. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine." I reply. This'll outta do the trick hopefully. Every month he picks a certain day to beat me. Today, it might cost me but I'm not in the mood to be fazed. I walk over to Four and start straddling him. We start kissing lips on lips until he decides to kiss my jaw instead. I push his back onto the floor and start grinding my hips to his. He growls against my ear. He continues to leave hickeys with me laying directly on top of him. We hear many wolf-whistles but unfortunately no beep of the timer. My hands later find their way under his shirt and I take them out just to push his leather jacket off. I start unbuttoning his shirt but when I've gotten three holes undone, not even half, he pulls my jacket's sleeves which results in the warmth and comfort of my jacket to leave my body. His lips are back on mine and I continue again with the buttons on his shirt. Just then the door slams open and me and Four spring apart. Everyone else scurries out of the house like cockroaches and then the door is locked. I'm astonished to see Marcus Eaton, the mayor, and Ian. I immediately know what comes next and take off my shirt. They both start to unbuckle their belts coming towards me and Four. It's obvious now..Four is Marcus's son, Tobias. He, too, has his shirt off but is staring at me. In a flash, he's carrying me and locking me in the bathroom downstairs. I keep pounding on the door but it doesn't budge. I can now hear him getting the extra whips for me and I can't bear it. Someone else is taking the pain for me. It doesn't settle too well with me. In what feels like forever they leave the house. I wonder how I am going to get out with Four probably lying unconscious at the door step of the bathroom. I then remember my bobby pin and start picking the lock. It works. I see Four almost losing consciousness so I start talking to him to keep him awake.  
"Baby, what's wrong?" All of a sudden it's like we're in some intimate relationship.  
"My back hurts." is all he says.  
I lay him down on the couch, his back facing upward and start treating his wounds. I dab a little as to not hurt him and he stops flinching after a few tries. He actually starts to soothe under my touch. After that I gauze up his torso, seeing that's where most bruises have occurred. I'm about to walk away when he speaks.  
"Can you please stay?" he asks.  
"Of course" I reply. I pick up my jacket and put it on while he is laying on his side facing me. I go over to him and lay down beside him on the couch. He, again, pushes my jacket off, but this time revealing a black lace bra. I cuddle into him. He kisses my hair, then my forehead, then nose. We start making out except now we're pressed skin against skin. I haven't revealed more to him, it's just now we have less clothing to work with. He _is_ shirtless, and I'm only in a bra and shorts. Thankfully he doesn't really start dwelling on the little curves I have and how unattractive I am as a whole. He kisses my lips and nibbles a little on my lower one. He then starts to part his lips and his tongue glides along my lip, asking for entrance. I don't really respond, I mean I barely know how to kiss...I can't be expected to make out perfectly. All that...it was just a whiff, and I'm pretty sure I sucked at it. Before I know it, he's on top of me and is leaving a trail of hickeys from the back of my ear to my collarbone. He's currently lightly sucking on it right now. His hands are in the back pockets of my shorts and mine lay flat on his chest. He pinches my butt cheek through the shorts. I decide to press my chest harder to his. I earn a deep growl and kiss him harder. I then part from him and he lays back down. I cuddle up to him and fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up in the morning to be met with dark blue eyes staring at me. He kisses my forehead.

"Good morning, beautiful," he says in a husky voice.

"Hi," I reply.

I get up and he follows. He then takes lead and walks into the kitchen.

"What happened last night..that was nothing. I still feel immediate hate and bile at the thought of you," he starts clearing things up.

"I'm glad. The feeling is mutual. And we're both on the same page," and I honestly don't care. I really didn't feel anything. It's one of those caught up in the moment things. He makes us breakfast and we eat in silence until he decides to break it.

"So, are we ditching or what?" he asks.

"Why would we ditch?" I'm not sure why exactly we'd miss school..especially on the second day.

"Aww. Little Goody Two-Shoes, I see. I'm honestly not that surprised. What do you suggest we do?" _Bitch, bitch, bitch_.

"Why don't I go to school?"

"Do you see yourself? You can't go in those clothes, it'll be obvious you slept over and I'd rather not have my reputation ruined."

"Your acting as if mine wouldn't also get ruined. And why do you keep mentioning 'we'? All I'm aware of, is that I'm going to walk over to my house, get ready, and then go to school..._alone_."

He just scoffs. After we finish our breakfast, he goes upstairs to his room. I follow him because I have nothing better to do.

"Watcha doing?" I ask.

He just chucks me a sweatshirt and puts on a shirt himself.

"Don't you think people will notice me wearing your sweatshirt?"

"Don't you think they'll notice you still wearing clothes from last night?"

"I'm not in a mood to carry you around all day."

"Would you for once stop being so goddamn annoying?" He shouts.

"What did you mean by 'ruin your reputation'?" I'm pretty sure the idea I have conjured up in my head is correct.

"Well, maybe you haven't realized but you're fucking annoying, you're a piece of shit, and you're so flat and small you could pass for my twelve-year-old little sister," he yells. _Ding, ding, ding!_ We have a winner!

I stay quiet because I'm not really in a mood to respond.

"No way. Did I actually render you speechless?" He seems amused. Two can play at that game. I drop the sweatshirt and start down the stairs. I hear footsteps behind me but I don't care. Next thing you know, two arms wrap around my waist and pull me back. They turn me around so we're face to face.

"I'm not going to wear your sweatshirt."

"Well, maybe instead of staying the night here, you could've done it at your house."

"That's funny. After all, it's not like somebody was pleading with me to stay, right?"

"That was your choice."

"You're so ungrateful. I literally bandage you up and treat you nice, listening to your commands and ignoring my dignity, and all you have to say is 'that was your choice'?! Well, now, I'm starting to regret my choice. And maybe you do deserve an occasional beating to set you straight. You're the biggest jerk I have ever encountered. And I doubt I'll ever be able to repay or forgive you for locking me in the bathroom," I scoff.

"Excuse me?! No need to repay, I wouldn't let anyone, not even you get beaten if it was in my power to stop it. And forgive me?! Why the hell would I need your forgiveness?"

"Because you got extra beatings for me and that doesn't settle well with me," I shoot. "Wait, how do you have so many parties when Marcus is always barging home? How do you not get caught?" I am really intrigued.

He seems amused at my interest. "He doesn't barge in..I don't know why this time he did. Usually, he alerts me beforehand." He responds.

"I just don't get how Ian knew where to find me..all I did was send a text," I think out loud.

"And you didn't say anything? There's such thing as 'location services'. Did you give him the address?" He's fuming now.

"Why would I have told you? I would've probably just left-"

"But you didn't," he interrupts.

"and I didn't have location services on and I didn't give the address," I continue.

He just says nothing and puts my tank top on me and then his sweatshirt. He hands me my jacket and says I can leave it in his car. We both head towards the door but with different motives. He's planning on having us both in his car, I want to get home. So instead of climbing in like him, I just start walking.

"Your house is most likely pretty far from here, yes or no?" He asks.

I just keep walking. He's already in the driver's seat and has the window to the passenger seat down so he can talk to me. He's currently driving an Audi R8, one of the most expensive cars.

"Tris, I'm not afraid to get out and chase you into the car," he playfully threatens.

I just keep walking with my head held high. He gets out and starts chasing me up and down the driveway. I start giggling and he has a smile plastered on his face. He continues to playfully chase me until of course, he catches me and doesn't let me go.

"Four, let me go!" I start squirming in his grip.

He kisses the top of my head and whispers beautiful against it. For some reason, we're both acting like a couple. I don't know why. He then picks me up bridal style and carries me to the car. He hesitates, as if he had another idea, but eventually decides to put me in the passenger seat. We drive the way to school in silence, hoping to forget what happened ever since last night.  
+++

We are at the school. Me and Four decided it would be best if he parks the car at least a block away. I'll get out first, and then he'll follow suit after 10 minutes after pulling into the parking lot. I get out and am just grateful that I keep most of my stuff in my locker. I walk the block to school. When I enter and get to my locker, my friends come up to me.

"Hey, sorry about last night. We didn't mean to ditch you. It's just, the party was crashed so out of instinct we just fled, you know? But we didn't realize until a little after that you weren't with us..so, where did you go? I mean, staying at Four's is the last place you'd be so where?" Christina asks.

"You didn't see? The guy was Ian. My godfather. I left with him," I lie.

"Oh. Okay. As long as you were safe. So, no hard feelings?" She asks with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Definitely not. Don't worry about it," I reply back coolly. I really want to scream at them all for leaving me with Four and for making us go through that, but it'll all go back to normal soon. And, we didn't just develop feelings for each other after one night. He explained very clearly through his actions and speakings that he is the exact guy I hate and despise. The bell rings so we all part ways to head to class. I get to math and sit down in the same seat I sat in yesterday. Molly is on Four's lap. She is currently kissing down his neck and the sight fills me with so much dread I feel like puking. It's not Four, though. It's just, I've never had a taste for such intimate affection. The teacher finally walks in and starts on boring topics that I already know. As a result, I tune out.  
+++

It is now lunch time, Uri's favorite "subject" and definitely his best..if you don't count being an idiot. I sit down at the table with the rest of my friends after grabbing my tray of food.

"Seriously guys, Dauntless chocolate cake should win the World Record for being the tastiest thing ever created or known to mankind," he manages to choke out with his mouth full of cake.

"Amen"

"Hallelujah"

"Preach"

Much of this goes around the table until we all burst into laughs. Don't think we're super religious, we just fool around with these words, not disrespectfully though. It's just the joking thing, that's all. No harm intended.

"What do you guys wanna do?" Al suddenly asks out of the blue.

I don't feel the need to do something every second, sometimes a little space is good. However, my friends disagree.

"I was thinking I'd take Tris to go shopping," Christina suggests. Of course, it's not like you didn't make me wear repulsive outfits already. Marlene immediately agrees and says it'll be fun whereas Lynn just groans. I fist-bump her for the thing we have best in common. We both don't say anything, though. We also know there is no getting out of it with Mar and Chris. The bell rings signaling the end of lunch much to Uri's dismay. Out our trays go, and to music we head.  
+++

The second we enter Tori informs Chris that she will be singing today.

"Eep. I'm gonna get to sing," Chris squeals in my ear.

"What song are you gonna sing?" I decide to play along since it seems like it'll make her happy. And it does.

"I don't know, but I'll think of something," she tells me.

We get seated and wait for class to begin. Once it finally does, Tori goes ahead and calls Chris up to the stage. Chris seems pretty confident, I'll give her that.

_[Verse 1]_

_I've never seen a diamond in the flesh_

_I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies_

_And I'm not proud of my address,_

_In a torn-up town, no postcode envy_

_But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom_

_Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,_

_We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams._

_But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece._

_Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash._

_We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair._

_And we'll never be royals (royals)._

_It don't run in our blood,_

_That kind of luxe just ain't for us._

_We crave a different kind of buzz._

_Let me be your ruler (ruler),_

_You can call me queen Bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule._

_Let me live that fantasy._

_[Verse 2]_

_My friends and I—we've cracked the code._

_We count our dollars on the train to the party._

_And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this,_

_We didn't come from money._

_But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom._

_Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,_

_We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams._

_But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece._

_Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash_

_We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair_

_And we'll never be royals (royals)._

_It don't run in our blood_

_That kind of luxe just ain't for us._

_We crave a different kind of buzz._

_Let me be your ruler (ruler),_

_You can call me queen Bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule._

_Let me live that fantasy._

_Ooh ooh oh_

_We're bigger than we ever dreamed,_

_And I'm in love with being queen._

_Ooh ooh oh_

_Life is great without a care_

_We aren't caught up in your love affair._

_And we'll never be royals (royals)._

_It don't run in our blood_

_That kind of luxe just ain't for us._

_We crave a different kind of buzz_

_Let me be your ruler (ruler),_

_You can call me queen Bee_

_And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule._

_Let me live that fantasy._

By the end, everybody is clapping and cheering for her so loud I think my eardrums will burst. Singing has never been my thing, neither has being in the spotlight. I'd honestly start cracking up once I heard myself sing, because I'd probably be getting really off-key and pitchy. Chris, on the other hand, is a natural. Tori then, thankfully, decides to pick other people not from our group. They're all okay, but still can't top Chris..nobody can, _right?  
+++_

I go shopping for about three hours, and we only stopped because me and Lynn were getting too whiny and demanding and supposedly "taking the fun out of being dragged away into places and being held against ourselves by sheer force". I'm now home...home, sweet home. This saying was definitely invented by someone who was forced to go shopping and then would be a happy rainbow the second he/she got home.

"Beatrice, we need you to come over here for a second," my dad yells.

I follow the source of the voice into the living room, but before I enter, I can just _feel_ some trouble directed towards me lurking in the room with my parents on their side unknowingly. I enter and my suspicions are confirmed. There stands Ian with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered onto his face.

"We heard you were at some party making out with a boy instead of at Ian's..is this true?" My mother asks gently and..._with amusement in her voice?_

"It was just a dare, that's all," I defend. _Nobody_ better think they have the right to associate _me_ with that _manwhore_. My dad seems to be relieved at that.

"So you admit you were at a party instead of Ian's house?" My dad asks absentmindedly.

"Yes. It's just that..this would've been my first party, and I'm a freshman. That's pretty rad. And me and Ian have just spent so much time together that I thought it would be no problem," I say.

I sometimes like using old words. It reminds my parents that I'm not a part of today's generation's zombies. That and it triggers memories of theirs when they were teenagers. Again, it lessens the blow.

"You had him worried sick-"

I scoff. Every head turns to me so I play it out as a cough.

"Are you okay, Beatrice?" My mother asks a little worried.

"Yes. I'm fine," you were saying? But I don't want to be the one to bring up the false lies so I let it go.

"As we were saying, next time just text him where you are. I'm sure he won't mind as long as he knows you're okay," my dad says.

If only you knew.

And I _did_ text him.._to not worry about it._

"Beatrice, is now a good time to have that quality time we value so much, or do you have things to do?" Ian asks. "_We _value so much**?**".

My mom takes my bags and says to go have some time with him, she's good putting the clothes away herself. I nod to him.

"Is that a 'yes'?" He asks, more like suggests or I'll get extra beatings.

I nod once more.

Thankfully, Ian knows better than to actually rape me..my dad isn't stupid and again, Ian still thinks it'd be more of an insult to whoever would be willing to do that. So we drive away to his house.  
+++

I have bruises and more scars littering my body. It isn't much longer before I

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	3. Chapter 3

I wake up sore. In addition to that, it's Wednesday. This week has been horrible. I get up to take a shower and rid myself of the dead skin and blood. I get dressed in Four's sweatshirt wearing my black sweater underneath. I don't want to wear his clothes. He just needs his shirt back, and I need my jacket. I still can't believe I actually made out with him, even if it was only once. I still gave up important things for a girl...that _sure_, maybe I don't fully care about (a small part of me can't help but dwell on my firsts), but other people do, and it doesn't help with him being the first for me. I had my first intimate session with him, my first kiss, but it could've been worse. At least I stopped when I did, or else he could've been my first time. I'm perfectly happy with my virginity, and I don't want to give it away to a total douche. With that said, I head downstairs for Ian to drive me to school. We stay in silence the whole drive. In fact, we even let out relieved sighs at the same time once we reached the parking lot. I enter the double-doors into my school. I walk through the halls to my locker keeping my head down. I may not usually get bruises left on my face, but this time he decided to teach me a lesson about defiance. It's just one bruise but having a lack of makeup experience tends to leave you vulnerable. I know I won't have a problem convincing my friends, but I do know that if Four were to see me like this...well, I don't know. He wouldn't care of course, but he still would know why I'm a rainbow. And that just bothers me. He could use it against me. If I were to say the same thing happens to him, he'd point to my face and say how I don't have any evidence. Just a douche, I tell you.  
"Hey Tri- Woah. What happened to you?" Mar asks after having a glance at my face.  
"I got in a fight. Can we please stop focusing on it?" I mumble.  
Thankfully, they seem to buy the fight thing, so they don't say more. I get my things from my locker and head to math early. On my way there, Peter sees me. Get ready for the besetment.  
"Aw. What happened to the Stiff?" Peter asks mockingly.  
"That's none of your business. And I got in a fight," I say firmly. I keep eye contact.  
"Are you sure? It seems as if there's something else. Is it hmm..is it..do you get _beat?_" When he asks it, I can't help but feel betrayal. I should've known Four couldn't keep his mouth shut.  
"In fact, I bet you get raped too. Nope, you're obviously just a slut to that stuff," he adds.  
Now I'm not so sure Four actually did tell him. I thought I made it pretty clear that he doesn't rape me. Of course, I didn't just come out and say it...judging by the way I acted though when we were alone should've tipped him off. Sure, I made out...but I didn't give him any inside mouth access and I would always find myself stopping when it seemed as if it were getting too intimate. But then again, I wouldn't be surprised if he weren't attentive, or just made his own false assumptions.  
"Just go fuck off Peter. You and your false assumptions and accusations," I shoot clearly annoyed.  
"Don't get mad, Stiff. You know I hate it when you get mad," he starts smiling at me devilishly. I step toward him.  
"Ooh, I see the Stiff is getting feisty. I like it," he grins mischievously.  
I walk past him to math but not before he grabs my wrist and whispers in my ear:  
"This isn't over, Stiff," he hisses the last part.  
I yank my wrist away and continue my way to math. I enter and immediately I'm struck with a nostalgic feeling after absorbing his words. _This isn't over, Stiff._ Great. Just great. I sit down in my seat. Nobody is really here, just the nerds. Just after I've settled in, everybody enters. I wonder who Four has this time. When he sits down, I notice I've never seen the girl around campus.  
"Students, this is Nita," the teacher introduces her. So she _is_ a new student.  
"She is also my daughter," he continues on. The look he gives her is filled with such pride, I can't help but develop jealousy. She's obviously a daddy's girl. I was too, once, but now it seems as if my dad has just given up on me. I mean, my parents are amazing..but they aren't always around. In fact, just three months out of twelve. They decided to be here for two months of my summer and one month of freshman year to see us moving on to high school. My dad, though, he just seems more impressed with Caleb. _Perfect grades, selfless [the virtue they value most and the one I'm awful at] to the core._ My mom is a little better but still the same. I literally have all of my family members' looks of disapproval memorized. Including Caleb. I try immensely to gain their attention, but it's like I'm not worthy of it. It's only when I get in trouble do I gain it, and by "it" I don't mean tag, I mean their disapproval. I'm always getting into fights, it's my thing really. But what most people don't stop to consider is, I'm not the reason for the fight. I actually decide to step in and fight for the other ones. My parents have not found out about that, though. And I'm not one to just do something for reward. Anyway, while I was wrapped up in my thoughts and glaring at the desk, my teacher has been calling me and doesn't look happy. Every head is turned in my direction.  
"Beatrice Prior! What do you have to say for yourself?" He asks.  
'Stop it, dad,' I think.  
"Sorry, I just zoned out. It won't happen again," I apologize.  
"It won't..because I'm giving you detention," he informs.  
"That's not fair, and I won't go," I tell him. I have never gotten detention before, and I won't now just because of a stupid thing like this. Not even my _fights_ landed detentions.  
"Excuse me?!" If he was mad before, he looks outraged.  
"You can't give me detention for a baby excuse," I give him a hard, determined look.  
"Watch your attitude young lady," he threatens, though doesn't mention detention.  
"...I'll cancel your detention only once," he says.  
"Thank you, sir," I tell him.  
+++

_Lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch._  
I'm about to enter the lunch line when Four comes and trips me. I fall face-flat on the floor. Everybody starts laughing. I just get up unfazed.  
"Aww Stiff," he teases. His whole demeanor, though, stiffens in one second after taking a look at me. I then remember the bruise on my face. I excuse myself to the bathroom. When I'm about to walk in, he grabs my wrist and leads me into a janitor's closet. He pushes me against the wall as in a "you're trapped" method.  
"Tris, what did he do?" He asks. Doesn't care, just curious.  
"That's none of your business," I glare.  
"I don't even know why I bother with you," I scoff at him for saying this.  
"I want my jacket and you can get your sweatshirt back," I've been waiting to do this _all_ day.  
"Fine, it's in the car," he tells me.  
I follow him to his car and he unlocks it. Thankfully, he didn't switch cars today, so my jacket is still there..somewhere. I rummage through the car until I find it. I walk back into the cafeteria without caring about his consent. Me and my friends chat a little before we have to head to music.  
+++

I get in and immediately feel tension in the air. I notice Tori isn't alone, there's somebody else with her that she is obviously not fond of.  
"Class, this is Jeanine Matthews. Please refer to her as Ms. Matthews," Tori says. Then she adds:  
"And Tris, you'll be singing today."  
Singing? This is bad, like _really really _bad. I am very off-key and pitchy, as I've said before. I still go up and sing:

_Eyes make their peace in difficulties_  
_With wounded lips and salted cheeks_  
_And finally we step to leave_  
_To the departure lounge of disbelief_

_And I don't know where I'm going_  
_But I know it's gonna be a long time_  
_And I'll be leaving in the morning_  
_Come the white wine bitter sunlight_

_Wanna hear your beating heart tonight_  
_Before the bleeding sun comes alive_  
_I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight_  
_And hear my beating heart one last time_  
_Before daylight_

_In the canyon underneath the trees_  
_Behind the dark sky, you looked at me_  
_I fell for you like autumn leaves_  
_Never faded, evergreen_

_And I don't know where I'm going_  
_But I know it's gonna be a long time_  
_'Cause I'll be leaving in the morning_  
_Come the white wine bitter sunlight_

_Wanna hear your beating heart tonight_  
_Before the bleeding sun comes alive_  
_I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight_  
_And hear my beating heart one last time_

_I can't face this now everything has changed_  
_I just wanna be by your side, here's hoping we collide_  
_Here's hoping we collide_  
_Here's hoping we collide_

_Wanna hear your beating heart tonight_  
_Before the bleeding sun comes alive_  
_I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight_  
_And hear my beating heart one last time_  
_Wanna hear your beating heart tonight_

When I finish, all I hear is clapping. Astonishingly, it actually beats Christina. _Oh, shit._ She isn't going to be happy. She's just staring off into space, being emotionless.  
Four casts a dark, conflicted look my way..but I don't care. I just go back to my seat as if nothing happened. The rest of class is a blur.  
+++

I take nap a that day, _though_..you'll never guess what I dreamt. Me and Four are fighting, as usual, but then he pins me to the wall and sucks on my pulse point on my neck. Before that continues, I wake up from my stupor and end up rolling off the couch. I go to the nearest bathroom, with the idea still planted in my head. I puke. I told you it's repulsive. I check my phone and see a text from..._Al.?_  
"Tris, can we meet somewhere? I'd love to talk to you."  
I reply back sure and we discuss details.  
+++

I'm heading out to go meet Al now.


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Divergent**

I get there and intend to just sit down, but Al decides he wants a hug first. His hands are on my lower back, dangerously close to my butt. I immediately get away, though subtly, and sit down. I stay on the edge so he has to sit across from me. Yup. I know about the "same side of the booth" thing. He is the first to speak:  
"So Tris, it's just that it gets lonely, ya know?"  
"I don't understand what you're trying to convey Al," I get right to the point.  
"Well, I was thinking. I mean, our group is filled with couples..and Lynn, she isn't interested in advancing in that stage. You can tell. Even if she was though, I've always liked you, Tris. I honestly feel like this is a sign that we're meant to be. Everybody else is together, it's really just a matter of time till we are," he concludes as if that would put my mind into the trance that I can't do better.  
"Al, you're a great friend, but that's all it is. 'Matter of time till we get together'? Who says we need to date only in our friend circle? There is an amazing girl out there for you, I guarantee that. But that girl isn't me, I also guarantee _that_. I'm sorry, Al," I've never been good at these..I've never_ had_ to be good at them.  
"Look, Tris. I think you're the one that's actually confused. Don't worry, though, when you realize we're meant to be, I'll be waiting for you with open arms," he says with a smile. Man, now all I want is to smack it off. So that's exactly what I do.  
"Please Al. Don't make this difficult," I try saying without a snarl. What he does next, though, catches me off guard. He kisses me. I don't kiss back. He asks for entrance. I don't allow. He tries shoving it. I don't let him. He tries putting his hands on me. I push them off. He tries wrapping his arms around me. I shove him off.  
"What the hell, Al?" I yell.  
"I was your first kiss. You'll never forget me now. And, later, you won't regret it. You'll tell our children how you loved me but didn't know it, and how you're thankful I pushed you, or else you would've never realized your true love," he says. Now I'm just thinking he's a psychopath. Wait, first kiss? _Uh-huh. Sure. Let's go with that._  
"I am your first kiss, _right?_" He asks, enraged.  
I get my things and am about to leave when he grabs my wrist and pulls me back.  
"Who was your first kiss?" He asks, anger filling his eyes and venom in voice.  
"That's none of your business,_ Al_," I spit his name out and wrench my wrist free. I leave the diner thinking of how big a jerk he is. Even when I said no he just kept insisting. I get some water and rinse my mouth. That had to be the most repulsive thing it has ever encountered. I go home.  
+++

"Beatrice Prior!" Caleb, again.  
"I'm up. Don't worry, Caleb," I shout. At least I'm back to my house. No more Ian.._for now_. I just wonder how awkward it'll be with me and Al. If he tries something though, I don't care. I will tackle him to the ground and pummel him. I swear. I get in the car and drive off to school with Caleb. I enter the school and immediately feel awkwardness. I go to my locker and see my friends arguing about something. I hear snippets about the quarrel, but not all.  
"She's getting out of her place" Chris  
"She didn't do anything" Uri  
"It's just the jealousy you have due to her beating you" Mar  
"Even _I_ don't have a problem with her" Lynn  
"She doesn't listen and keeps trying things with me" Al  
By now, I've kinda gotten an idea of who they're talking about.  
"Chris, she_ is_ your best friend. Think rationally" Will  
"She's acting different and not 'Tris'. Once you realize this, we'll be waiting" Chris again.  
I trudge the rest of the way to my locker. All of their eyes fall on me. I stay quiet, and so do they. The warning bell rings and I go to class. I have unshed tears in my eyes, but I don't let it show that much. I sit down and try to focus on doing some equations. I can't help thinking, though. _Chris_, being against _me_? She's my best friend. And all of this because of a stupid applaud thing? And Al and his lies. But Chris? She literally just broke my heart. A tear has just escaped my eye but I don't let it get far. I look around to make sure no one has seen it. So far, I've gotten lucky, until I spot Four. He stares at me, and I don't look away. He isn't a dog, but the same rules apply. Looking away is submissive. Looking him in the eye is a challenge. It's my choice. Heat rushes into my cheeks. What will happen when this tension breaks? Before the staring contest can continue on any longer, Nita clears her throat. Wow. He's with the same girl two days in a row? No rotation? _Damn._ He breaks away, but hesitantly. I go back to the equations, not giving any more thought on anything. The teacher starts and I actually pay attention. Even if I already know it. I can feel someone's eyes on me, but I don't care.  
+++

At lunch, my friends are divided. Chris, Will, and Al are at one table. Mar, Lynn, and Uri are at another. I sit down with them because, as I recall, they were on my side.  
"Hey," I say. They all say forms of greetings back to me.  
"If you're wondering, Will is only there because of Chris. He's trying to convince them you're not the kind of problem they're saying you are," Lynn teases a little. I manage a small smile.  
"Thanks, but you guys really don't have to do this," I feel bad for all of this conflict. It's all just because of _me_.  
"Hey, it's not your fault. I mean, Chris is obviously just jealous..but I don't understand Al. He keeps saying you won't leave him alone, but you've never shown any interest in him, whereas he has to you," Mar concludes.  
"He was trying yesterday to convince me that we were 'meant to be'..dumbass," I mumble the last part.  
"I just don't know what happened to them. Well, Al has always seemed creepy to me. I've always concluded that he'd grow up to be a molester. Chris though, I just hope she comes back to her senses," Uri says. I've never seen him so down. But he still manages to cheer others up. The thought of Al as a pedophile seems ridiculous, but now as I'm picturing it, the only thing that seems ridiculous is the fact that I never though of that. Huh.  
+++

Why, music? Why? The place that started all my best friend trouble. Me and the mini group have entered music but it's definitely early. Tori sees us and smiles.  
"Hey, what's up?" She asks.  
"Just thought we'd get here early. Is there a problem?" I answer for everyone.  
"Nope, it's just surprising. Feel free to do whatever you like..that doesn't involve dynamite," she adds wearily after taking a glance at Uri's bright face. He looks like a child on Christmas morning..well, until she delivered the explosives news. We all laugh. I sit on the table with my back to the door, facing my friends. We are all in deep conversation until we hear a wolf-whistle. I turn around and find Four staring at my ass.  
"Nice ass Tris. It's just like paper..flat," he says. Peter and the rest laugh at his little joke. I roll my eyes.  
"Hey Four, did you get your nickname from your jersey or your IQ?" I shoot back. All my friends laugh and we fist bump and high-five. He rolls his eyes and sits down.  
I fake gasp. "Did I actually render 'the big, bad Four' speechless?" I remember him doing the exact same thing with me. He just smirks but still has a small smile on his lips. I mirror his face and let a small one play on mine too. I turn back to my friends just like he does with his. After about five minutes, everybody enters.  
"Okay class, today we are doing duets," everybody groans.  
"Yes, groan at me because I'm the one who picked this. It isn't my choice. I've paired you guys up with a partner on the board." As soon as she says this, everybody is craning their heads to see. I don't even try because I know I'm too small to see over this.  
"Tori, I really think it'd be better if I were paired up with Tris instead," Chris says 'innocently'.  
"I agree," says Four. I wonder why he's saying that. Then it occurs to me, and to make sure I'm wrong I push everybody until I'm at the front._ I'm not wrong. I'm right. Shit._ "Well too bad. I chose this, and I'm not changing my mind," Tori snaps. They both groan. Four comes up to me and asks where we want to meet to discuss.  
"We can go to my house, if you want," he says cockily.  
"Ya, I'd like that," I say flirtatiously, while running my hand over his chest down to his torso through his shirt. I stop immediately and smirk and then say "but I'd really prefer the park."  
"Fine," is all he says.  
"Umm..Amity park, okay?" I ask.  
"Yeah sure."  
I'm definitely not looking forward to this.  
+++

I take a nap for a little. When I wake up, I remember I was supposed to meet Four at the park but we never discussed the time. I get dressed and head to the park. I find Four strumming a guitar on a bench and sit down next to him with some space keeping us apart.  
"Where the hell were you?" He asks annoyed.  
"I was sleeping. And we never discussed times," I say back flatly.  
He just scoffs.  
"What are you working on?" I ask. I really am curious.  
"Our duet," he replies back as if it's obvious.  
"Have you come up with anything?" I ask annoyed with his attitude.  
"Wouldn't you like to know? And I don't get how _you're_ annoyed when I'm the one who's been waiting for fifteen minutes. I thought you stood me up and was _actually_ just considering leaving," he says as if it's nothing.  
"Aw. Let me guess, that would've been the first time you've been stood up? And you don't have to be such a bitch..we never discussed times," I glare daggers at him.  
"Let's just work on the song. The sooner it's finished, the better," he tells me.  
"And to answer your previous question: I've got nothing. I need inspiration," he says staring into my eyes. _Oh, now you're answering my previous question._  
"Well, first lets come up with what kind of song it'll be," I say amused.  
"How about..," he taps his chin for effect.  
"How about we do one of those cliche songs?" He suggests smiling at me.  
"There are too many. You have to be more specific," I say smiling back at him. To which he just laughs.  
"Those 'I love you but hate you' songs," he says.  
"Ah. The most cliche of all," we both laugh.  
"What next?" He asks now serious again.  
"The lyrics. Then we can find out how we want the rhythm to be," I say.  
We both ponder how we want it to be but come up with nothing.  
"Let's go do something. Maybe we'll find inspiration there," he eventually says.  
We go down to the lake and sit at the edge of the dock, with our legs dangling over the water. Just then, an idea hits me. I push him into the water and make a run for it. He grabs my wrist right before I leave and pulls me in. He takes his jacket and shirt off because they're still dry and goes underwater. I now feel something nearing me and my suspicions are confirmed when two arms wrap themselves around the backs of my knees. He lifts me up and I giggle while putting my hands on the place his shoulder and neck connect. I am now taller than him due to him lifting me. He then gently dips me back into the water, with his arms still around me. When he brings me back up, I slap his chest and so he drops me. He starts swimming away. _Two can play at that game._ I start pretending to drown.  
"Four!" I gurgle water. I keep calling out his name and he finally looks back at me smiling. He then notices me 'drowning' and rushes towards me. He carries me just like he did a little before and starts whispering soothing words to me. I keep my cheek against his hair covering his scalp. I brush my fingers through his hair. I then push him under the water and start swimming away. Once he resurfaces, he shakes his hair and starts following me. I'm already at the dock so I climb up it. I'm drenched and cold but I keep running. I then feel arms wrap around my waist keeping me in place. He plants a small kiss on the corner of my jaw and then tugs me back. We are both standing at the dock panting. I shiver and he notices. He removes my shirt and I'm about to slap him when he puts his dry shirt on me and his jacket, too.  
"Thank you," is all I manage to croak out.  
"Let's just start on the song," he says rather rudely.  
"Aren't you cold?" I ask worried. I don't want to make him be cold because of me.  
"Don't worry about it," he snaps. I'm not in the mood to care. I'm still shivering immensely. I stare at him to make sure he isn't lying and he stares right back. I can't help it and my eyes wander down to his chest and then torso [aka abs]. I gulp.  
"See something you like?" He asks, cockily.  
I turn away and go back to the bench. He follows. We sit down and he picks up his guitar.  
"Come up with anything yet?" He asks.  
"No," is all I intend to say.  
"Don't tell me you're mad," he says amused.  
"Shut up," I snap.  
"Why do you have to be so difficult?" He snarls.  
"Because you're so damn annoying!" I yell. I'm letting out all of the emotions I have felt today, starting with anger.  
"Due to how frustrating you are," he spits.  
"Well maybe if you didn't act like you have something shoved up your asshole and wedged between your butt cheeks you could be reasonable, _and tolerable!_" I shout back at him.  
"I generously give you my shirt and jacket so you don't stay cold and you're acting this way?!" He growls. It's a deep growl, one that resides from the bottom of your stomach to the top of your throat.  
"Take it!" I yell. I take the jacket off and midway as I'm taking the shirt off he stops me and just puts it back on. He then puts the jacket around my shoulders, takes my arms one by one, and puts them in the sleeves gently.  
"Keep it," he says sternly.  
"Thank you," I shiver.  
He keeps his arms around me. I'm not done though.  
"_I hate you._ I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," I clarify.  
"Well at least I'm not the one who has her friends hate her," he says outraged. Just hearing that reminds me of the betrayal I now have associated with Chris. It channels my sadness and the anger dissipates. I break down right in front of him, with his arms still around me. He tenses and immediately, _almost instinctually,_ pulls me into his lap.  
"What's wrong?" He asks holding me to his chest. He grabs my chin when I've finally calmed down a little and makes me look him in the eyes.  
"I need to buy a filter for your brain, so you actually process what you're about to say before you say it," I hiccup.  
"I'm sorry. Tell me what's wrong," he says softly. I shake my head.  
"You wouldn't care," I manage to get out.  
"Tris, it's okay. Just trust me," he pleads. I shake my head again. I start writing down on the notepad he brought. I get off his lap.  
"Well, I was thinking it could have something to do with lies and betrayal and hell," I say focusing on the song.  
"Tris, stop trying to change the subject," he tells me.  
"_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie_," I sing softly.  
He grabs my hands.  
"Who is this song about exactly?" He asks a little angry.  
"You said we're going to do one of those cliche songs. That's all I'm doing. It isn't exactly about anyone," I say normally.  
"Why were you crying today?" He asks me.  
"That's none of your business. Can we just work on the song?" I snap.  
"Okay, that can be the chorus. Now we have to find how it is going to be played. Sing and I'll play," he tells me.  
I start singing while he plays. It actually sounds beautiful. Once he strums the last chord we look at each other at the same time. We get lost in each other's eyes. He's leaning in now and so am I. It's like we are under a trance. He puts his guitar aside not breaking contact. We wrap our arms around each other and just before our lips are about to connect, I pull away.  
"Why do we keep doing this?" I ask to no one in particular.  
"What do you mean?" He looks completely bewildered. I internally laugh.  
"I think you know pretty well what I'm talking about. You won't break my heart. _Did you hear me?_ I won't let you have me vulnerable and then have me crushed. _You can't break me._" I say enunciating every word.  
"I know I can't. And that isn't my purpose," he says with a troubled look.  
"Then what _is_ your purpose?" I ask impatiently.  
"I'll tell you that once you tell me why you were crying..both of the times today," he says with a smirk.  
I keep quiet.  
"That's what I thought," he grumbles.  
"So what should be next..for the song, I mean?" I change the topic.  
"Let's put some up-beat into it. Such as rap. Everybody loves it in songs," he says.  
"You can rap?" I ask amused.  
"There are many things you don't know about me," he says with a dark expression.  
"Well rap is out of the question for me..so you?" I want this assignment finished as soon as possible.  
"Now that I've gotten what you want with the song, I'm pretty sure I could come up with things for the rap. You come up with the singing. We'll meet up once we've come up with enough, and put it together," he glares.  
"We should have two rap parts. It should also kinda be like they're replying to each other but not exactly. And I'll come up with two parts also and then the song starts with the chorus and ends with it," I conclude. He just nods. I pack up my things and get ready to leave. Before I can make my escape he catches my wrist. He turns me around so I'm facing him.  
"You can trust me, you know. In fact, what could _you_ possibly have to hide?" He asks snakily.  
"Wouldn't you like to know? You'd be the last person I'd go to, so don't dwell on it," I snap.  
"What secrets could a _twelve-year old_ have?" He asks indirectly.  
"Too bad you'll never find out," I hiss. To which he just growls. I leave and I can still feel his eyes on me. Whatever. I will never end up with that douche-bag.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own "Divergent". I may use some of their scenes, maybe even to the exact word, but I do not claim ownership for them. It belongs to Veronica Roth. I also use the characters, but I DO NOT OWN "DIVERGENT"..though that doesn't mean I love it any less..or that I wouldn't want to own it.**

I wake up in the morning. Nothing has actually happened, it's pretty boring. Yes, it's only been a day..but who cares? It's Friday. I've almost gotten through my first week of high school.._not that I care._ This week has been awful, so all I can hope for is that the rest of the semester won't be this way. I've been working on my part of the song. It's been coming out great. I'm just curious as to what he wrote. It better be good or else he'll have to deal with an unhappy me. So far I've come up:

_On the first page of our story _

_The future seemed so bright _

_Then this thing turned out so evil _

_I don't know why I'm still surprised _

_Even angels have their wicked schemes _

_And you take that to new extremes _

_But you'll always be my hero _

_Even though you've lost your mind _

_Now there's gravel in our voices _

_Glass is shattered from the fight _

_In this tug of war you'll always win _

_Even when I'm right _

_'Cause you feed me fables from your hand _

_With violent words and empty threats _

_And it's sick that all these battles _

_Are what keeps me satisfied _

_So maybe I'm a masochist _

_I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave _

_'Till the walls are goin' up _

_In smoke with all our memories_

So yes, I was only supposed to write 2 parts, but I was feeling inspiration. Anyway, I wonder if he even _thought_ about the assignment. I guess I'll find out at school today. I still have his shirt and jacket because he made me keep them. I have nothing more to say on that matter. I decide to walk to school today. It seems like it'll be a nice change of scenery. In a few more weeks, my parents will be leaving. I wonder if my friends are still divided.._all because of me._ With all my thoughts, I don't realize that I've already reached the school. I get to my locker and pull out all the supplies I'll need. Getting away isn't that easy though. Peter trips me and I fall. Lauren and Molly start kicking my sides. I immediately get up so no more damage can occur. A whole fight breaks loose. _Me vs. Lauren and Molly._ So far I'm doing good, they have really weak strategy. Then I feel a hand pushed against my forehead and it's so long that it covers my eyes, too. The same with Molly, and Lauren is being shielded by the arm attached to the hand. I get the hand off and see Four.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell outraged.

"Maybe if you weren't picking fights I wouldn't have had to do that," he says quietly, trying to be intimidating. Well, too bad it doesn't work that well on me.

"So you come in right when I've gained dominance, but not when they do?" I ask.

"Shut it, Prior," he snaps coldly.

"Bitch," I mutter under my breath, but he must've been pretty close to me because he heard it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you rather have me contact the front desk instead? So all of your family can know?" He threatens. I feel tears welling up in my eyes but only a few. It's not that noticeable. It's a good thing I knew I could never trust him.

"No," I barely reply. It comes out hoarse.

"I cannot hear you. Speak louder, _freshman_," he commands quietly. If there's one thing I've learned about Four, it's this: _Quiet=Dangerous._ I still keep learning it the hard way though. This guy can't scare me.

"No," I whisper. He can't scare me, but I'd rather not be an even bigger disappointment than I already am. I feel even more tears well up in my eyes, but they will remain there, unshed.

"Hey Four, the Stiff is crying," Peter mocks.

"Aw. What's wrong, Stiff? Did the big, bad Four hurt your feelings? Did you actually think he'd go for you?" Zeke starts joining in on the "fun". Ew. Four &amp; I. What's wrong with these people's brains? _Oh, wait, I know._ If they're coming up with these conclusions, then they _don't have one._ I attempt to walk past them, but Peter catches my wrist, rather harshly.

"Stiff," he hisses. It reminds me of what he said before...of how we aren't over just yet. I shudder at the thought of what awaits me.

I try to get away, but he still has a good hold on my wrist. He shoves me into the lockers and then Nita comes out. She gives Four a quick peck and then heads for me. She takes her heel off and starts jabbing the pointy part into me. As if I didn't already have bruises. Another fight is about to break out between us until Four pulls Nita back and slams me once last time into the locker. I yelp but that's all they're getting out of me.

I then head to Math, limping. Nothing wrong with my foot, but my stomach hurts like a bitch. Everybody else is already here, even the Devils. Class still hasn't started so I'm not late. I take a seat and once the teacher walks in he clicks his tongue at me in disapproval.

"Beatrice Prior! Office, now!" He screams at me. His eyes look they're about to bulge out of his head.

"Wow. Not even a story?" I ask sarcastically.

"That's it. I'm calling your parents," he says calmly.

"No. Please, no. I'm begging you," I don't care how weak I seem. I _need_ to impress my parents.

"You should've thought of that before you beat them up, especially my daughter," he says, pointing to the jerktourage.

"But I didn't-," I start. I stop once he gives me the "it doesn't matter what you say it's still false" look.

"Yes, Ms. Prior?" He asks, knowing he has the upper hand.

"Nothing," I mumble almost incoherently.

"Very well. I shall call your parents," he says, with a smirk. I nod my head.

I head to the bathroom. That's when I let the tears come. I take out a razor. I don't cut, this would be my first time. I probably shouldn't be doing this. I take one last glance-of longing-and then put it back down where I found it.  
+++

I'm not getting picked up. I still have to finish the school day. Home is where disappointment will kick in. My friends are trying to cheer me up about the whole "parents" thing, but I never told them the real story.

"Don't worry, your parents are pretty cool. They'll understand," Mar says. Everybody agrees.

We're still divided. Christina passes by our table and "accidentally" dumps her tray on me. Why all this drama? I get up and stare at Christina hard.

"Why did you do this?" I whisper.

"Tris, it's time you learn where you belong," she says as if she's talking to a five-year-old.

"Get the fuck away from her, you jealous bitch," Lynn growls.

"Fine, let's go, Will," she says sternly. He looks at all of us. Especially me. By now, the whole cafeteria is staring, trying to wonder what went wrong with the legendary best friends.

"Chris, don't you think this is a little too much?" He asks warily.

"No. I don't. Why? Do _you_, Will?" She asks with caution in her tone.

"Chris, can we please stop this? I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to steal your audience," I plead. I miss my best friend.

"I'll think about it. Now, _William?_" She asks again.

"I have to side with Tris on this one. You're being very unreasonable. In fact, I think you need to change Chris..I'm breaking up with you", he says with a sigh. Great. _Thanks a lot, Will._ Now I'm never getting my best friend back.

"Chrissy, please come back to me. I miss my best friend. Chrissy-poo?" I _need_ to get back my chance.

"I'll think about it. And how can you be so sure she didn't do anything? Did you hear what she was trying to get Al to do? She really isn't the same person she was before," she growls.

"What could she have possibly done to Al?" He yells at her.

"She was trying to get with him," she snarls.

"Yes. That's why I've seen him being creepy with her," he says sarcastically. At that, Al's cheeks turn red in embarrassment and the whole cafeteria snickers. She is about to leave when she focuses her attention on me.

"You," is all she says. I bet I look worse than she does right now. Even with her mascara leaked eyes. Uri comes up to me and gathers me in his arms. I start silently sobbing and he doesn't care. Will just stands there, pained. I rest my hand on his shoulder to show him my thanks and continue my silent crying. He pats my hand with his.  
+++

Music. The time me and Four actually have to communicate. _Could this day get any worse?_ Thankfully, though, it hasn't. We won't be having music next week because it changes every week. Tori is thinking about making it months though. If she wants to keep weeks, we will have art Monday. Anyway, she says we can just work on our assignment. I go to Four.

"Did you finish your part?" I ask almost mechanically. He nods his head.

"You?" He asks. I nod my head back.

"Well, then, let's take a look," he says after some silence between us. I nod, again. I show him mine.

"This is amazing, you know," he comments. I blush.

"Let me see yours," I whisper.

He shows me his:

_[Part One:]_

_I can't tell you what it really is _

_I can only tell you what it feels like _

_And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe _

_I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight _

_As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight _

_High off her love, drunk from her hate, _

_It's like I'm huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate _

_And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me _

_She fucking hates me and I love it. _

_"Wait! Where you going?" _

_"I'm leaving you!" _

_"No you ain't. Come back." _

_We're running right back. _

_Here we go again _

_It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great _

_I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane _

_But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed __I snapped _

_Who's that dude? "I don't even know his name." _

_I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again _

_I guess I don't know my own strength _

_[Part Two:]_

_It's morning, you wake, a sun ray hits your face _

_Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction _

_Hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry _

_That you pushed me into the coffee table last night _

_So I can push you off me _

_Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me _

_Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy _

_Baby, without you I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me _

_Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me _

_Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the _

_Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we _

_Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs _

_That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky _

_Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills, _

_You hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'? _

_I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count _

_But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain _

_Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refuse counsellin' _

_This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand _

_Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it _

_'Cause with you I'm in my fuckin' mind, without you I'm out it_

"This is amazing, too, you know", I tell him.

"How do you want to put it together?" He asks.

"Well, the chorus first and last..and I did three parts, so you could put yours in between mine," I suggested.

"Okay, let's try it," he says.

_[Tris:singing] _

_"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, _

_but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. _

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, _

_but that's alright because I love the way you lie. _

_I love the way you lie _

_On the first page of our story _

_The future seemed so bright _

_Then this thing turned out so evil _

_I don't know why I'm still surprised _

_Even angels have their wicked schemes _

_And you take that to new extremes _

_But you'll always be my hero _

_Even though you've lost your mind", I start singing. _

_[Four:rapping] _

_"I can't tell you what it really is _

_I can only tell you what it feels like _

_And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe _

_I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight _

_As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight _

_High off her love, drunk from her hate, _

_It's like I'm huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate _

_And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me _

_She fucking hates me and I love it. _

_"Wait! Where you going?" _

_"I'm leaving you!" _

_"No you ain't. Come back." _

_We're running right back. _

_Here we go again _

_It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great _

_I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane _

_But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed __I snapped _

_Who's that dude? 'I don't even know his name.' _

_I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again _

_I guess I don't know my own strength" _

I start singing again and he chimes in a little:

_[Tris and Four:singing] _

_"Now there's gravel in our voices _

_Glass is shattered from the fight _

_In this tug of war you'll always win _

_Even when I'm right _

_'Cause you feed me fables from your hand _

_With violent words and empty threats _

_And it's sick that all these battles _

_Are what keeps me satisfied _

_[Tris:singing] _

_So maybe I'm a masochist _

_I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave _

_'Till the walls are goin' up _

_In smoke with all our memories" _

We're so caught up in the strums of the guitar and song we aren't paying attention to anything, including our classmates surrounding us.

_[Four:rapping] _

_"It's morning, you wake, a sun ray hits your face _

_Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction _

_Hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry _

_That you pushed me into the coffee table last night _

_So I can push you off me _

_Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me _

_Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy _

_Baby, without you I'm nothing, _

_I'm so lost, hug me _

_Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me _

_Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the _

_Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we _

_Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs _

_That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky _

_Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills, _

_You hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'? _

_I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count _

_But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain _

_Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refuse counsellin' _

_This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand _

_Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it _

_'Cause with you I'm in my fuckin' mind, without you I'm out it"_

No attention being paid to anyone other than our song..

_[Tris and Four:singing] _

_"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, _

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts. _

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, _

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie. _

_I love the way you lie_," we end the song. He strums the last chord.

This time, though, we aren't caught up in each other, but the stares we're receiving. I notice the whole class looking at us intently, including Tori. I immediately get up and excuse myself. Four goes to talk to Tori. I stand outside the room waiting for their stares to leave me. When I feel like a majority of them are gone, I enter the room again. Nobody is paying us any attention thankfully, except of course Chris and Al. That's all I'm aware of, at least. Four and Tori are still talking. I go to join the conversation.

"Yes. Your assignment has been turned in and you have both received full scores," Tori says, acknowledging me. We both nod. He then goes back to his seat.

"What were you two talking about?" I ask.

"Nothing really," she says, though I know she's keeping something from me, and she knows I know that much.

"Don't worry about it," she assures me. I nod my head once more.  
+++

I'm home. Today was boring. Weekend dopes. So happy. I wonder what it brings.

"Beatrice, somebody wants to talk to you," Caleb yells. I take the phone from him.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey," I would've never guessed it was _him_. How'd he even _get_ Caleb's number? They must have a class together. Why didn't Caleb tell me _before_ handing the phone to me?! I glare at him from across the hall. He just smirks.

"What the hell do you want, Four?" I whine, spitting his name out like its venom.

"I needed to ask you something, pipsqueak," oh great! The nickname is back.

"What?" I snarl.

"Tori wanted me to tell you that we're going to have a mandatory trip soon," he says back annoyed.

"That isn't a question," I say back annoyed, too.

"Never mind", he says all of a sudden.

"No! _I want to know!_" I complain.

"Of course _you_ would," he says back with a smirk probably plastered onto his face.

"Do you trust me yet?" He asks hopeful.

I snort. "I'd rather not have my secrets carried in everybody's brain," I growl.

"What's your problem?" He asks.

"_You._ You're my problem," I say frustrated.

"Can you meet me at the park?" He asks out of the blue.

"Why would I do that?" I snap.

"Please? Just drop the annoying stubbornness act and for once, make a rational decision," he snaps back.

"Fine, _bitch._ Only because I'm curious as to what you have to say," I bat.

**I seriously need help! What should I do for the next chapter? I'm warning you now, I'll give you FourTris scenes, but I want them to hate each other longer. This isn't the stereotypical "I hate you" but in the second chapter they're together. I want them to _actually_ get together, not just a cheap one. But, please, inspiration?! If you don't want to offer it, I still have much, but it wouldn't hurt to get some from you guys. : )**


	6. Chapter 6

**Stuff happen in the dream. Not smut. Just stuff. Also scenes will be used word for word from the book..they belong to Veronica Roth. I use them how they are in order to make the story more authentic. This is the last time I will say this. The scenes will be put in my own ways but will be using her aspects. Such as setting changes but dialogue remains the same. Read the note at the bottom.**

I head on over to the park. I wonder what the fucktard has in store for me now..

I find him sitting at a bench, fiddling with his fingers. I go stand in front of him and clear my throat.

"What do you want, fucktard?" I ask annoyed.

"Trust," he says simply.

"It's not that easy, alright?" I snap. I know where this is going to go now..and for that I regret my response.

"Why? What's the reason you can't trust easily?" He asks clearly interested.

"Please, Four. I _really_ don't want to be doing this," I mumble. I start walking away but he grabs my wrist, rather softly, and pulls me back.

"I know about what happened in the cafeteria today. You could've told me about this. You could've told me why you were crying, you know?" He asks with a sigh.

"It's more complicated than that," I say on the verge of tears.

"Humor me," he responds, admitting to stubbornness.

"Please Four. Don't make me do this," I beg. I also sob once while saying it.

He sighs but doesn't prod anymore. He gathers me in his arms and sits me on his lap, rocking me back and forth, calming me, as if it were a soothing mechanism. Maybe it is. _Maybe he uses it on all his sluts._ I pull away the second my thoughts are voices inside my head. He looks confused at the sudden action but quickly masks it.

"I should be leaving," I say standing up. Just like before, though, he does the process of the wrist-grabbing and twirling.

"Four, I'm not discussing this with you," I hiss.

"Then let's talk about something else," he says rather annoyed.

"This trip? Tori's field trip?" I ask changing the subject.

"Don't know. It's a surprise…well for the freshmen. For the others, it's considered tradition," he says smirking.

"Can't you tell me?" I ask perplexed.

"Nope. That'd ruin the surprise," he says amused at my behavior.

I want to get this over with as fast as I can. I search for his clothes in my bag and then hand them to him. He pushes them back into my hands and shakes his head.

"I told you to keep them," he says.

"I don't want to," I bite back.

"Not my problem," he shrugs.

I slap him. He is very annoying. He rolls his eyes but looks a little angry. I roll my eyes at that.

"Why do you do this? Bring girls into your life with no meaning for them, other than as your 'sexual paradise', and make them think otherwise. As if you actually _love_ them?" I ask, obviously hitting a sore spot. He doesn't show any emotion though.

"Maybe if you tried it, you'd know. And it's not like they aren't warned, what else could I be there for? After all, you weren't blinded at first sight, you knew I was trouble. If they can't contain common sense, then that's their problem," he shrugs. I scoff.

"Manwhore, much?" I mumble.

"Shut up and don't call me that," he grumbles.

"Why do you hate me so much? Everybody knows why I hate _you_, but why do you hate me?" I ask incredulously.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," he says coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?"

Candor are the blunt ones..just letting you know. It's all complicated, I'll discuss this whole faction system we own later.

"It must be because you're so approachable," I say flatly. "You know. Like a bed of nails."

"Careful, Tris," he finally says after our staring contest. Silence fills us, but it isn't exactly uncomfortable.

"I told you why you piss me off, remember?" He asks, searching my face. _Now I remember. _I could be his twelve-year old little sissy.

"Ya. I remember now," I say quietly.

"I honestly am surprised someone could be so…_not curvy._ Are you a boy or something, that's gay and doesn't want to be humiliated and made fun of so he pretends to be a girl?" Wow, that question was bitter cold.

"Even if I was gay, _or a guy_, it doesn't matter…the humiliation, it's already there because of you," I say indifferently. He bites his lip.

"Sorry you had to worry for a _guy_ all this time," I say sadly._ I wish I could actually be loved by someone…but wishes don't actually come true._

"Don't worry about it..but you might want to get ready for some more bullshit headed your way tomorrow. After all, Christina and Al have now joined our group," he says joyfully.

"How could people like you be so heartless? _What is wrong with you?_" I ask more to myself but still directed at him.

He just smirks.

"Sweetie, it's time you're taken to your breaking point," he says grabbing my chin and making me look him in the eye. I only nod my head. _I have never been so confused in my entire life.  
+++_

I get home and it's not that late. Probably 6:30. I try to get upstairs without being caught, but fail miserably. I tripped and landed with an "oomph". I've never been that graceful.

"You got in a fight. _You_ got in a _fight_. _You got in a fight_," my dad yells more like a statement than question.

"Upstairs, Beatrice. I don't want to hear it," my mother says quietly. _Not you too, Mommy._

I head upstairs to my room and change. I then curl up on my bed and listen to the conversation going on downstairs.

"Why couldn't she have turned out like Caleb? What's wrong with her? She is usually _better_ than this." Dad

"I don't know what's with her. Maybe she should live with Ian. She always is obedient after dealing with him. I wonder what his trick is…" Mom

"Don't worry. I'll deal with it. After you guys leave, she'll be better, well as good as she can get." Caleb

_What has happened to my family?!_

I don't want to hear anymore, after all I've heard enough. I go to the bathroom and pick up a razor. I never had a thing for cutting..never wanted to take the easy way out, but it just seems so easy.._and tempting. _Like it's calling my name. I decide this is it. First &amp; Last. I heard about a girl who wrote on herself with a razor as a tool until she committed suicide. That was the purpose of the past tense. One part really stuck out to me, though. She had the word "_loved_" written on the inside of one of her thighs. I don't want to lie to myself. I decide on writing "_imperfection_" on my hip in small font. I grit my teeth due to the stinging sensation. I don't do it hard enough for a permanent scar, because in the most pathetic parts of me, I still have hope. I do, though, have the razor dug in to the point where a temporary scar is sure to stay. I don't want to bleed to death so I decide to bandage it. The scar will still remain. I walk out triumphantly and head to my room.  
+++

It's Saturday. Too bad there's nothing for me to do. Oh well.  
+++

It's Sunday and I don't want any "_fraternizing_" to be including me. I'm just going to cry the rest of the day and stay in bed.  
+++

I would've done more on the weekend..but it was really tempting to do nothing. I wake up from my thoughts, _not Caleb_. I wonder why. Oh wait. _He must've left without me._ Figures. I go to school.  
+++

I'm on my way to Math when Peter appears.

"The Stiff is a guy now?" He remarks.

The rest of them appear, too.

"Explains her body," Nita says.

"Say whatever you want. I really don't care," I say annoyed.

"Well, Stiff. If you want to actually prove you're a girl, it doesn't hurt to show," says Four cockily.

"It probably would hurt though, Four, if she's actually telling the truth. But..there is only one way to find out if it'd hurt, isn't there?" Peter smirks maliciously.

"Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me," I say enunciating each word.

"It doesn't matter if she's actually a girl..that _is_ all she is. A girl. She definitely can't be a woman without the figure," Lauren says. _I never expected any less shallowness from you. _

"Can you guys please just stop?" I ask getting pissed.

"_Beatrice_?" A voice demands.

"Yes, Caleb?" I ask warily.

"What the hell are you doing?" He screams at me.

"Wow. You never knew your sister for who she _really_ is? That's just fantastic. Let me introduce you to her: _slut_ meet Caleb. Caleb meet _slut_," Peter says with a smirk.

"Caleb, they–" I start

"I can't believe you! Why can't you just be good.._for once?!_ And you actually get upset when mom and dad try to get you to _clean up your act?!_ And you actually wonder why…_we all hate you!_" Caleb says, though he asks incredulously.

I have a lone tear that has led its river down my left cheek. I hurry to the bathroom not daring to look at the others for their reactions. _I will never be more than an imperfection._ Maybe it's time to try that "ditch" thing.…no. They won't get the better of me. No more tears I will let shed, the lone tear was already a mistake. I won't fight fire with fire. I will become a robot, mechanical. No feelings. No emotions. No humanity. I will remain me, but they will not provide effects for me. _I will not be their target. If I am, they cannot get the better of me. I am empowered. Beatrice will not belong to me. __**I am Tris.**_

I go home. After all, it_ is_ the end of the day, and dismissal will be performed. I am home before Caleb because of my free period. Soon, he'll be coming home and telling my parents about what happened. I love my family, no matter what. I know they mostly hate me, but the fact that they still have tolerance for me proves they contain love for me. _Even if Caleb hogs most of it. _I've been thinking about tattoos for some unknown reason. My family doesn't approve of them, but they just keep catching my eye. I heard there is a tattoo parlor somewhere near here, my friends have recommended it. They should know the best ones, after all, they have experience with tattoos. Uri has a snake behind his ear and one on his waistband. I haven't had a chance to ask what it was though, or what it represents.

"Mom! Dad!" Caleb yells. _Wow. I didn't even realize the front door opened.  
_  
"Yes, Caleb?" my mother asks.

"Beatrice. I suggest you come down here," yells Caleb.

"She has supposedly been 'sleeping' with guys," Caleb informs once I'm on the last step of the stairs.

"Are you sure, Caleb? Yes, your sister has been acting different lately, but I'm pretty sure she's comfortable with her..._purity_," my dad shudders before the word leaves his mouth. I know he wanted to use _"virginity"_ but decided against it. He shudders from the word _"purity"_, he'd probably have a heart attack with _"virginity"._ But he actually sided with me. _He sided against Caleb and stuck with me._ I'm honestly astonsished. Speechless, even. My mother nods her head in approval. I go and hug them. They seem surprised at first, but eventually give in.

"Well, there's only one way to find out. Make her take the test," Caleb states simply.

"Caleb, I know my daughter well enough to know she isn't a slut. Keep your suggestions to yourself, I don't want you talking about her in that way," my father says sternly. With me still wrapped up in his arms. It's these small moments that makes me love them. Sure, they aren't always affectionate towards me, in fact, rarely..but they still have their times, and it keeps me coming back for them.

"A guy told me she does all this. He said, 'Wow. You never knew your sister for who she _really_ is? That's just fantastic. Let me introduce you to her: _slut_ meet Caleb. Caleb meet _slut'. _Is that your boyfriend?" Caleb glares at me.

"I've never done things with guys. I have only made out _once _with only _one_ guy..and it was a dare! That was even my first kiss," I defend.

"Then why did he tell me all of that?" Caleb asks bewildered.

"Why did you _believe_ him?" I ask upset.

"I'm sorry, but what was going on there?" He asks warily.

"Nothing, really."

He narrows his eyes at me but doesn't say more.

"You guys are free to go to your rooms now," my mother says softly. She gently puts her hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek and then my dad tousles my hair and kisses my forehead.

I decide to get some sleep now, and so I start with my dreaming. It opens up with me staring at dark blue, almost black eyes.

_I'm staring at dark blue, almost black eyes. My hands are combing through his short hair which is dark brown. His lips-which are on my neck-have a spare upper lip and full lower lip, I identify. He then kisses my lips. He is using his tongue and nibbling on my lower lip. I am french-kissing a guy. I shove him off me-yup, that sounds more like me...but I think too soon. He sits there on the bed with his tie hanging loose around the collar of his shirt and looks excited. I wonder what for. I then re-enter in a silk gown..or nighttie, I'm not sure. I go over to him and grab his hand. I get him off the bed and push him against the wall. I kiss him, hard. And he returns the favor. He scoops me up and places me on the floor. I don't know why he picked the floor instead of the bed. Oh well. His knees are in between my legs-which are spread apart. I'm so confused. What's going on in this thing? I take the tie while kissing him, and then pull back and start running away. Seriously, somebody explain what is happening! He growls and then starts chasing me. He scoops me up again, but this time lays me on the bed. His fingers start searching-for what I don't know-but when I see my garment leaving my body just by a centimeter, a realization strikes me. _

I wake up screaming from the nightmare. I should've known it wasn't a dream. The guy and me..I can't prevent the shudder that racks my body. My parents storm into the room.

"Is everything alright, Beatrice?" my mom asks gently.

I nod my head. "Just a nightmare," is all I can actually get out to reply.

They nod and go back to their rooms. Caleb does, too, and I realize then that he was standing in the doorway.

Ermagerd.

Oh my god.

The guy was..

_shudder, shudder_

**Four**

**I hope this wasn't too innapropriate. If it was, I didn't mean for it to be. Okay, so I read the reviews like right after finishing and updating the chapter. I know. I'm stupid. I cannot remember the usernames very well but I'm making it obvious who I am talking to so..**

**Okay, I didn't feel comfortable _not_ using the usernames so I stopped being lazy for a second and opened another tab. Crazy, huh?**

LoveUriah2232

**I absolutely _love_ your idea. I am actually having trouble with figuring out ways to get them together. I want to stay true to the book, but I have a very complex (aka complicated) brain so again, I don't even know what I want. I guess I don't mind maybe making a compromise though..but I will have to see because my brain strays in so many directions. And I don't want anyone to know what will happen next because I'm an evil fucktard**

ilovedonuts21

**Four is now bipolar. Haha. I want to do a Four's POV but again, true to the book, and it only had Tris's.. I am considering it though. It's just with his POV you know what he's thinking and he isn't a complex character anymore..but again, I'm definitely considering it. And to answer your confusion..that's Four..a complex character. He isn't exactly sure _what_ he wants or _who_ so he's acting like a moody woman who's pregnant and pmsing..I wonder if I spelled that correctly..probably not..probably isn't even a word. Oh well. But in the books, you were never sure what was going on in his head so that is kinda why I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. I knew the issue would come up soon though..lemme get back to you on that. I don't even know _where _I am going with this "speech".**

blu

**There is a story already that is like that and I thought it was interesting but I didn't want to copy. It is called "Unexpected" and it is by "dumbrunette" and has a picture of Theo James's back (the "Four tattoo") and Spongebob.**


	7. Chapter 7

I wander around the room, looking at the artwork on the walls. These days, the only artists are in Amity. Abnegation sees art as impractical, and its appreciation as time that could be spent serving others, so though I have seen works of art in textbooks, I have never been in a decorated room before. My parents value Abnegation rules. Again, I'll explain later. It makes the air feel close and warm, and I could get lost here for hours without noticing. I skim the wall with my fingertips. A picture of a hawk on one wall reminds me of Tori's tattoo. Beneath it is a sketch of a bird in flight.

"It's a raven," a voice behind me says. "Pretty, right?"

I turn to see Tori standing there. I feel like I am back in the classroom, with the different tools and talents all around me. I didn't expect to see her here.

"Well, hello there." She smiles. "Never though I would see you here. Beatrice, is it?"

"Tris, actually," I say. "Do you work here?"

"I do. I just took a second job at the school. Most of the time I'm here."

I touch the sketch of the bird. "Listen-I need to talk to you about..." I glance over my shoulder. I can't corner Tori now; others will ask questions. "...something. Sometime."

"I am not sure that would be wise," she says quietly. "I helped you as much as I could, and now you will have to go it alone."

I purse my lips. She has answers; I know she does. If she won't give them to me now, I will have to find a way to make her tell me some other time. Is it really so bad I want more answers about their conversation the other day?

"Want a tattoo?" she says.

The bird sketch holds my attention. I never intended to get pierced or tattooed when I came here. Just observations before anything drastic. I know that if I do, it will place another wedge between me and my family that I can never remove. And if my life now continues as it has been, it may soon be the least of the wedges between us.

But I understand now what Tori said about her tattoo representing a fear she overcame-a reminder of where she was, as well as a reminder of where she is now. Maybe there is a way to honor my old life as I embrace my new one.

"Yes," I say. "Three of these flying birds."

I touch my collarbone, marking the path of their flight-toward my heart. One for each member of the family I left behind.

* * *

Wednesday morning. I never understood the purpose of spelling it like that when no one says it like that. _Oh well._ Usually, I don't have dreams, and today was no exception thankfully. I don't think I could deal with another one of those "Four nightmares". But he was right. Christina and Al_ have_ joined the dark side. Very ironic. Very. I push the blanket off me and crawl out of bed. I get dressed in a black tank top, kinda. I leave my hair as it is and just settle with running my fingers through it.

I go downstairs and grab a muffin. I head out the door and eat on my walk to school. Not really in the mood to ask for a ride from Caleb, just like he isn't in the mood to offer one.

When I get to my locker I see Christina sticking her gum on it. Al is just snickering.

"Chrissy. Please." I whimper out.

"Trissy, I thought I made it clear that I'd consider it," she says with a sigh. I can see in her eyes this is killing most of her.

"We could do a _lot_ worse, Tris. Consider it a favor." Al says with a menacing smile.

I take a glance at Christina and see she isn't particularly fond of this fighting, but she still won't back down.

"I have to head towards math now, but um...I really hope you guys take up on my offer. You know I can't live without you." I say before I head towards class.

* * *

I sit down in my usual seat and start fiddling with the collar of my shirt. I don't want people to see my tattoo...or at least _not yet._ And I _definitely_ don't want the jerktourage finding out about it. They'd probably never let me live that down. Four would start with _"Why did you do it? You can trust me enough to tell. Only everybody I know will have knowledge concerning it. Nothing much." _Honestly, he needs a life that doesn't intersect with mine. Four comes in with Nita. The only thing surprising being that he's still with the same girl. It isn't like him to settle down. He has his arm wrapped a little _too _low around her and she seems content with that. Just disgusting, I tell you. While I'm at it though, I think it is time to explain the "Amity, Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite, and Candor" things. So you see, Chicago has different sectors, kind of like towns or cities really. Amity is where you will find most "happy, rainbow, sunshine". They all aren't like that but most are so we just decided to make it an adjective to describe people. Abnegation is where I live. It has strict rules and most people who grow up here are likely to work in government. Again, the place doesn't have anything special, it's just the people. People are different in each town basically. Nothing much. It is still pretty real world if you ask me. Candor are the ones who work in law. All because the people there have gotten a habit of truth-telling. Dauntless, though, is a group. And a big one. Nobody is really sure if it is a town/sector or not. Erudite is filled with the most prestigious schools. They rely on education. You want a smart kid, Erudite will make him an Einstein. It really _is_ hard to explain though. It's kinda like how people are racist with other places, but the fun kind of course. For an example, English people are polite. America's are selfish and think the world revolve around them. I don't actually mean all that...but I'm hoping you get the point. Anyway, back to the present..._sadly_.

"Beatrice. How are you?" Nita asks me.

I raise an eyebrow at her trying to figure out what angle she is hinting at. "Sore. You?"

"Why are you sore, silly?"

"You should know, silly," I smirk. She just rolls her eyes.

"Beatrice," the teacher shouts. _He just gets more annoying each day._

"Yes?" I ask with fake kindness.

"Stop talking in my class."

"Tell your daughter that please."

"I don't want _any_ talking going on in my class."

"Sir, you didn't follow my request."

Before he can respond, Four does, "How are we going to learn if there's no talking? Are you going to write it down or something?"

"Yeah maybe while you're at it, you can also put how you're biased and treat 'your little princess' with favoritism," Zeke says while Four fist-bumps him. Four then looks to me and sends me a smile. I smile back to show my gratitude. I hate to admit, there _are_ times when he isn't so bad...but they're _very little. _Nita just huffs and goes to sit on his lap. Yup, gone as soon as it came. I zone out the rest of class with the pretense that I am listening.

* * *

I am currently in French. Usually things don't happen in this class..and I'm guessing they still don't, or at least hoping. It's very weird here, after all, I don't have any of my friends. This class is very calming I must say. The teacher isn't a bitch and the work is challenging but not impossible. The teacher is telling us her idea of how for a class trip, we should go to Paris. Everybody then starts making smoochy faces and saying how it is the "City of Love". One person even puts on the song that was from Phineas and Ferb. Ah, the classics. She then goes on to saying how we are all so cheesy and how it is probably not at all like that. I have to say, she seems pretty cool.

* * *

I set my tray down at my table without a word coming from my mouth. All I do is stare at them, and they stare back. All except Will. I sit down without breaking eye contact.

"Why are we still doing this?" Will is the first to break the ice. He startles us, however.

"Will, if you're really going to be this way then leave. But no matter what, _do not_ say it in front of her," Uriah threatens. _What is he talking about?_

"She _is_ the cause of this. I want my Christina back. Doesn't anyone else want it the way it used to be? It all changed because of _her_. I didn't think there was anything wrong with her, but now I'm not so sure. I mean, how does _one person_ change a whole entire gang? It doesn't without good reason," Will shouts standing up from his seat. _Oh. So that's what this is about._

"I told you to just leave if you were having doubts. You know how she gets when things like this happen and she's at the center of it. It isn't her fault. And to be real, the only reason the gang was like this was because of her. I don't mean the problem. I mean how we came together. She knew you three, and she knew us three. We became one because of her. Why don't you talk about that, huh? Stop blaming her for what wasn't even her fault." Now Uri is standing up from his seat, too. He's currently in Will's face.

"When you guys realize what is actually going on, we'll be waiting," Will finally says.

"Just go run back to your girlfriend, nerd boy," Uri spits.

"We will kill you if you try something like that again," Lynn says. We all stare at her. She just continues eating as if it was an involuntary reaction. Mar proceeds with her glares directed at Will. Hopefully, things will be back to normal soon. After all, by the looks of it, Christina wasn't enjoying this more than we were.

* * *

Tori decided that we would do each of the curriculums for two weeks. Then a rotation would occur. I can't stop wondering how she'll see me now that I know about her other job and she knows I have a tattoo at 14. If she weren't Tori, then I know there'd be disapointment involved. I enter the classroom and she just gives me an encouraging smile. I smile back and go to take my seat. For some reason, though, my butt hits the floor and _not_ the chair. I look up to see Four looking down at me snickering while the top of my chair rests in his palms. He offers me a hand but I get up by myself. I look around the room and stop once I see Christina's stare. It is a stare of _pity_. I _hate_ pity. I brush off some gravel and snatch my chair back.

Four leans in close to my ear and hisses, "Feisty" in a way that most girls would drop dead and instantly follow him to his bed. I said most girls. Not me. I huff and sit in my chair. He goes to his. I look at Tori and see her roll her eyes at him and he just smiles back innocently. I see a small smile on her lips.

"Before you start with 'that is the most absurd thing ever' or 'whyyyyy?' I am going to let you know that it wasn't me who chose this assignment. It was Ms. Matthews who is high up in the school board. Your assignment is...to make a music video for the song you have. For that, the film/photography club will help you. Each member willl be assigned to one of your groups and he will help the two partners with the filming for the video," Tori concludes. _A music video?_ I'm dead. I'm so dead. _Especially_ with the song me and Four made. I can feel the whines going off but they're nothing in my ears. I look at Four and see him staring at me. He has an emotionless face. I look back at my desk slowly. All the wheels in my head are turning and there is absolutely _nothing_ I can do about it. I can feel _everybody's_ eyes on me and Four. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him adressing all the stares, almost looking around frantically. Now that people have confirmed he isn't dead, they're trying to figure out the same for me. I continue staring at my desk. Even Four's stare is focused on me. Everybody's is.

"Tris," Tori calls soothingly. I don't reply, just remain motionless.

"I think she needs some time to process all of it," Uri says. It's already been processed. Just don't want to do it. Maybe if I concentrate enough, it'll all become a dream. Thankfully, then, an idea occurs to me. We won't have to do it ourselves. We can get actors, right? I look at the board. It says that no using actors because then we won't even be doing anything. Figures. No wonder why everyone is trying to make me feel better. I look back down at my desk.

"Tris, you may be excused from school for the rest of the day. You have a free period after this and then it's dismissal. No need to stay the rest of the day," Tori tells me gently. I remain motionless. Someone sighs and comes over to me. He picks up my stuff after putting them in my bag and starts to carry me. I wrap my arms around his neck and nustle my head into his chest. I realize it's Four but I don't care. He walks us to his car [I'm assuming] and lays me down in the back seat. He puts the three seat belts around different parts of my body. He then closes the door gently in order to not startling me and hops into the driver's seat while putting my things in the passenger's seat. He grabs a pillow-from where I don't know-and puts it under my head. The rest of the drive was a blur.

* * *

We have arrived at his house and I am still motionless. He gets out of the car, slings my bag over his shoulder, unbuckles my seat belts, and carries me into the house. He puts me down on the couch and heads to the kitchen.

"You need to eat," he sets a tray of cookies and milk down.

"I'm not Santa Claus," I reply while sitting up.

"I don't want to do this any more than you do," he sits down next to me.

"Ya. After all, you don't want to get a bad grade in math because you were doing stuff with other girls."

He laughs. "You're right, but can you stop being so dramatic about this? It really isn't the end of the world. And I don't think Nita could get jealous over someone like you. It's _your_ grade I'm worried about."

Now it is my turn to laugh. "Like you could be worried about anyone other than yourself. And I'm not trying to be dramatic-"

He snorts then says, "You needed me to carry you and you can barely talk and you're a statue."

"Really, Four. I can't do this right now. You've got me vulnerable. I'm nothing. Slaughter me and take your claim, just make it quick." I have a fucked up life. That is all there is to say.

He looks at me for a long moment and then places me in his lap. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and lifts my chin up so I'm looking at him through my glassy eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks sweetly. I know this is all a trick. One he uses on all of his sluts. I stare back and don't reply.

"Why do you keep doing this to me? I won't fall for the trick," I croak.

"What do you think of me? I'll tell you what I think of you if you tell me," he replies with his lips pursed.

"You first."

"Fine. I hate you. For some reason, though, I don't know what is going on between us. I know we hate each other...but..it feels different. Like I want you to let me in so I can crush you, but when you're crushed..I feel hurt. I don't want you having a fucked up life, but I like sucking the life out of you. Something I can't do. I don't exactly know why I don't affect you..but I like it. It encourages me more. I don't want others to lay a hand on you, but I don't mind giving you wounds that will never heal," he looks conflicted now. I bring my hand up and start rubbing it along his stubble, and then I slap him.

"You're a bitch!" I yell at him getting off his lap.

"What did I do?" he yells back.

"You're the biggest liar in the world. You don't care about me," I say.

"I don't," he shouts.

"Would you shut up and take me home? I don't understand why you keep doing this. I've made it clear it won't work on me, so why do you keep doing this? I don't want to think we're like the song we made, and I know we are not, because we don't feel that way towards each other. But can you just knock it off?" I shout back.

"Maybe I'm preparing for the video," he smirks. I just roll my eyes.

"Of course you are."

"Sleep the night," he suggests.

"No thank you," I reply back smoothly. I'm too scared I'll have one of those nightmares again.

"Please?" he asks making a puppy dog face.

"Too bad," I reply back innocently.

"Too bad I'm not taking you home," he says back, also innocently.

I huff and cross my arms across my chest. He sighs and says, "Look. You don't have to stay long. I invited the film club member to come here so we can work on it now."

"Thank you. If that was the only reason you brought me here," I say looking around. The doorbell rings. He goes to answer it. I have to say..his logic isn't so bad. I was freaking out because we had to do this so he decided to get it over with as soon as possible. I look towards the door.

"Hi. My name is Matthew. I will be assisting you with the assignment." He extends his hand. The man looks around Four's age. His eyes are so dark they look black, and they slant a little at the edges. He's tall, maybe the same height as Caleb, and his black hair is artfully tousled in the front, like he spent a lot of time making it look like he'd just rolled out of bed that way. Under his dark blue uniform he wears a plain black T-shirt and a black string around his throat. It shifts over his Adam's apple when he swallows. He shakes Four's hand and then mine.

"You look familiar. Are you Caleb's sister?" he asks looking me up and down. A scientific guess, I assume.

"Yeah. Do you know him?" I ask politely.

"He's a genius freak." he looks smug. Maybe this guy isn't so bad.

"I know," I reply smiling.

"Well, let's get to shooting," he says clapping his hands together. Four comes to stand beside me. Matthew takes out a sheet of paper.

"I read your song, and I know exactly what I want you two to do. I also hope you guys can forgive me..I know what happened earlier today," he says eyeing me. "Anyway, I know you guys are going to have trouble with it but it needs to be done."

"It's alright. We can handle it. Right, Tris?" he asks in a whisper so only I can hear. We stare at each other and I eventually nod without breaking contact.

"Nothing drastic will occur, but I was thinking that maybe we could use this house for a few of the scenes." Matthew silently asks for Four's permission.

"Yeah, it's no problem. What should be the first scene? I do remember that you had it all figured out yourself because you assumed we wouldn't want to spend more time together than necessary." Four asks looking at me. I continue staring back at him.

"I was thinking maybe it could open up with you two _sleeping_ in bed. _You_ will have a phone number written on your arm and she will wake up after and remember the fight you guys had. I think you guys can come up with what to do next. I'll set up and you guys can go change and get ready," Matthew says awkwardly.

We all go to the bedroom with me and Four leading and Matthew following. "Want my shirt?" Four asks quietly. "Sure," I reply back because I honestly don't have a better response conjured up. He chucks me his shirt and I go to the bathroom to change. I'm in denim jeans and I'm pretty sure that won't work for pajamas. Four's shirt is already a dress on me. It's his longest one I realize because a normal one would come just past my butt, but this one goes to the bottom of my knees. _Maybe he can be thoughtful._ I leave my hair as it is but right before I turn the knob of the bathroom to enter the bedroom [because his bathroom is in his bedroom which is totally unfair] I stop and listen to the conversation.

"...brother would be happy learning that she was one of the girls you used," Matthew says in a whisper.

"I don't care if I dissapoint him, really. We aren't the best of friends. And she isn't one of the girls I used," they're both whispering I realize.

"It explains why she hates you so much and doesn't feel comfortable here-"

"She hates me because I'm a manwhore."

"That explains the other reasons but it doesn't explain how she knows this place so well."

"It's because she _has_ been here before-"

"Ah-ha."

"Due to a party thrown here that she was dragged along to by her friends."

"Oh." I can just feel Four's smirk.

My phone then buzzes. I exit the bathroom and check it. It's a text from Ian:

_You owe me. I just got your parents to let you be with me once a week instead of a month. I expect you to be here Friday night. Another thing, I have permission to let you come stay with me anytime I want when they're not home. I basically have full custody over you when they're gone._

I instantly close my phone and stuff it in my bag.

"Should we get to shooting now?" Matthew asks looking through the camera.

"Yeah. Sure." I say. I put my bag near the door and curl into bed. Four comes in shortly after and wraps his arms around my hips. I press my back to his chest and snuggle into him.

"And..action!" Matthew calls. I stay asleep for a few seconds and then slowly open my eyes. I look back at Four-who has his head nustled in the crook of my neck-and kiss the top of his head. I then pretend to notice writing on his arm. I pick it up and start examining it. Four slowly wakes up, too, and once he realizes what I'm looking at he snatches his arm back. I sit up and he tries to pull me back down. I get up from the bed and he starts following. He tries to comfort me and feed me lies and I push him away. I can hear the music playing in the background and my eyes start swelling up with tears. He starts muttering my name and I start yelling profanities at him. I guess that part and what I'm saying is pretty accurate in real life.

"Cut!" Matthew calls. "That was perfect," me and Four start smirking at him. He starts talking again after absorbing our smug expressions, "the next scene will be shot tomorrow. I'll text you the details." We all exchange numbers and he leaves. Then it's just me and Four. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity and then I break apart. I get my stuff and go downstairs. He follows me.

"Keep the shirt." he calls after me.

"I was already going to," I smirk.

"Get out," he says playfully.

"Bitch," I mutter. He mutters it back.

* * *

_When I find Tobias late that night, he doesn't say anything; he just grabs my hand and pulls me toward the train tracks._

_He draws himself into a train car as it passes with bewildering ease and pulls me in after him. I fall against him, my cheek against his chest. His fingers slide down my arms, and he holds me by the elbows as the car bumps along the steel rails. I watch the glass building above the Dauntless compound shrink behind us._

_"What is it you need to tell me?" I shout over the cry of the wind._

_"Not yet," he says._

_He sinks to the floor and pulls me down with him, so he's sitting with his back against the wall and I'm facing him, my legs trailing to the side on the dusty floor. The wind pushes strands of my hair loose and tosses them over my face. He presses his palms to my face, his index fingers sliding behind my ears, and pulls my mouth to his._

_I hear the screech of the rails as the train slows, which means we must be nearing the middle of the city. The air is cold, but his lips are warm and so are his hands. He tilts his head and kisses the skin just beneath my jaw. I'm glad the air is so loud he can't hear me sigh._

_The train car wobbles, throwing off my balance, and I put my hand down to steady myself. A split second later I realize that my hand is on his hip. The bone presses into my palm. I should move it, but I don't want to. He told me once to be brave, and though I have stood still while knives spun toward my face and jumped off a roof, I never though I would need bravery in the small moments of my life. I do._

_I shift, swinging a leg over him so I sit on top of him, and with my heartbeat in my throat, I kiss him. He sits up straighter and I feel his hands on my shoulders. His fingers slide down my spine and a shiver follows them down to the small of my back. He unzips my jacket a few inches, and I press my hands to my legs to stop them from shaking. I should not be nervous. This is Tobias._

_Cold air slips across my bare skin. He pulls away and looks carefully at the tattoos just above my collarbone. His fingers brush over them, and he smiles._

_"Birds," he says. "Are they crows? I keep forgetting to ask."_

_I try to return his smile. "Ravens. One for each member of my family," I say. "You like them?" _

_He doesn't answer. He tugs me closer, pressing his lips to each bird in turn. I close my eyes. His touch is light, sensitive. A heavy, warm feeling, like spilling honey, fills my body, slowing my thoughts. He touches my cheek._

_"I hate to say this," he says, "but we have to get up now."_

I roll out of my bed from the repulsive dream and hit the floor with a thud. I don't know _why_ I keep having these nightmares. But this time, he wasn't "Four" for some reason. He was.."Tobias".? I know that's his real name. I figured that out..but it's not like me to have nightmares like this. And he seemed like a different person. The setting also seemed peculiar. Things that I didn't even do in real life...I supposedly _did_ do in the nightmare. Ugh. _It better stop soon._


	8. Chapter 8

It's almost Friday. But it's not. Because it's Thursday. Ha-ha.

I seriously sound like a pysochopath. Maybe I shall take the test.

Nope.

I decide on wearing the black lace tank top that ruined my life. Sad that it is one of my favorites. I put on black boots with the three embellishments on each side. I go downstairs and just head out to walk, skipping breakfast. My parents are back to the way they were before...yes, it upsets me; now stop that. Tomorrow night I have to go to Ian's house. I better get ready for the abuse. I have my gauze and everything else packed. The month is coming to an end which means my parents will be leaving soon. They already have their suitcases packed and are just waiting for the date when they board their plane to arrive. I've desperately been trying to grab their attention..and let's just say it isn't exactly working out the way I want it to. Anyway, back to walking. I'm silently _praying_ that Christina and Al..oh ya, _and Will_ are ready to forgive me. _How could someone so small and pathetic be so harmful and destructive? _It boggles my mind, I tell you.

* * *

I reach my locker and find Christina, Will, and Al. Except this time, they're not trying to sabotage me.

"Have you guys finally come to a conclusion?" I ask hopefully.

"You're something, you know that?" Now she's answering questions with questions.

"I didn't get an answer, you know that?" I smile at her.

"I was _really_ stupid to let something as dumb as competition get in the way of our _beautiful_ friendship. Even when I was wrong...you still were the one who begged _me_ for forgiveness. I'm sorry," she says with glassy puppy-dog eyes.

"It's alright. But you know..I never meant to steal your spotlight," I say wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"It was just jealousy, nothing much. And now that I know you can kick my ass at that, it's time for celebration," she says squealing in delight.

"No. Not shopping," I groan.

"Think of it as my friendship gift to you."

"Christina, now it just seems like you're back to hating me."

"I never _hated_ you..just jealousy," she says looking away. Now I feel bad for bringing it up.

"How was your time over at the dark side...with the devils," I grin mischieviously.

"Ehh. I prefer my best friend."

"_Please_ don't start going all sentimental on us," Will whines.

"Whatever. You guys owe her apologies too," Christina scolds. I wish she didn't bring that up. I'm just glad my friends are back.

They both mutter "sorrys" and Christina huffs in annoyance. I end up calming her down and head on over to math. On my way there Peter approaches me.

"Stiff, how was making out with Four? I mean, him having to carry you and then shoot a video with you where you two play lovers...that's got to be awful, well, for _him_," Peter snarkily says.

"Please stop insulting me, Peter. I know what I have to do already and I'm not in the mood to have to relive those moments," Four says coming out of nowhere.

"You both are sick," I roll my eyes.

"Surprised your friends came crawling back to you. They must be desperate," Peter smirks.

"I just don't get why they'd want _you_ over _us_. But, to face the truth, Christina did ask if she could still continue getting more of this," Four says running a hand down his chest. I gag.

"Aw, Four. I guess she doesn't prefer you. Maybe I can do the trick, huh?" Peter asks Four.

"Knock yourself out. I'm not going to even _try_ to figure out _why_ I won't do the trick, because it's obvious she's mental," Four says emotionless.

Next thing I know, Peter has me shoved against the wall with one hand pinning my arms above my head and the other is resting on my thigh. I bring my knee up and attack what better be the last thing on his list of shoving into me. While he's hunched over I run to math. Before I can make it though Four clings onto my shirt and pulls me back.

"I've been acting sweet this whole time for your sake. If you don't want to play nicely then maybe it's time I don't either. Got that, Stiff?" he hisses into my ear. I swallow and nod my head. Most of the time when Four is intimidating, I don't back down. I still don't, but I can't resist the shudder that goes down my spine this time. If you think about it, he _has_ been acting better than when we were in middle school. I'm not admitting it to him though. I'm still not gonna give him a bigger ego than he already has.

"Now get lost," he says quietly, though more generously.

I make my way to math and when I sit down I try avoiding his eyes as much as possible. A hand slaps down onto my desk making me look up.

"Beatrice Prior! What do you have to say for yourself?" Mr. Asshole demands.

"What did I do this time?" I ask tiredly.

"A phone call will be sent home." is all he says.

I start tracing the scar that is still there. I've been doing that a lot lately I've realized. I remember first getting it and acknowledging how _big_ of an _imperfection_ I am. One thing in my messed up life is back the original way it was...now if only the rest would. Some things never change, though.

* * *

Lunch and all my friends are back together again. It is a lovely scene.

"There are rumors that Tori will be taking us on a trip soon." Christina. Always up-to-date with the latest gossip.

"Zeke won't let me in on it. I heard it's a big deal and supposedly a surprise for the freshmen," Uri says through a mouthful of food.

"It's also tradition." I pitch in.

Everybody stares at me, wondering how the hell I even know what is going on..

"Tori was talking about it in class. Wasn't she?" I ask, but a little later realize that Four could've just been talking about that to Tori when I wasn't in on their conversation and she told him to tell me about it.

"Tris, this is _rumor_...or at least, not anymore, since Uriah confirmed it," Christina says snapping her fingers at me and then glancing toward Uri.

"But-" I stop mid-sentence in order to organize my thoughts. I guess I'll just ask Tori about it after class. "Never mind," I continue.

"What? What is it?" Christina tries pruding. I just shake my head.

* * *

Right when we enter Tori's classroom I walk over to her and tell her to remind me that we need to talk later; she just nods her head. I sit down with everybody else and notice how Mar and Lynn have been extremely quiet ever since we all reunited. I'll have to ask them about that later.

"Okay, I don't really have anything planned for today since your only assignment is..you know," Tori says once everyone has entered. At the end of her statement, I caught her eyeing me. Even without seeing her it was obvious _who_ she was referring to. "So you guys can go ahead and discuss more details about your project." Next thing I know Four is sitting right next to me.

"Let's get this over with, shall we? Before, of course, you space out," he says.

"I'd love that," I reply scrunching my nose. "But, then again, there isn't really much to plan. After all, Matthew has it all done and under control." Speaking of Matthew, he still hasn't sent any text yet. Hm, maybe he forgot?

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own ideas," he replies. I scoff. "And what exactly do you have in mind?" I ask skeptically.

"We should shoot bed scenes." Do I really have to look for the smirk when it's already evident in his suggestion?

"I thought I could be your 'twelve-year-old' sister." He looks at me and says, "Yes, you can. But hey, I don't think the other girls would mind." For some reason, I think back to what he said earlier about Chris and him. I know it can't be true.

"Could you be more cocky?" I ask dully. He smirks. "Well, since you're obviously not cooperating, what do you want to do?"

"Get the hell away from you."

"Then why don't you?"

"This is where I was sitting. You came here, you can go somewhere else."

"Don't you have legs, or do I need to carry you?" Now he's annoyed...but I couldn't care less.

"I never asked for you to carry me," I shoot. He huffs and mutters "pipsqueak" under his breath. Yup, the name is definitely back. "Go away, Four," I say tired. He doesn't say anything else, just walks back to where he came from. Nita is there waiting for him, and when he comes she goes to sit in his lap and start kissing his neck. He doesn't exactly push her away, but he doesn't keep her close either. She ends up sitting on a chair across from him, and being the girl she is, she keeps whining, trying to get back on top of him. He keeps declining and makes her settle for holding his hand. My friends come closer to me now that Four is gone.

Everybody is discussing since they don't have amazing directors like Matthew. I really owe it to him...even if he totally forgot about our shoot. I'm not crushing on him or anything, but he really doesn't seem that bad. Finally, the bell rings, signaling the end of the period. I grab my stuff and head over to Tori. Everybody else filters out due to having classes, but I really wouldn't care being late to class for something like what I'm going to do. My curiosity just takes over. But it's not like I have to actually picture the alternative of being late to class..after all, I have a free period and then dismissal. Nothing to stop me.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I'm pretty sure she has a decent idea of what I have in mind. "Your 'tradition'." She looks shocked for a moment that I actually knew about it and then it seems as if something hits her and she straightens herself out and places a...smirk?..on her face. I'm not grasping the situation anymore. Why was she surprised that I knew? Didn't she tell Four to tell me? And why does she have a smirk plastered onto her face? "So, I see Four told you when I specifically told him not to," she says surprising me. "Is that what you guys were talking about when I wasn't present?" I ask with realization striking my face.

"He asked and of course I said no because it's supposed to be a surprise. I knew he was going to do it anyway but it was still worth a chance." She says with a sigh.

"He didn't spill much, just that there was a trip coming up," I don't know why I'm defending him. Probably because I wouldn't want _anyone_ to get in trouble because of me. "Why did he tell _me_ though?" I ask confused. She just smirks. "Tori, tell me," I whine.

"Maybe one day you'll find out, well, _hopefully_, you will," she says, evasiveness spilling her entire tone. "Fine. Don't tell me. Bai." I grab my things but once I get to the door Tori shouts, "Don't tell anyone, but we're playing 'Capture the Flag'..that's also all you're getting told, sweetheart."

I'm not content _at all_ with the extra bit of information she decided to spare me, but I must admit that it did help. Especially the fact that she chose _me_ to give information. Some people know it about the trip through rumors and some have older siblings that reluctantly spill it...but me, I was told and given the task of the trip _by the teacher herself. _Okay so maybe Four spilled some of it..Tori did a lot too.

* * *

After my trek from school, I plop down on the couch and start eating the carton of ice cream. I turn on the tv and start watching "The Vampire Diaries". It's so heartbreaking that Elena won't be returning in the series due to Nina Dobrev's departure. They're showing a marathon of the show and it ends right when my basketball game starts. Today, I think, it's Miami Heat against Boston Celtics. Yes, I live in Chicago and they're my favorite basketball team [the Chicago Bulls], but I do have second favorites just like _everybody_ else and my second favorite would have to be Miami Heat. Why did Lebron leave, why? Michael Jordan retired, too. To be honest, it's like these legendary basketball players are dissapearing by the second. Next thing you know, Kobe Bryant will be playing for Heat right before he retires. I mean, did you see how many teams Shaquille O'Neal played for? Shaq and Dwayne were playing side by side when Heat won the 2006 championships.

Ya, ya, ya. I must have a part of me that was injected with a _y_ chromosone. But a girl likes sports, big deal. It's not _that_ big of a guy's thing. And if I do say so myself, I'm just as good at playing it as watching it..and I can kick a guy's ass at it too. I remember how it used to be our thing-my dad and I. He even got me my first jersey. It was a Michael Jordan one and it was signed.

_I miss those days._

I still have the jersey hung up in my closet. Most people would have it hung in their room, but sometimes I like to wear it so..  
+++

I wake up from a nap that I wasn't aware I was performing. _How ironic? _Once I open my eyes I see my family hovering over me. I rub my eyes and groggily get up. "What time is it? How long was I out?" I ask with a yawn at the end. "Get up and go to your room, now," my father demands. Caleb goes and sits on another part of the couch and turns on the tv.

"No offense, Bea, but can you get the hell out? We're going to watch our tv now and it's kinda hard to do with you hogging the couch," Caleb smiles at me, though I know he has _only_ disapointment for me. "Of course," I mumble. I head upstairs and enter my room. I shut the door and stay in my own little bubble trying not to pay attention to reality. I realize a little later that I feel uncomfortable and when I look down I see that I'm still in my school clothes which surprises me. I usually get out of them as soon as possible due to wanting to relish in the comfort of my pajamas. I have black sweatpants and a black shirt. Yes, I like black clothing a lot. Don't judge. Some people have the same problem as me in school, so I'm not alone. I will sometimes change into shorts right before bed and a sweatshirt or jersey or whatever. I'm boring myself with this wardrobe talk. Not Christina.

Anyway, if at the moment I prefer more-revealing clothing such as shorts or tank tops I will change right before bed. I don't feel comfortable walking around like that even in the comfort of my own home. Well, I really just don't feel comfortable wearing that in front of others, including my family. But hey, those are just my modesty issues. I know I put a brave face when I need to..like with that dare [I can't stop the shudder that goes through me after the thought]...but I'm still terrible at this kind of stuff. I take my shirt off for Ian's abusive ways, that's it. And my skin ends up being covered with blood anyway so it doesn't really matter. I wouldn't want the same for my shirt. Even the kissing, though, I just let Four lead and I followed suit. I guess I did pretty well, but don't let that fool you. I'm the biggest amateur there is. If I have to do it again, I'll fail miserably because that _had_ to be luck that allowed me to do _so_ well.

After I'm done changing into my pajamas, I decide to just lay in my bed and wait around for sleep to catch me. I stare at the ceiling and wonder if this is how high school is supposed to be. Or is it just this way for me? I find out my enemy and I get beat usually and don't have the best families. My friends dump me for absolutely no reason to just come running back wishing for forgiveness-some more than others-and I'm so desperate to have them back I let them back in without a second thought. A wedge has been placed in our group because of me. Mar and Lynn are acting unusual. I'm getting special treatment with one teacher and the other is treating me like shit. Four has stayed with the same girl for a pretty long time now [well for him]. And Zeke and Shauna seem to be hitting it off ever since the day after she was sitting on Four's lap. Ugh. So many things..

_What does the rest of my life hold?_


	9. Chapter 9

It's Friday and I'm currently at school. Me and my friends are at my locker all talking because we have nothing better to do. We all arrived a half hour before school officially started.._even Uriah_...which seriously leaves me suspicious. Did Mar stay over at his house or something and give him a responsibility check? Ehh, I guess it doesn't really matter.

"I can't stop thinking about the trip? Any ideas?" Christina asks. We all shake our heads and she groans. I'm so glad it's not _impossible_ to lie to Chris..just incredibly hard. "Not even you, Uriah?"

He shakes his head no. "I'm afraid Zeke _still_ isn't opening up to me." He just sighs. I start biting my cheek. I know what we're doing...but that's it. Nothing much. I stop the action immediately before Chris could take notice. I check the time. Just a few more minutes left..."I'll see you guys later. I need to head to class." I say. They nod their heads at me.

I start walking to class when I smell perfume. So much it's just repulsive. I'm shoved into the girls' bathroom and I see Nita, Molly, and Lauren. _Of course_.

"Four is mine, honey. 'Bout time you back off," Nita screeches. I stick my tongue out at her. _Just teasing._

"Woah woah woah. Since when is he yours?" Lauren hisses. _And just like that my teasing is forgotten._

"He's mine, bitches," Molly shouts at them. _How surprising it is that they all forgot the task at hand to fight about the manwhore and who he's fucking next? _"Wait, we're getting off topic." _Whoops! Spoke too soon..guess Molly does have a brain. _

They all turn their attention towards me and inch closer. I warily take a step back to give me time to analyze the situation. After I'm done, I come up with my obvious conclusion. _They're going to beat me to a pulp. _They take off their heels and shove me into a stall. They all come at me at the same time, one digging the heel into my skin, another beating me with the shoe..and somehow it actually hurts. I regain my senses and wait for the right moment. Once I'm sure it's come [hence one of the shoes' heels broke] I jump up while they're distracted and shove past them out of the bathroom. I have bruises and they're hurting like a bitch right now but I continue running off of pure adrenaline. I make it to math and once I sit down, the bell rings. I silently mutter a prayer of thanks. The teacher enters and doesn't even bother with a greeting. He looks around the room and seems to notice his "little princess" isn't here. He looks at me instantly. "Beatrice? Care to explain where my daughter is?"

"Honestly, sir, I have no idea," I reply shrugging. He raises an eyebrow. Just then, Nita and her minions burst through the door.

"That...little...bitch...," she pants. "made...me run..in...heels...around the entire...school."

"Why were you chasing her around the school? What did she do?" the teacher ask, panic and fury battling within him. _Yup, just blame me._

"Your daughter tried to pummel me to death in a bathroom for hating Four," I smirk and say before she can come up with one of her lame excuses.

"You were so trying to steal him from me," she accuses, pointing her index finger at me.

"He was never yours," Lauren hisses under her breath quietly. Though, not quiet enough because Nita obviously heard her, judging from the screech that came from her lips. "In your dreams, fake ass." _I sense a fight coming on.. _

"He was once mine, ya'know." Molly challenges. "Ya, how do you know he still isn't ours? Dating mutiple girls and yet satisfying them equally to have them come running back isn't exactly past him." Now Lauren is defending. I take a glance at Four and see him smirking as if he was the whole time (which he probably was) but before my gaze shifts back to the bitches, he catches me staring. He winks at me. The action sends a sense of déjà vu through me. I quickly look away. You know what'd be fun? If I were to go over to him and kiss him just to piss them off even more. Too bad my hatred and inexperience win so I stay planted in my seat. The bitches are still arguing over Four and Mr. Asshole is trying to calm them down, but I realize Nita is staring at me. She growls, making me assume that she saw Four and my exchange. Mr. Asshole sees she's not arguing anymore and looks at her. Once he does, he follows her gaze to me. "Everybody sit. We can deal with this later," he says motioning with his hands.

They all sit down, pay no attention, and wait for the drama to come. _Figures_. Once class is finished the teacher decides he'd rather deal with it Monday so he lets everyone go. I don't believe him at all...he's probably just trying to come up with a valid excuse with his daughter regarding why I should be in trouble.

* * *

I can see the teacher in French seriously wanting this trip she's been talking about to happen...oh well. I'm at lunch and we are all discussing ideas for what to do later today.

"How about we go to the swimming pool?" I suggest. They all agree. "Let's meet at my house," Uri says. "Once school is finished." We all say okay and they continue talking again. I notice Lynn and Mar still not talking. _Ugh. How'd I forget to ask them about it?_

I hope I remember today.

"Anyway, we're hosting a party tonight so after the pool you guys can come to my house to freshen up and get ready and stuff..." Uriah awkwardly says. I ponder it for a second. I don't think I can go. After all, I have that meeting with hell [Ian]. "Umm, I can't go anywhere tonight. I'm grounded." It's funny how easy lies can come to me at times.

"Trissy poooo," Uri whines. "How are you grounded but can come swimming with us?" Chrissy asks. I knew it'd be hard to convince her. "I'm grounded from parties. You know, after that last one?" I remind her. "You're still grounded?" she demands. I sadly nod my head. I must've played it well, though, for her to have actually believed me. She _is_ a lie detector. She takes after her Candor parents. Again, the town she lives in. Or district, I guess you could call it. I told you it was complicated.

"How about you change the date? When are you available, Tris? I'm not letting you get out of a makeover that easily," Chris smirks. As long as she doesn't find out about the abuse I've been going through, and how it has only gotten worse over time. "I guess..." I check over dates in my head and decide on just getting this over with next week. So what if it costs me an extra beating? It's better than the pity I'd receive if my secret were to be told. "...next week," I conclude.

"Well then, I better hurry up and tell Zeke." I wonder why Uri looks so distraught. Then it occurs to me...but obviously not Will, who asks, "What are you in a hurry for?"

"Hehe. Well, remember back in middle school how we had this unique, yet popular idea of an invitation?" Will nods his head at him, urging him to continue. _Wow. For a smart guy, he isn't really being smart._ "Ya," he says slowly, still not comprehending. Uriah sighs, "Well, Zeke will be delivering that 'invitation' soon." Realization finally crosses his face and he looks around the table. He sees us waiting with anxious expressions for him to have finally gotten it and his cheeks turn crimson. Chris leans toward him and kisses one of them. He grabs her hand and they're both left staring into each other's eyes. We all clear our throat in unison and once they've taken in their setting [a school cafeteria filled with students, not the bedroom] they look down in embarrassment. Our whole table erupts into laughter.

"All this lovesick-crap aside, Tris, may you escort me to the less-awesomer brother's table?" I smirk at Uriah. It's funny seeing how he actually says words such as awesomer or pansycake.. "Why me?" I ask because I honestly am curious. "You and Four have a thing," he replies back simply. "Excuse me?" I screech. "Woah there, Trissy, I didn't mean it like that. More of...I don't know. I wouldn't consider you guys frenemies, but your hate thing _is_ interesting." I just roll my eyes and follow him.

We get to their table and Uriah jumps on Zeke's back. Take into consideration that Zeke is sitting down, so instead of him being tackled to the floor, his nose almost breaks, but he composes himself before his nose and the table's edge make contact. "Who the hell is that?" he screeches. _They are so alike, I swear._ Well, once you get past the looks. He is slight and short and looks nothing like Uriah, apart from his coloring. On the other hand, Uriah is tall, with brown skin and dark eyes. Handsome. Still, I have no interest in either of them. "My name is Jeff," Uri stutters exactly like Channing Tatum did in "21 Jump Street". "Really? Because I would've guessed it was my idiot brother," he says confused. Then, after a few seconds, his expression returns back to the way it was. It was like he realized that it actually wasn't someone named "Jeff". And that probably is it. "Ya..um...Zeke? Can we throw it next week? Tris can't come tonight and mom is leaving for the weekend next week," Uriah says nervously. At the "Tris can't come tonight" part Four turns in his seat and looks up at me. _Why did Uriah have to mention that part? _"Sure sure," Zeke replies smoothly. "Why can't you come tonight?" Four narrows his eyes at me. I shrug. Obviously, that didn't satisfy him because he gets up from his seat and tugs my wrist, pushing through the crowd of bodies and leading me to a janitor's closet. He locks the door and leans against it, giving me room.

I just stare at him and he returns it. I sigh, "Are you going to say something or can I leave?" He looks at me and straightens up. "I was waiting for _you_ to say something, such as an explanation."

"And if I were to tell you that you weren't receiving one?" I snarkily say.

"I'm blocking the exit," he points with his thumb to the door behind him. "and I don't think you could push past me _that_ easily, if it isn't impossible."

I look him in the eye and start, "you already know why I can't. Can we stop now, please?" He doesn't say anything, just moves to stand beside me, leaving the door completely exposed. We both stare at each other, none of us moving to go. He starts to lean in but I remain where I am. I stand motionless, ready to accept his lips on mine though not wanting it. I finally get my senses returned and I clear my throat. "I've said a million times I'm not one of your sluts. When will you understand?" I have my hand on the doorknob and twist it. He lets me open the door and walk out, but he remains trailing behind. "I want to crush you. After all, you hate me and I want you to be affected by me like everyone else," he smirks. "You_ do know_ that it'll never happen as long as you're like this, right?" I raise an eyebrow at him. This man seriously needs to make up his mind...he's usually saying how he_ isn't_ trying to break me. _I guess his intentions changed, or he was lying._ "Yes, I do. Still doesn't hurt to try, though." I take his wrist and check the watch. It's almost time for music, might as well just go there instead of lunch and then there. He must realize that too because he starts leading the way there. It's not that I don't know how to get there [even if I don't know it that well], it's the fact that his legs are longer than mine which causes him to be faster. We reach the classroom and sit down in our seats, waiting for the others. Tori seems genuinely surprised at us entering together, totally ignoring the fact that we aren't sitting close or fraternizing, and has a smirk on her face. I know she's my favorite teacher and all but I really want to smack that smirk off her face. When it comes to Four, there really aren't limits. You could be the president and I'd smack you if you tried to say something like us being a cute couple or we totally like each other or whatever. _Seriously, people need to stop with their false accusations._ It seems as if Four was thinking the same thing because the words that leave his mouth are, "Will you please stop with that smirk?" He doesn't ask it rudely or politely, and somehow not one over the other. It seems as if the rudeness and politeness are balanced. She realizes we're uncomfortable with it and stops it immediately. Just then, the bell rings and students start rushing into the classroom. Once Uri comes he pulls my hand and leads me away from the others to ask, "what happened?" I shake my head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. But thank you, for coming to ask me...especially in private." He tells me that it was no problem and that's what friends are for and I give him a nice, lingering hug to show my gratitude. We go back to our seats and sit down. "What were you guys doing?" Will asks. "We just needed to discuss something," Uriah says with a smile and arm around Marlene. For some reason, I look back at Four and bite my lip. I don't know why I'm doing this, I just know that I am. I see Nita nuzzled into him and he doesn't seem to be paying me any attention. I slump back in my chair and look at Tori. She seems to have seen what I've done and gives me a wary look. Nevertheless, she continues with her class.

"I am just here to inform you that Art will be happening next week. I thought for today, we could just do what we usually do...sing a bunch of songs," she chuckles at the end. "So I don't think Al went before so he's up." She retreats back to her desk, providing Al with the space he'd probably want. He grudgingly gets up from his seat, draping his feet across the floor, and he finally makes it to the center. He thinks for a second and then starts singing "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo.

_Jason_  
_Jason Derulo_  
_Get jazzy on it_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_I'm that flight that you get on, international_  
_First class seat on my lap girl, riding comfortable_

_'Cause I know what the girl them need,_  
_New York to Haiti_  
_I got lipstick stamps on my passport,_  
_You make it hard to leave_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_But your booty don't need explaining_  
_All I really need to understand is_  
_When you talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Get jazzy on it_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_You know the words to my songs_  
_No habla inglés_  
_Our conversations ain't long_  
_But you know what is_

_I know what the girl them want,_  
_London to Taiwan_  
_I got lipstick stamps on my passport_  
_I think I need a new one_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_But your booty don't need explaining_  
_All I really need to understand is_  
_When you talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_Uno, met your friend in Rio_  
_Dos, she was all on me-o_  
_Tres, we can ménage à three though_  
_Quatro, ooh (2 Chainz!)_

_[2 Chainz:]_  
_Dos Cadenas, close to genius_  
_Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis_  
_Gilbert Arenas, guns on deck_  
_Chest to chest, tongue on neck_  
_International oral sex_  
_Every picture I take, I pose a threat_  
_Bought a jet, what do you expect?_  
_Her pussy's so good I bought her a pet_  
_Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it_  
_Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty"_  
_Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it_  
_Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty"_

_[Jason Derulo:]_  
_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_But your booty don't need explaining_  
_All I really need to understand is_  
_When you talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me (you you you)_  
_Talk dirty to me (yeah yeah)_  
_Talk dirty to me (talk to me)_  
_Talk dirty to me (oh yeah)_  
_Get jazzy on it_

_What? I don't understand!_

I can't help but notice how most of the time he was looking at me. I see others have noticed as well. I don't know what expression I have on right now, but let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if it conveyed horrified and pure terror. Al smirks and then winks at me and goes back to his seat. I sit there, not moving an inch. My brain isn't processing data either like it usually does. Tori clears her throat but I don't change. "From now on, I'd appreciate it if you actually picked appropriate songs, this is a _school_...and don't freak people out." Many people chuckle at her choice of words but I remain motionless. "I'd also like to say that um...class is dismissed. Feel free to use the extra time for whatever you please _as long as it is within school regulations._ Four? Do you mind?" He comes toward me and wraps me in his arms like last time. I'm carried to his car and he does exactly what he did last time, with the seatbelts and laying me down in the backseat. I grab his arm before he goes away and he stops and looks at me. "I feel like puking." He scrambles for things through the trunk after my revelation and brings a bucket. He places it right next to my head on the floor so I can just turn and vomit. He stares at me for a second and then sighs. He crouches near my head and says, "I'm sorry. I know we hate each other but this is one of those exceptions where I feel bad for you. You shouldn't have to go through that." He's caressing my hair and I'm just staring at him. He leans over me and kisses my forehead. When he tries to linger there, I shove him away. "Then what _should_ I have to go through?" I didn't realize my voice had become raspy. "I'm just trying to say that I hate you but that...that was just awful. I mean, even _I_ was creeped out. What _happened_ to him? I don't remember Al being this way during your sixth grade. When did he become a pedophile?" he shakes his head, as if he's trying to rid his mind of the memories. "Of course. I'm a child to you," I roll my eyes. He seems amused now, "Yes, you are. And I have to say I cannot wait to see you going through adolescence." I grumble, "just start driving." He chuckles but gets in the driver's seat.

While we're driving, it seems as if I just become even more nauseous. But there's nothing in my stomach to throw up, other than acid. "Why was he like that with you?" Great. Now he's trying to break the silence I tried so hard to mantain. I'm keeping it my way, I lock my lips and throw away the key. "Tris?" he asks annoyed. He keeps repeating my name till he seems exasperated by it. "Dammit Tris," and he swerves so hard even all of my body lurches forward...and I have three seatbelts wrapped around it. "What the fuck, Four? You could've gotten us killed," I yell at him, unbuckling my seatbelts. I climb out of the car and follow him. He stopped the car on the side of the road and got out. "Well it doesn't help that you were distracting me," he fires back. "Well maybe you should stop worrying about my personal life."

"That'd definitely make mine _much_ easier."

"You think I signed up for an annoying, oversized ego maniac named Four?"

"Would you just shut up for once?"

"After you stop being a dick I actually _might_ consider it."

"You're acting as if I signed up for a blabbermouth Tris who's always getting herself into trouble requiring me to get her out."

"Is that really how you see it?! If it is, then can I just say? You are a _moron_."

He groans but stops fighting with me. Ha. I got the last word. He goes back to his car and opens the driver's side. Before he goes in, he looks at me expectantly and arches an eyebrow. "How do I know you won't get me killed?" I ask outraged. He looks at me with a bored expression that keeps getting angrier by the second. I walk to the passenger seat and get settled into it. I remember I'm going to Ian's so I give him a different address. He sighs but complies. The rest of the drive just ticked by the seconds in an unbroken silence.

* * *

Because Four dropped me off at Ian's and he wasn't home, I have to walk to the pool where I'm meeting up with my friends. I'm currently in my bathing suit which consists of shorts and a tank top. I told you I was modest. When I get there I see Chris and Will on a beach chair, applying sunscreen to each others' backs. All the girls, excluding me and Lynn of course, are wearing bikinis. Even if I didn't have a modesty problem, I still wouldn't be able to wear them. After all, I have to adjust my tank top to make sure it doesn't show anything. Lynn isn't wearing a bathing suit, she's just in shorts and a regular baggy shirt. I go to a chair and put my stuff down on it. I then proceed to the pool and start checking it out, the temperature, way its built, all that bullshit. And Uri must've noticed too because next thing I know I'm falling face first into the welcoming waters. When I resurface, I see him sticking his tongue out at me and offering me a hand. I take it and pull him in after me. The rest notice and start jumping into the pool alongside us. Some are even doing cannonballs. We all start fooling around, especially with the pool toys Uri brought. We start throwing the ball back and forth and I grab one of those pool beds and start relaxing. It ends too soon though, because most of them are underwater and they flip me over. I then grab some pool noodles and toss one to Uri.

"I challenge you to a duel for the beloved Popo's hand," I announce in a weird accent. If you didn't know Popo is Uri and Zeke's stuffed monkey. We've all grown to love him.

"May the winner, live," he says back in the same accent.

"...and the loser, die," I finish for him.

We then start jousting while the others watch intently, anticipating who will win.

He has strength but I have strategy, and we both have speed, which means we are balanced which complicates things. We narrow down the rules to make it easier and decide on if we can jab to the heart then the person who was jabbed dies and loses while their opponent wins and lives. Seems simple enough. In fact, quite like fencing.

I've already slit his throat 3 times and jabbed my sword right through his heart 6 times. He keeps complaining saying I cheated and then demands he gets a rematch.

"Baby, you're dead. You can't have anymore rematches if you aren't alive," Mar soothes him.

"Surrender," I yell.

"Never," is his reply, and it is not a smart one.

I get him in the heart and slit his throat and Mar threatens him that if he asks for another rematch _she_ will be the one slitting the throats and stabbing hearts. After hearing that, he quickly closes his mouth and composes himself.

"Take care of him," he tells me when he's handing him to me. He also pretends to cry.

"Oh. Stop being a baby, you can keep Popo," I tease him.

His eyes light up, "thank you so much, Tris."

* * *

"Who was that boy? Is he your boyfriend? Have you _already_ become the slut you were meant to be?" Ian asks. So far, I haven't been answering his questions like he wanted me to, so I've been getting extra beatings. They're all still equally as horrible, though. "I told you. It was a dare," I croak out. "Nonsense," he mutters. _Another whip._ "Tell me the truth." I can barely speak with the monstrous sensations going through me. _Another whip._ "Are you going to answer me, you little piece of shit?"_ Another whip._ I can feel my hold on consciousness just slipping away, though it's felt this way for the past fifteen minutes. _Or so it feels that way. _I do not beg. I will not. I shall receive my justice one day. _Another whip. Another whip. Another whip._

As I'm dealing with this, I can't help that one thought that enters my mind:

_Can I actually live like this for the rest of however long?_


	10. Chapter 10

I wake up from my unconscious state at midnight. I'm spending the weekend with him so might as well get comfortable. I decide that I'm not that tired, even if I've only been out for about 2 hours. I look into my bag for my gauze and everything else I'll need and start applying them to myself. I get ready and put on some sweatpants and a tank top. My hair is tied up into a high ponytail and I leave the house and get ready for my jog. I have nothing better to do other than go around town. My phone is with me just in case, though. I jog up and down streets and stop once I reach the hub. It's where my dad works. My mom works for a volunteer agency. They're both in the government. I decide to enter the building and explore because I can never get much of a chance to do that when I'm here with my parents. I go to the top floor and see people rushing past me, not caring whether my attire totally differs from theirs. I have this certain spot I go to here that I found with my brother when we snuck out of our parents' hold one day. We were five back then. I remember it so vividly.

_"Caleb, don't you wonder what secrets await us in their work?" I ask my puny excuse of a brother. Haha, puny is a funny word. Puny. Puny, puny, puny. He just grunts, "Beatrice. We've already discussed this. There is nothing for them to hide." I cross my arms over my chest and pout. I don't like it when my brother chastises me._

_"They're always being so discreet and secretive about those things. Don't you ever get curious as to what would trigger their vagueness? Mommy and daddy never give us an actual explanation on their jobs. They always give us the 'well, your mommy works as a volunteer to help the city and its people and I work in the council with the same purpose your mommy has'. Daddy's always using that explanation, no other one. Let's just explore this one time and if we find nothing, I'll forget about it." I have to pronounce the complicacted words slowly. Stupid Caleb and his smarty-pants. I truly do believe he owns a pair, no matter how many times I'm told they're illogical, it still confuses me that a five-year-old is a genius._

_"Promise?" I nod my head and keep my fingers crossed behind my back. He might be smart but that doesn't mean he's caught onto all of my "shenanigans" as he calls them. "Fine. I'll help. We need to plan so we can get out of their grip, figuratively of course." I look at him with a confused expression. "Caleb, would you stop befuddling me? Some of us actually act our age."_

_He chuckles, "No offense, lil sis, but I'm pretty sure you meant to say bewilder instead of befuddle. And there's nothing wrong with being ahead of the others." I just scoff. "Anyway, what should we do for the plan? Hurry up and think, we'll be leaving any minute now." I follow his instructions and think hard. Then it hits me, "bathroom. I can say I need to go to the bathroom when mommy and daddy are discussing something important...and then a few minutes later, you use the same excuse." He gives me a high five. "I thought you act your age. And you look really adorable when you're thinking." I stick my tongue out at him. "It's all because of you. I can't act my age fully because of you." He bops my nose._

_"Caleb! Beatrice! Time to go," mommy shouts from downstairs. I rush down them to be met with both of my parents smiling down at me. That still doesn't mean I didn't notice how they were staring at each other right before I came into their view. It was a look of pure love, which makes me want to puke and swoon at the same time. Funny, huh? Daddy picks me up and blows into my neck making a funny sound I giggle at while mommy smiles at us and kisses my cheek. Caleb comes downstairs and insists on just holding mommy's hand instead of being carried. She laughs at his response everytime she tries something and he declines. It's like the Tom cat saying "no no no". Daddy marvels at mommy laughing. I can tell by his face when he looks at her when she's like that. I'll admit, she does have a beautiful laugh._

_We make in into the car and drive all the way to the hub. Once we get there we wait a couple of minutes and finally, a knowing glance is shared between us. We nod at each other and I ask to go to the bathroom. I'm granted permission and wait for Caleb to come. He finally arrives and we start looking around for things. Anything, really. We were about to give up when we spotted a dead end with a window. It was beautiful. We started running towards it and I noticed that where someone would sit, the cushions were awfully slumped. I took them off and lifted the top of the window seat. Me and Caleb both gasped. I looked up at him and while I was looking, I saw a very narrow passage behind him, proving this isn't a dead end. It was so narrow that someone would have to be skinny to enter it, and they'd still be forced to enter it sideways. Of course, I wouldn't have trouble with it. I pointed behind him and he stood there in...astonishment? Yup, that's the word. He motioned me towards it but I was already making my way there and he was prepared to go inside the window seat. We specifically picked the places for each other that would work. I'm the skinnier one. We were just about to enter..up until we heard a "Beatrice?". We both immediately sprung out of the spots and went towards the voice. _

_"Beatrice? Caleb? What are you doing?" Marcus asked us, kneeling down to our height. He seems crabby but so sweet, somehow at the same time. I've never known him not to be a good man. Him and my dad are close. After me and Caleb are done trudging towards him, we stop right in front of him and warily say, "Nothingggg" at the same time. We look at each other and laugh. He looks us up and down. "Well, shall we get you back to your parents?" He doesn't wait for a response so we don't give him one, just follow him. I know judging from the way he is right now, he seems strict, but trust me, he can be so silly with us sometimes. _

I snap out of my daze once I get there. I can still fit through the narrow passage, but Caleb and I made sure to explore the places the time we came after the time we discovered it. We weren't sure if we'd be able fit through them anymore so he insisted that the logical thing to do would be to explore them soon. I really miss those times. I can't believe Marcus would do such a thing though. I wonder when he started. He seemed so silly and playful when we were kids. I have to admit though...a beating would probably be good for Four, but only once in a while when he's really reached his limit. After all, he is a dick...but not even dicks deserve beatings like _that_. The fucktard needs to back off though. Like, seriously, he keeps doing all this damn sweet stuff because he expects something in return from me or for me to fall for him so he can break my heart like he's done to every other girl. I'm not letting all those kind things [which is very little] get to me. He has found one girl who seems tough to break and I'm not letting him complete the task. _If only he'd realize that..._

After turning multiple halls, I finally decide that I better get on with my jog. I exit the building and start running again. I reach the lima bean in Millennium Park just a few minutes after. This has always been an interesting sight to me. Caleb and I used to always play here.

_"Bea! Hurry up!" Caleb shouts which makes me stop dead in my tracks. I stare at him shocked. "Bea?" I quirk my three-year-old eyebrow at him. His birthday has already passed so he's currently four. "Oh ya. I forgot to tell you. I found a nickname for you. There's also 'Bumble Bea'." I narrow my eyes at him, then roll them. "Do you not like it? I was telling mom and dad it and they seemed to love it." I gape at him. "You told mommy and daddy before telling me my own nickname? And since when do you use nicknames?" He shrugs and says, "it just popped into my head one day. No biggie." I momentarily think about it and then just go back to running with him._

_We reach the bean and start gaping at it. "Bet you can't catch me!" he sticks his tongue out at me. I accept his challenge by running after him. The only problem: he has longer legs than me which causes me to trail a little behind. But, luckily, for me, I have a lot of energy in my system so after 3 laps around the bean, I tag him. He stops running in his direction and goes the opposite way, catching me. I giggle and while I'm running to stall, I think of a plan. I keep getting distracted, though, by the urge to climb the metal structure. Finally, it dawns on me that that is exactly what I should do. I start climbing the outside of it and once he actually notices what I mean to do, he huffs in response. _

_"Beatrice! Get down from there! You aren't allowed to do that!" I look at him confused. "Why not?" He grunts. "That isn't fair. And there may not be a rule about climbing structures but I'm pretty sure it is strictly frowned upon." I start to get down, upset. When I'm almost down, he tries to tag me. I start to climb down and run around just to butter him up. Once I think he's pretty tense, I run to the inside of the bean and start scaling it. This one is a little harder I'll admit, but I'm determined enough to make it, and I do. The outside is like climbing jungle gyms. The inside is like climbing the underside of a roller coaster. You only have one thing to cling to, and if you can't...well, that isn't an option. "Beatrice! That still is unfair. You can't do that," Caleb whines. "Admit it, Caleb. I win." He huffs and then we hear noise outside. "Bumble Bea? Caleb? Where are you?" I hear my daddy shout. Caleb's face lights up and he immediately runs to them. But it wasn't the usual Caleb-light-up face, it had an obvious batch of mischievousness in it. Anyone could've caught it..or been able to tell what Caleb was planning on doing. I get down so quickly I'm jostled by it but I still keep moving. I start running after him and he finally gets to my parents. You can see my parents' face light up a little more the second they see the both of us. I'm so close to him I jump on his back and end up almost tackling him. He composes himself before he hits the ground though. All I think of that is: that was a letdown. _

_"Mommy! Daddy!" I squeal to make sure they're in their good mood. My parents hold out their arms and I run into them after hopping down from Caleb. My mom starts tickling me and I giggle. She lifts me up and starts to carry me. I cling to her like she is my support line. "You guys should know what Beatrice was doing. She was climbing the bean." I knew Caleb would be a tattle-tell. Honestly, when is he not? _

_My parents both turn their gaze onto me and I just smile at them innocently. I cross my eyes and make a horse gesture with my mouth. They laugh and ask me smiling, "Seriously, did you actually do that?" I nod my head. "Why?" my mother asks still smiling. "It seemed intrigeeying," I reply back which earns a round of laughter from them. I start getting mad. Why are they laughing? "Oh baby, you're pouting!" My dad says which earns me even more laughter. I stop immediately and make sure to get mad, this time without pouting. "Sorry baby..it's just what you said, really." My mother says gently. "The word is 'intriguing' Bea," Caleb points out. Ugh, why does he always have to be a smarty-pants? I put on my annoyed expression and when a piece of hair falls into my face, I blow it away. They all laugh again and mommy holds me tighter. Daddy and Caleb come to hug us tightly, too. _

It really is funny how smart Caleb was back then. After staring at this structure for God knows how long, I decide to continue with my jog throughout Millennium Park. As I'm jogging, I notice two students from my school. Edward and Myra sit on a bench so close they bump elbows with the slightest movement. Myra pauses whatever she was doing to kiss Edward. I watch them carefully. I've only seen a few kisses in my life.

Edward turns his head and presses his lips to Myra's. Air hisses between my teeth, and I look away. Part of me waits for them to be scolded. Another part wonders, with a touch of desperation, what it would feel like to have someone's lips against mine. A _real_ kiss. Not the cheap truth-or-dare one. I shake my head at the thought. No one would ever be able to love their twelve-year-old little sister.

As painful as it is, because I know we won't be able to get back to the way we were, it was also nice to take this stroll down memory lane. I check my watch and see that it's 3:15 AM. I'm about to turn back but then something catches my eye. I look around and realize that there are a bunch of couples from my school here at this time. The one that sticks out the most to me though, is Caleb and a girl I believe lives right next door. I realize after a few seconds that the girl is Susan, one of my childhood friends. We still are. I can't wait to tell Robert about this. For the past year we've been sending signals to each other when we notice Abnegation flirtatious behavior going on between them. I wonder if he's here. If I'm the only one who doesn't know about this. I start walking towards them. Once I approach I clear my throat. "Hey Susan, Caleb." They look up at my voice and it seems as if horror strikes their eyes. "Hey look! The Stiff is here!" I search for who made the sound and my gaze settles on Peter. "Oh and look...she's all battered and bruised!" he starts smirking now. It just occured to me that I'm only in a tank top and sweatpants that aren't doing a great job of covering my abused self. My scars aren't showing so much but my bruises are a little more visible...and don't let me get started on the gauze that just proves their point even more. I start to run through the crowd which is really hard, especially when people keep trying to block my way. A voice makes me stop though. "C'mon Peter. No need to criticize her even more. She's just a little girl." _Four_

"Where'd the Stiff get her bruises, though, Four?" He asks tentatively. He shrugs, "Stiff. She probably stood up for someone else and because she's so _stupid,_ she decided getting a beating would be better than actually beating the crap out of someone." He could've done worse is what I'm thinking. "I'm not so sure that's it, Four," Peter replies. "Why do you always have to target _her_? Why, Peter?" Four asks getting angry. "We both do it. What's gotten into you? Don't tell me you actually _like_ her." Four closes his eyes and starts to pinch the bridge of his nose. Nita, Molly, and Lauren are trying to comfort him by attempting rubbing his arms soothingly...but because they're competitive bitches, they end up going so fast with it that it's most likely irritating. Four proves my point correct when he pushes them off him. He takes a moment to reply, "I do not like her, Peter. But I've realized: why the hell are we wasting time with her? Most of the time I don't mind, it's quite amusing actually, but there are times where I don't want anything to do with that bitch. Now is a good time to have some fun, why are you letting her get in the way of it? Honestly, it seems as if _you_ like her, Peter." He concludes his statement with a bitter chuckle. Peter looks disgusted at what was just thrown towards him, and spits on the ground. "We both know that isn't it. I'd rather be dead than actually do something with _her_." _Man, these people couldn't have gotten more hurtful._

I start pushing my way through the crowd again while everyone just laughs. They just laugh. At who? Well, that seems pretty obvious. They just laugh at _me_. I know my tears may not be visible, but I also know that they're there. And they want to escape. I finally make it out and I start running, but not before I hear, "Great, Peter! You ruined the whole damn night. We could've all just ignored her and had a good time but now it'll keep popping into our heads. I _seriously_ hope you're happy." That sarcastic, hurtful remark causes me to run faster. And faster. And faster. I obviously didn't run fast enough because someone grabs my wrist and turns me around. Only one person I know does something quite like this. We meet eye-to-eye and I wish I could say that this surprises me, but it doesn't. I knew from the moment he did it. The person who's eyes I'm looking into is Four.


	11. Chapter 11

"What the hell do you want, _Four_?" I hiss his name between my teeth. He just scoffs and rolls his eyes. "...well?"

"Do you realize how reckless you can be? What made you think it was actually a good idea to just go in there especially in the shape you're in?" he interrogates me as if this is a parent-child conversation.

"I never said I thought it was a good idea."

He starts to pinch the bridge of his nose again. "Then why the hell did you do it?"

"I don't know. Something was going on there, I was curious, and I went. It isn't the hardest thing to believe." I conclude.

"Yes, it isn't hard to believe. But did it ever occur to you that your cover could've been blown if I weren't there to save you?" he asks looking into my eyes.

"Ya well, you also made me look like an idiot so I wouldn't consider a 'Thank you' appropriate."

He rolls his eyes and hisses, "Okay, so you'd rather have people know you're abused than know you're an idiot. Alright, noted."

I grab his arm. "You know that isn't what I meant," I state. "Maybe you could just do it without making me sound like a fool."

He removes his arm from my grasp, rather harshly. "I'm not even supposed to be helping you in the first place. Now that I have, you're taking me for granted. This is the only way it could work. Do you not understand that? I hate you and you hate me. If I were to say something such as, 'Aww leave the poor girl alone. We've already done too much with her.' don't you think that'd arouse suspicion? And you know what? I only stick up for you when it comes to abuse...other than that I really don't give a fuck."

"Okay, I understand where you're coming from with that, and I know this doesn't change anything so of course you'd want your fair share of making fun of me. But I never asked you to do this. I can take care of myself. And when did you have time to come up with all that 'sticking up but still have to hate you'? Again, I know you hate me and that you'd want to do that, but it seriously sounds like you've given it some thought."

"Maybe I have. And I seriously would appreciate a 'Thank you' for everything that I'm doing for you. Even if you still keep insisting that you can take care of yourself." He rolls his eyes at the last part.

"Thank you," I mutter under my breath. He stares at me shocked. "But I can still take care of myself."

He mutters under his breath, "And there it is."

"Have you received any text from Matthew yet?"

He never texted me on Thursday like he was supposed to...and he still hasn't and it's Saturday.

"Something came up. Just don't worry about, okay? He told us to trust him, because he has it all under control remember?" He states more than asks while putting his hands on my shoulders.

I slap them off. "Don't touch me," I hiss. He holds his hands up in surrender which actually causes me to crack a smile. "Hey about the trip thing-" I'm cut off before I can finish.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anything else. I'm pretty sure you figured out by now that Tori didn't ask me to tell you," he smirks cockily.

"Oh would you let me finish?" I snap. "I was just wondering when it's happening." He furrows his eyebrows in thought.

"Probably this Friday...and for the record, I probably shouldn't have told you that also."

We stay in a comfortable silence and because he chased me back to the lima bean and I have an interesting passion for scaling it...I climb and sit on top it. Then I remember Uri and Mar are a couple.

"Hey, I can't go back there so can you do me a favor?" He looks my way, silently urging me to continue. "Can you bring Marlene and if Lynn is there bring her too? And then you can go back to Nita...and Lauren...and Molly," I smirk.

He comes to stand between my legs. "And what will I get in return?"

I look down at his hands on my thighs. "You wouldn't want your twelve-year-old little sister, and she wouldn't want you," I whisper, putting my face in my hands and bringing his cocky behavior to an end for now.

I feel his warmth leave me so I look up only to be met with his retreating figure. I'm not sure if he's going to call them for me, but I can only hope. Even if hope is a dangerous thing. I've learned one thing about it: Hope is both danger and blessing. You hope for things, you'll be extra happy when they occur...and when they don't, well...you hope for things you get disappointed. Hope carries a symptom of being extremely disapointed if it doesn't end up in your favor, but if you decide to take the risk, and it does end up in your favor...you realize it was worth it all along. If it doesn't...you come to the conclusion that hope only breaks you, which it does.

All that depressing talk just makes me want to bury my head further into my hands...it made its way back there when I saw him leaving me.

"Hey Tris!" I hear Marlene yell, coming closer and closer. At least he gave me my request. "What did you want to talk about?"

I wonder if Four actually went to her and told her that I want to see her, or if he discreetly got her to talk to me without her knowing he was just with me. I search her face to find the answer and see that it's the latter. I internally sigh. Because he gave me Marlene I'm guessing he didn't give me Lynn due to her not being there.

"You and Lynn...don't really seem happy about Chris, Will, and Al coming back. Why?"

She sighs and takes a deep breath before answering, "Tris, you're desperate for your friends back, you really don't want shit, and I understand that. All of it, really. But me and Lynn...and Uriah, though he doesn't show it...aren't exactly ready to accept them with welcoming arms. That's all. We just have to learn to forgive them like you did and I'm sorry that it won't be happening as quick as yours."

I nod my head in understanding. "I totally get it. I just..I'm the one to blame for all of this and I _really_ want things to be normal. Thank you for being honest and understanding, though."

She smiles at me. "No problem."

We hug for a long time and then she goes back to where she came from and I decide to go back to Ian's.

* * *

I'm standing in front of his door right now. I open it quietly hoping to get in and upstairs without him knowing but unfortunately there seems to be a silhouette of a man with a belt in his hand right in front of me.

"Would you care to explain where you were at 3:08 AM? Oh wait, let me guess. It was with that boy you were kissing the other day, wasn't it?"

_So that's the time._ And he seriously needs to stop obsessing over that.

"I went out for a jog."

He eyes me up and down. "You went for a jog like _that? _What if someone were to see you?"

He's definitely fuming. If this were a cartoon, his face would be devil red and steam would be escaping his nose and ears.

"I don't think many people are up at this time. Plus, it's dark outside. It'd be pretty hard to see my bruises and scars your belt left on me," I probably shouldn't have said that but I'm feeling a little defiant.

"Have you not been taught manners, you pathetic little girl?" He hisses.

"And _you_ have? I don't think it's considered mannerly to hit people!" I shout at him.

He slaps me hard across the face. Right then and there all my bravery disperses.

He grabs me by the hair (which is still in a ponytail, if I may add) and throws me across the room. This is usually the part where I take off my shirt to reveal a tank top and a few times my bra, but this time he and I both know I have nothing under so he sticks with hitting me like this and getting my shirt all stained. Each whip: another scar. Thankfully, these scars will heal over time, but a scar still takes forever to fully go away. My "Imperfection" scar is still not budging, but I don't regret it one bit. I'm too tired today to actually give him much of a fight, so I just let unconsciousness surround me, and the darkness take me.

* * *

I wake up on the floor and take in my surroundings._ It's a good thing I knew better than to hope it was a dream. _I see a note and my body stands up and has my feet carry me there.

_Dear Beatrice,_

_ I had to go to work. While I'm gone, I trust you can take care of yourself and that you won't engage in activity (whether appropriate or not) with your boyfriend. Remember, you have to be responsible. And you're only 14. Anyway, you can cook so I didn't leave anything in the fridge. Don't start rummaging through it trying to find something. There's nothing more to say, really. You already know your "do's and don'ts"._

_ -Ian_

Well, at least now I have a head start on the preparing food thing. And seriously, does this dickhead _actually_ believe I have a boyfriend...that I've already given my virginity to..? Leave it to him to make a bunch of false accusations. Anyway, I'm seriously in the mood for some lasagna so I get started on it.

* * *

I ate dinner in silence and now I'm finishing up washing the dishes. I decide to go to bed early, mostly because I'm in no mood to have to deal with a beating. Well, I'm never in the mood, but now I just wouldn't be able to take it. I didn't leave food for him, if you were wondering. I have too much dignity to do that. I already took a shower and had to replace the gauze due to him beating me again and messing it up. I change into my pajamas and curl into bed.

_I look from Al's wide, dark eyes to his shaking hands to the determined set of Four's jaw. Anger bubbles in my chest, and bursts from my mouth: "_Stop_ it."_

_Four turns the knife in his hand, his fingers moving painstakingly over the metal edge. He gives me such a hard look that I feel like he's turning me to stone. I know why. I am stupid for speaking up while Eric is here; I am stupid for speaking up at all._

_"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," I say. "It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of _cowardice_." _

_"Then it should be easy for you," Eric says. "If you're willing to take his place."_

_The last thing I want to do is stand in front of that target, but I can't back down now. I didn't leave myself the option. I weave through the crowd of initiates, and someone shoves my shoulder. _

_"There goes your pretty face," hisses Peter. "Oh, wait. You don't have one." _

_I recover my balance and walk toward Al. He nods at me. I try to smile encouragingly, but I can't manage it. I stand in front of the board, and my head doesn't even reach the center of the target, but it doesn't matter. I look at Four's knives: one in his right hand, two in his left hand._

_My throat is dry. I try to swallow, and then look at Four. He is never sloppy. He won't hit me. I'll be fine._

_I tip my chin up. I will not flinch. If I flinch, I prove to Eric that this is not as easy as I said it was; I prove that I'm a coward._

_"If you flinch," Four says, slowly, carefully, "Al takes you place. Understand?"_

_I nod._

_Four's eyes are still on mine when he lifts his hand, pulls his elbow back, and throws the knife. It is just a flash in the air, and then I hear a thud. The knife is buried in the board, half a foot away from my cheek. I close my eyes. Thank God._

_"You about done, Stiff?" asks Four._

_I remember Al's wide eyes and his quiet sobs at night and shake my head. "No."_

_"Eyes open, then." He taps the spot between his eyebrows._

_I stare at him, pressing my hands to my sides so no one can see them shake. He passes a knife from his left hand to his right hand, and I see nothing but his eyes as the second knife hits the target above my head. This one is closer than the last one-I feel it hovering over my skull. _

_"Come on, Stiff," he says. "Let someone else stand there and take it."_

_Why is he trying to goad me into giving up? Does he want me to fail?_

_"Shut _up_, Four!"_

_I hold my breath as he turns the last knife in his hand. I see a glint in his eyes as he pulls his arm back and lets the knife fly. It comes straight at me, spinning, blade over handle. My body goes rigid. This time, when it hits the board, my ear stings, and blood tickles my skin. I touch my ear. He nicked it._

_And judging by the look he gives me, he did it on purpose._

_"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is," says Eric, his voice smooth, "but I think that's enough for today."_

_He squeezes my shoulder. His fingers feel dry and cold, and the look he gives me claims me, like he's taking ownership of what I did. I don't return Eric's smile. What I did had nothing to do with him._

_"I should keep my eye on you," he adds._

_Fear prickles inside me, in my chest and in my head and in my hands. I feel like the word "DIVERGENT" is branded on my forehead, and if he looks at me long enough, he'll be able to read it. But he just lifts his hand from my shoulder and keeps walking. Four and I stay behind. I wait until the room is empty and the door is shut before looking at him again. He walks toward me._

_"Is you-" he begins._

_"You did that on _purpose_!" I shout._

_"Yes, I did," he says quietly. "And you should thank me for helping you." _

_I grit my teeth. "_Thank_ you? You almost stabbed my ear, and you spent the entire time taunting me. Why should I thank you?"_

_"You know, I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on!"_

_He glares at me, and even when he glares, his eyes look thoughtful. Their shade of blue is peculiar, so dark it is almost black, with a small patch of lighter blue on the left iris, right next to the corner of his eye. _

_"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to Eric how tough you are? That you're sadistic, just like he is?_

_"I am not sadistic." He doesn't yell. I wish he would yell. It would scare me less. He leans his face close to mine, which reminds me of lying inches away from the attack dog's fangs in the aptitude test, and says, "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"_

_He crosses the room and slams the point of a knife so hard into the table that it sticks there, handle toward the ceiling. _

_"I-" I start to shout, but he's already gone. I scream, frustrated, and wipe some of the blood from my ear. _

I have _seriously_ got to stop landing with a thud on the floor. I don't know what the hell my dream was about, and I'm in no mood to care either. At least the dream got one thing correct: Four is a confusing asshole. And this explains the things that happened in my previous dream. Right now, though, I'm going back to sleep. I can deal with shit tomorrow.

**There you go! Teehee. I know this was shorter than my usual, but hey the next chapter will be very interesting. Promise. Or at least I hope it is so I'll have to take the promise thing back. Anyway, I feel as if I don't add too much hate though there's supposed to be a lot of hate...so how should I improve that? **


	12. Chapter 12

"Don't get too excited. You're staying with me the next weekend too. And of course everyday after that because your parents will be leaving," Ian says.

It's currently Sunday and I'm being dropped off back at my house. When he says everyday after that he really means as long as its his request for me to be with him that day...I'm going to be with him that day. If it's not I spend the day at my house. Sadly, I don't think he's going to get over beating someone like me so quickly.

"I know." is all I reply.

I open the door and start walking up the driveway to ring the bell. My family answers it on the fourth ring.

"Ahh, I see you spent your time with Ian. I expect you to have come back fresh and good," my dad says. I nod. I walk past them and head up the stairs.

"Are you alright, Beatrice?" my mother asks.

"Don't worry about it, mom." I yell still continuing my trek to my room.

I'm so lost in my world putting my bag away and being happy that I'm back under my own roof that I didn't notice the pair of feet to follow me upstairs, into my room. My mother stands in front of me and puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Sit down, please." I follow her to my bed and we sit down, her arm around my shoulders and my head resting on her shoulder.

"What's been going on between us?" I stare at her shocked that she could ask something like that.

"What do you mean?" I ask warily.

"We barely hang out—" I cut her off.

"You and dad have been spending so much time worrying about Caleb...I'm surprised you even remember me. Don't think I don't remember that conversation you guys had a couple nights back. I heard you guys saying how you wish I'd come out like Caleb. But you know what? I'm _not_ Caleb and I will _never_ be Caleb. Caleb is Caleb. I'm Tris." I get up from the bed and start pacing.

"Look, Beatrice—"

"It's Tris," I snap.

"Okay. Tris, I know what we did was wrong but—"

"No. Just stop. Please," I stop pacing and pick out my pajamas and start heading towards the bathroom in the hall. Before I can turn the doorknob to exit my room my mother stops me.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" she asks looking directly in my eyes.

This moment where my mother's green eyes and my blue-gray eyes meet and she's begging me for a chance to make it up to me suddenly gets me weak to my knees. I've missed my mommy.

"How do I know you're serious?" I can't help but be wary. Being independent the majority of your life is bound to make you careful.

"Try me," she states.

"Look, Tris. I understand you won't be willing to open up just yet but...I do hope one day you will. I may not have your father's exact support but this is my decision and I want us to be closer. I don't mind dealing with baby steps I just _need_ my little girl back." She squeezes my shoulders when she says this.

_Shocker._ My dad doesn't give a fuck about me.

"Your 'little girl' died the day my parents did."

She purses her lips at that, "Well then I want to meet this Bea—Tris. I want to meet Tris." I smile at her and she smiles back.

I have only caught sincerity in her voice.

"I think we can arrange something," I say and then open the door and make my way to the bathroom to shower.

* * *

I make my way to school and start picking my books from my locker. My friends all surround me and we are all talking unit I hear a "Tris!". I look towards the voice that just yelled my name and am surprised to see Four. I also can't help but feel a little satisfied. He makes his way to me.

"Uh..hey Tris," he stutters looking at the ground. He keeps his head tilted towards the ground but still looks up at me through his long eyelashes.

"What the hell do you want Four?" I ask bored. He looks taken aback.

"I was just wondering if I could talk to you," he says hopefully.

"Nothing to talk about, fucktard," I state closing my locker.

He properly looks at me. He squares his shoulders, crosses his arms, and flexes his jaw.

"Alright. I see," he starts getting away and I can't help but watch him while biting my lip.

I'm torn between going after him and staying here.

"What was that about?" Al asks.

I look at all of them and see knowing smirks or smiles on their faces...well, all except Al. Al has his jaw clenched and eyes bloodshot.

"I actually have no idea," I lie making sure to not bite my cheek.

"Alright. I see," Will says trying not to smile. I scoff.

"Can we just forget about it? Oh. I have an idea. I was wondering if we could all pull a prank on them," I say hopefully.

"Are you sure it won't haunt you 'Four'ever? Or in other words, your boyfriend won't get mad?" Uriah smirks.

"Please?" I beg.

"Fine," Will says.

Everyone nods their heads at me so he continues, "What do you have in mind?"

* * *

I start settling into my seat in math when Four and his buddies who have this class walk in. Zeke has his arm around Shauna's waist. I wonder what it would feel like to have a strong arm wrapped around my waist. My eyes then take in Four as he enters the classroom.

"Four, please...," Nita begs.

_I wonder why._

"We never even had a relationship, Nita," Four states.

"So then what _was _all that pleasure considered?" Nita asks running a finger down his chest.

She leans in to...to do what I have no idea, but he stops her from doing it.

"Pleasure. That's all it was," he replies.

He goes to sit down in his seat and Nita tries to sit in his lap. He guides her waist away from him and she keeps trying to get close to him. He sighs.

"Nita, how about we compromise?"

"How about you just relax and I help you with that?" She tries to sit in his lap again but he just won't allow it.

"No. You can sit next to me but no touching," he says with finality in his voice.

"But babe...," Nita whines.

He gives her a look to silence her and it works. Then Mr. Asshole decides to show up. He seems to have perfect timing...almost too perfect.

Nita is still standing up.

"Sweetheart, wouldn't you rather sit?" he gestures towards a chair.

"But daddy, there aren't any empty chairs. Maybe I could sit in Four's lap." She looks at him innocently.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, now would you Four?" he asks.

One: there are plenty of chairs around. Two: isn't this guy supposed to be a teacher? I do not think encouraging that kind of behavior in school is appropriate for his occupation.

He glares at the teacher so hard I'm thinking that whoever came up with the expression: "If looks could kill..." obviously didn't meet Four. Four probably _could_ kill him with it.

"Actually sir, I prefer to not be sat on," Four seethes.

When I hear that I let out a small snort. It's kinda like the one that happens when someone wants to laugh but stops immediately because the situation is inappropriate for it. Everybody turns to look at me and my cheeks start to blush. I can't help the laugh I'm stifling. It was bound to come out. I start laughing while the whole class is staring at me amused. They soon start to join in on the laughter. I look at Four and see he's watching me as if I'm the most precious thing in the world...or at least I think. It really could've been my imagination because his face turns hard just a second later.

"Okay, okay. Simmer down," he waves his hands to get us to stop laughing but it doesn't seem to be working.

"If you don't shut up you will all receive detentions." _Now_ everybody stops laughing. His expression then turns loving.

"Nita sit down please."

She tries to sit in Four's lap but he pushes her away again. She huffs and sits down in the chair next to his. She scoots her chair way too close to his for my liking and he sighs but does nothing. Maybe he realized that having them in seperate chairs was the best he could get. They still aren't touching though. Throughout the rest of class Nita tries to reach out and touch him when he's not paying much attention but he always catches her wrist and places it away from him before she can lay a hand on him.

* * *

I decide to not tell my friends the story of what went down in math. They'd probably start teasing me about it.

"Wazzup?" I ask, setting my tray down on the table.

"The sky," Will smirks.

Classic him, being all logical. But there definitely was a hint of Uri in there. All the playfulness. I roll my eyes.

"Meh meh," I say in his face. This just causes his smirk to grow. I pull back and sit down.

"About that prank...when are you planning on doing it?" he asks.

I ponder it for a minute, "depends. When can you get the stuff? And it's more like a chain of pranks."

Uri raises his hand. "Right. No need to worry about that. I already have all that stuff. I have everything. I'm the guy who can get you what you need when you need it, in case you forgot."

"Hey, about your party this week," Christina says whilst rolling her eyes. _Wait, isn't the trip this week?_

"Who's going to be there? When is it? What'll go on?"

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. I mean, it's a Pedrad party. I may not be a party girl but everybody knows about those.

"Ya. Zeke says it's on Saturday," Uri tells her.

"What? Why? What's wrong with Friday?" she tries to interrogate. _We have the ritual..._

"He and Four were discussing it and decided that Saturday is best," Uri states.

Christina huffs in annoyance. She seems unsatisfied with this answer. I can't help but feel a little relieved at that. Friday I have a field trip so Ian has to let me go and Saturday he won't be on my case much...not really, but kind of. I'll probably deal with shit Satuday too but I'm pretty sure I can figure out a way to have Christina come over to get me dolled up. I know that no matter what I'll end up going so there really isn't much point in arguing.

"So what should we do Friday?" Christina asks.

"Why don't we just keep to ourselves that day? Everybody enjoys peace and quiet once in a while, right?" I state which causes her to groan.

Right then, the bell rings, signaling lunch is over.

"I'll see you guys later," I say whilst grabbing my tray and standing up from the table.

They all murmur some form of "yes".

* * *

I do not get the purpose of saying "see you later" when we're all attending the same class next.

Anyway, I walk in and take a seat, waiting for all of the students to arrive.

Once everyone has walked in and been seated, Tori starts class.

"I don't know if I mentioned this, but the assignment is due next Wednesday," Tori states.

I wonder why the date has been changed to next Wednesday. Does it have anything to do with the trip? And what about Matthews? Maybe I should try and meet up with him. Four may not care about getting a good grade for this, but I do. I guess I can ask Caleb to help me meet up with him.

"Go ahead and discuss," she says. _Too bad I'm trying to avoid Four at all costs. And he obviously isn't too happy about me likewise._

"Hey, how come you and Four aren't discussing? You never are," Christina states, trying to get a good look at him. I grab her arm.

"Stop that. He might think something...and I don't need any more of that bastard. Hell I can't even stand him when our exchange is considered necessary. And we don't discuss it often because we have an awesome sauce director who said he has everything all under control and that we need to trust him. But to be honest, all we did was shoot one scene and we have a whole video to complete," I hiss the beginning but finish more nicely.

Our whole entire group has abandoned their conversations to listen to mine.

Uri opens his mouth, probably to comfort me, but a voice interrupts him.

"I think if he said we need to trust him, we need to trust him," Four says staring down at me with his arms crossed. "Especially _you_, pipsqueak."

"I wasn't talking to you," I growl, showing my teeth.

He rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath. I feel an odd urge to try to console him, but that's probably just the wacko part of me.

After Four and I's exchange, we all remain quiet. There really is nothing more to say. I do know that I need to figure out what is happening to me. I intend to.

* * *

I walk around campus, waiting for the school day to come to an end. I want to talk to Caleb, he can help me with Matthews. I text him to meet me here at the fountain the second his class finishes.

Finally, it becomes dismissal and a few seconds later I see him rushing toward me.

"I got your text. What is it?" he asks.

"You know Matthews, right?" I pause and he nods his head. Then, I continue, "well, I need to speak with him. We have a project together."

"Is this about Ms. Wu's class? He said to trust him and not worry about it...so don't."

"You can call her Tori, you know. And I want a good grade so can you please just let me see him?" I start getting frustrated.

"Trust him, alright? And this is coming from your smartass older brother," he says, soothing me. He has his hands on my shoulders, silently urging me to calm down and let it go.

"Fine." Our eye contact doesn't waver and he lets go of my shoulders hesitatingly.

_I guess I'll have to find another way to get to Matthews..._

* * *

As I'm getting ready to go to bed I hear a knock on the door.

"Tris? Can I come in?" she hollers through the door. I finish putting my pajamas on and get under the covers, so she can't see me.

"You can come in now," I yell.

She enters the door and sits on the corner of my bed. She puts her hand on my knee, which is covered thanks to the blankets.

"I was wondering, do you want to do something Saturday?" she asks lovingly.

I'm still not falling headfirst into this, in case it's a trap. I don't mind going slow though.

I shake my head, "I have something Saturday." I bite my lip, contemplating whether I said too much.

"Ahh. That's alright. Well, if you ever want to do something, let me know," she says understandingly.

_Hmm._ I wonder how many parties my mother would go to. Anyway, I still nod my head at her words.

"Goodnight," she mutters, kissing me on the forehead. I, again, can only nod my head at her words.

She leaves my room while closing the door behind her. I start squirming around, trying to get comfortable. Finally, I settle on my usual curled-up position.

The _un_usual thing about this time:

I'm curled up in a masculine scent, that also has some sweat in the mix.

I inhale it. It soothes me. I still have to figure out what it all means, but I'm fairly sure I'm getting there.

I'm curled up in Four's sweatshirt.

chicisme10:

**Thank you for letting me know! Honestly, I didn't see it as bitchy. And you're right, lots of people do that. That's kinda why I get confused. I see so many stories organized like that and some that aren't, which really confuses me on how to organize my story. So thank you for clarifying how I should organize it because I really was confused. And if this sounds sappy I really didn't intend for it to be; I sincerely was confused on how to organize my story.**


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up surrounded by a masculine scent. I get up and ready and stumble out of my room, sleep evident in me. After getting breakfast I make my way to head out the door before I trip on suitcases. I push myself up, dusting myself off, and just stare at them. They stand there reminding me of my parents' departure and Ian's torture. With my family leaving soon, I just wonder how my mother plans to make it up to me. I go out the door and start walking, since I see no car in the driveway. Surprisingly, Caleb wasn't even the thing that woke me up. I did it myself. Anyway, I'm considering doing the prank once everybody leaves the party on Saturday. It'll mean less witnesses since they'll probably be too drunk to remember. While I was wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't realize that I had made it to my locker.

"Hey! What's up? And how come everybody's always gathering up at my locker?" I ask with an eyebrow raised.

"Because you're the common territory," Uri answers simply. _As if that doesn't raise suspiscions.._

"Since when do you actually arrive on time? You're usually here so early...well, you used to," Christina says picking a lock of my hair.

I'd never really thought about that. Now that I have...I realize she's correct. I'll just blame that on Caleb. I shrug my shoulders at her.

"So about that 'chain of pranks' thing—" I start before I get cut off.

"Did somebody finally come to their senses and realize it'll hurt those dear to them?" Uri mocks in a baby voice.

I stare at him, long and hard. "As I was saying before I was so rudely cut off, I've come up with a date for our little 'project'."

I see all their eyes sparkle at this.

Will clears his throat, "yes?"

"Saturday night...or Sunday morning, depending on what time the party will finish."

* * *

I'm currently in my seat for first period. I can't help but trace the scar on my hip over and over again. I've been doing pretty well covering up my bruises and they've been doing a pretty good job of healing. Anyway, Mr. Asshole is late. _Does he not know the rule if a teacher is 15 minutes late to class, the students may leave?_ I swear, if this guy doesn't show up in the next 5 minutes, I'm officially leaving. How is it that everybody—including his daughter—is here and he's still 10 (now 11) minutes late? We're all quiet, waiting for the teacher to show up. Four still isn't letting Nita sit on his lap. Everybody is looking around at each other wondering if they should leave or stay. Finally, I decide this is too much. I pack my bag, sling it over my shoulder, and start walking towards the door. As I have my hand on the knob, I hear him.

"Yo Stiff! May I ask what the hell you think you're doing?" _I can just hear the hint of amusement in his voice._

I take my hand off the knob and turn around, making sure all my movements are slow to show my irritation, which obviously seems to amuse him more.

"Haven't you heard the rule if a teacher is absent for 15 minutes, the students are allowed to leave?" I remark.

I stride across the room to Mr. Asshat's desk. I start fumbling around in it, trying to find his lesson plans. I'd hate to miss an important exam or to have him walk in just as I'm about to walk out. I hear footsteps coming closer towards me but I know they don't belong to Mr. Asshole because these ones are quiet, defined. I also didn't hear the door open. I've deciphered it's a male—a powerful one—and that he's right next to me. He starts fumbling with the drawers along with me.

"I believe _this_ is what you're looking for," Four says, handing me the lesson plans. _I so want to smack that smirk off his face..._

I look through it and find nothing special for today...and the teacher still isn't here and it's been 20 minutes. I drop the lesson plans on the desk and start to exit the classroom again, only this time mutliple footsteps are heard behind me. I look towards the sound and see the whole class is following me. _Ya, no pressure._

"What-what are you all doing?" I stammer.

"We're ditching...just like you. What else would we be doing?" A student answers.

"C'mon guys. Isn't it obvious what's going on here?" Everybody stops and looks at Four. "'Goody two shoes' doesn't know what she's doing. She's never ditched before. And I bet she's only ditching this period instead of the whole school day. She probably doesn't even count this as ditching," he smirks.

Everybody turns their gaze onto me, awaiting my next action. I _did_ want to keep my good streak, and I _do_ wish everybody had either minded their own business or followed Four instead of me but I can't take back my choices. Now, though, I must give up my image and prove myself. My stubborn self will not let him win and I know he's just challenging me. I go up to him and lean in close to his face.

"If you were smart, you'd know to keep your mouth shut. Because you're not, I'm suggesting you do," I hiss.

He leans in closer, "so you up for some ditching?"

I can't help the shudder that goes down my spine from his breath on my skin. He sees this and smirks.

"Everything alright...especially down there?" he makes sure I feel the coool, fresh breeze that is his breath. I shudder again but don't let him control me.

I shove him against the wall with all the strength I have and he must let me because he actually ends up pressed against the wall.

"Back to your first statement, bring it on," I spit in his face.

"And the second?" he smirks.

I roll my eyes and release him. He side-steps me and heads to the front of the crowd. Everybody stops to stare at him.

He rubs his hands together and starts, "Pipsqueak over there has brought us to this point—surprisingly—and now I'm here to lead."

We all start being lead to the outside of the building and right before I leave campus, I look back to see if tarnishing my image is worth it...then I look at him staring at me intently (probably wondering what I'll do) and I leave campus.

* * *

The way we're using to get to our destination gets more familiar the closer we get. At first, maybe I didn't recognize it because I've never taken that route, but now I can tell we're headed straight for Millennium Park. We all keep walking in a crowd with him as our leader. Luckily, it seems as though nobody's noticed that we are students ditching...or more logical: they don't care enough to do anything about it. Which I don't mind, but I do wonder how many students they've seen ditching...or how many times they've done it before—the students at my school and the people who aren't saying anything about it. Once we enter Millennium Park, everyone stops, causing me to hit my head on the person in front of me. I back up a little because I respect personal space.

"Now, do whatever you want, I really don't give a fuck, and I hope you can handle yourselves on your own," he says waving his hands in the air dismissing us.

I start to look around wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do when I hear a chuckle. I look towards the voice and find none other than Four.

"Pipsqueak, you're coming with me," he moves his finger, motioning me to come closer toward him.

Once I come close enough he starts leading me out of Millennium Park and I follow him because I have no idea what else to do.

* * *

Finally he stops, and because I was looking at my feet the entire time, I bump into his shoulder.

He chuckles, "I wonder when you'll stop being clumsy."

I huff and look around. We're in Navy Pier. _Why?_

"Why are we—" I start to ask but then realize he's already walking away.

I start running towards him but his long legs make sure he's always a step ahead of me.

"Can you stop...for like one second..?" I yell.

He turns around and looks at me, "sorry."

I'm utterly shocked that he actually said sorry so I'm left there stunned and still. After a few seconds he must've grown impatient because he clears his throat, snapping me out of my reverie. I walk towards him getting more undazed by each step closer to him. Finally I make it to his side and we start walking—him slower than usual...probably for me.

"So...fucktard, why did you take me here?" I ask him.

He snorts, "wow. I try to be nice and you still just won't stop."

I look at him and start feeling awful. He's currently shaking his head and staring at his shoes. _Man, do I want to comfort him!_

"Why are you trying to be nice?" I yell at him. His head snaps up and out of his daze at my voice.

"Excuse me?" he demands.

"What happened that's causing you to change your way from the past _8 years_ of our lives? And why now, huh? Also, tell me how I'm just supposed to forget about it all with no questions asked. Do you seriously expect me to accept you with no knowledge of this 'new you'? I'm not stupid," I shout.

"How can I make it up to you?" he whispers.

"You can't. You won't," I whisper back.

* * *

"Tris, can I come in?" my mother knocks softly on the door.

"Yeah sure," I mumble mostly focused on the patterns on my ceiling.

The bed dips a little, implying she sat down there.

"Is everything alright?" she asks squeezing my knee in a comforting manner.

"Not really," I reply.

She sighs but doesn't say anything else. I wonder if it's because she knows I won't open up to her and this is the best she's receiving or she's not sure what to do...it's probably the first one.

"Wanna go shopping sometime soon?" she suggests.

I chuckle, "no thank you. I absolutely hate shopping."

"But you're always going shopping with Christina..."

"Christina is always forcing me to go shopping," I reply.

"Well, what are you into?" she asks. _I love how she just got right to the point._

"I'm not really sure but when I do figure it out I'll let you know," I tell her.

She huffs and starts to leave my room, but right before she does she tells me, "don't tell your father and brother about your dilemma." And then she winks.

_Does she know it's boy trouble? Woah, never thought I'd say that before..._

"Wait, mom?" I call out.

She peaks her head into my room—she's currently halfway in my room and halfway out of my room—and hums in response. I pat the spot she was sitting in earlier and she comes and sits down again. _Then my questions start rolling in..._

* * *

I slam my hand on his desk, demanding he look at me...which he does.

"What the hell, Bea?" he demands.

"Tell me about Matthew," I reply back smoothly.

He stares at me for a second and then breaks into a fit of laughter.

"You...like...Matthew," he says in between laughter.

I shriek, "eww. Why would I like Matthew? Dammit I was talking about the project."

He immediately stops laughing. "Oh."

I smirk, "Ya 'oh'. Now tell me his information."

"Since when are you so formal?" he asks.

"Stop trying to change the subject," I slam my hand on the desk again.

"Why do you need to know?" he keeps trying to change the subject.

I roll my eyes, "because I'm not going to fail just because of some lazy dude."

Now it's his turn to roll his eyes, "he's not lazy and you're not going to fail."

"How do you know?" I ask skeptically.

"I just do. Now get out," he points to his door.

I start to walk out, not because I've given up but because I assume Tori would understand this dilemma and how nobody tells me anything and everybody is lazy. I've never been the type to blame it on other people and beg the teacher for a second chance/team but I guess I can make an exception. Besides, I've given up my goody two shoes image...and only certain people know but I wouldn't be surprised if it spread.

"Wait, Bea. I've never seen you wear that shirt before," he starts narrowing his eyes, trying to inspect my outfit.

I'm already standing in the doorway of his room so I make a dash for it—my room. Last I saw of him, his eyes lit up because he figured it out and then they darkened because...well, he figured it out. He's now chasing me and I run faster than I ever have before. Thank goodness he isn't the athlete type because add that with his long legs and I'm a goner. Believe me when I say this chase is a matter of life and death. Luckily, I make it to my room and shut the door right before he's about to enter. I lean against the door with all my strength while he tries to push the door open. I'm surprised we haven't broken this door yet with all the shit that goes down between us. I quickly lock the door and step back, happy he's finally decided to give up. I can't believe I was so stupid that I actually wore _this_ in front of Caleb. What's next? Will I do it with my dad, too? But hey, you can't blame me. It's very comfortable and soothing..._safe._

_Now it's time I pass out on my bed..._


	14. Chapter 14

I wake up and remember what went down last night. Just for that, I lie in bed a little longer coming up with my story. I check the clock and see it's early...like _really_ early. Eh, that means I get more time.  
+++

Finally, after what feels like forever but is really a few minutes of me trying to go back to sleep, I come up with it. I also come up with a story to tell my friends about why me and Four were absent. I know, I know. That isn't in any way relevant, but I know they're going to ask and I need to be prepared. I get dressed and hide my new pajamas so nobody finds them. _Wait, are they how my mom knew what my dilemma was about?_

Anyway, I trust that Four will have an excuse for why he was absent...or he probably won't because him ditching isn't exactly out of the ordinary. Maybe I shouldn't even come up with an excuse, I mean the sluts will probably rat me out anyway. Why is this so annoying? If I knew ditching would be so complicated, I probably wouldn't have done it in the first place..._probably_. _Ughhhhhhh, don't I already have enough dilemmas as it is?_

After stealing some breakfast, I stumble out the door and start on my walk to school.  
+++

"Hey," I announce once I get to my locker.

They all reply with forms of hi...all except Chris. She seems to be thinking intently about something.

"Everything alright with her?" I ask them.

"Well, knowing her condition I'd say it's impossible to get worse," Uri replies, which earns him a smack from Will.

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with her," he defends. Uri just smirks at him. After five seconds of Will staring and Uri smirking, they get into one of their childish, immature fights.

I sigh and head towards them. I grab them by the collar, "break it up. Honestly, can you guys be mature for once? And Will, I'm very dissapointed in you—" Uri snorts at this. "I seriously expected more from you." Will sticks his tongue out at Uri. I roll my eyes.

"Now that Tris has broken you two up, I was wondering...do you know anything about the ditch party that happened yesterday?" she points her index finger at me.

"I don't think anybody calls it that."

"You don't know that," she snaps. She takes a deep breath to collect herself. "Do you know anything about it?" she asks staring at me intently.

"What makes you assume I do? Everyone knows I don't pay attention to what goes on around here," I say looking around me.

"I know, I know. It's just that...you knew about the trip...and, well...it was your class that did it," she tells me looking down at her shoes.

"Oh." is all I say. "Oh." is all I think.  
+++

It's been 9 minutes and Mr. Asshat has still not shown up. _Man, it's like this school _wants_ us to ditch._

I check my watch again and see he's now 10 minutes late.

Nita jumps up from her seat, capturing everyone's eyes as she does...especially the guys'.

"Yay! C'mon, now let's all go ditch," she shrieks in a high-pitched tone...like _really_ high-pitched. I touch my ears, trying to calm the ringing. Thank God, it seems to be fading.

Everybody gets up to leave with her but I can't help but feel like something's off. I stay planted in my seat trying to figure it out. I wonder if I'm delusional, it seems as if I'm the only one who thinks that there's something weird about this whole thing. I can't really put my finger on why I feel this way, but it's a gut feeling...and I usually listen to my gut. I look up and see that I'm not the only one who felt that way. Someone else is here. Someone named Four.

I walk up to him. "Why didn't you ditch?" I ponder.

"I'm not an idiot. Yesterday seemed safe but today it seems a little odd. You must've sensed it, too." He doesn't ask the last part, he states it.

I sigh, "since when do you care how you seem to others?"

"Others? More like one person," he says staring into my eyes.

I can't help but roll my eyes which produces a sigh out of him.

"Tris—"

"Stop!" I sort-of yell. "Stop. It. Right. Now," I annunciate every word to make sure he understands.

"No, tell me. We were getting along great before—"

"We were?" I yell, outraged. "Tell me, Four, when this happened. Because I obviously didn't know about it."

"Well it was better than before—"

"Of course it was 'better than before'. We hated each other's guts 'before'." I put a hand to my forehead. He's seriously pissing me off.

"Just tell me how it seems _so bad_. _I_ can even admit that...I like you. And I want us to start all over—"

"It's not that simple!" I shout at him, making hand gestures to express my frustration.

"How the hell is it not that simple?" he yells back at me. He stands up from his seat and is now right in front of me.

"I never knew you were so desperate that you'd actually stoop as low as being a pedophile," I say quietly with my arms crossed and my gaze fixed on the floor by my left.

"I'm not desperate to the point of pedophilia—"

"Really?" I whisper. "Because it sure seems to me that you're trying to get with your—"

"Ah-ha!" Our heads turn to the direction of the voice. _It's the one and only Mr. Asshole..._

"'Ah-ha!' what?" Four asks.

"'Ah-ha' as in he now knows which students are ditching," Ms. Matthews enters the classroom.

"What are you doing here? And what do you mean by 'he now knows which students are ditching'?" I ask.

"I'm the Superintendent. And Ms. Prior, judging by your grades you should understand what 'he now knows which students are ditching'. Four, on the other hand, might need some explaining which I'm sure you'd be happy to do. Also I must say I'm utterly astonished to find out Four actually isn't the one leading it, even more so not even in it," she says so formal I have to rethink if she's informing us or just talking.

Her way of communication seems mechanical, as if she were a robot. She appears so emotionless, it makes me wonder whether or not she was telling the truth when she said she's "utterly astonished". She wears a blue dress that hugs her body from shoulder to knee, revealing a layer of pudge around her middle. She also has liquid gray eyes.

"I may not be the braniac here," Four casts her a look. "but I'm fairly certain she meant _how_ he knows not what he said." She purses her lips at him and he just scoffs and raises his eyebrows, prompting for an answer.

"We were watching you all this whole time. Of course, Nita got up and the rest of the class joined her, so now it is clear who has the intention of ditching everytime a teacher isn't around," she concludes.

Now it's my turn to scoff, and I definitely throw in a good eye roll, too. "There's a rule, you know. If a teacher is fifteen minutes late, the students are allowed to leave. Of course, they didn't wait that long. And did it ever occur to you that you could've just checked the footage for yesterday?"

"We didn't want to see yesterday, we wanted to see which delinquents were still intent on missing school based on a myth," she counters.

"It doesn't matter if it's a myth, everybody obviously still follows it," I smirk. "And if I'm understanding you correctly, you don't mind if a student ditches once in a while?" I'm pretty sure it's now both of us—me and Four—raising our eyebrows, prompting for an answer with our arms crossed.

She stares at me for a little and responds, "since when do you talk back like this?"

"You didn't answer her question," Four deadpans.

"I have dignity, you know. And he's not wrong," I reply.

"No, he's not," she pats down her dress even though nothing has happened to it, and leaves.

Me and Four immediately release our pent-up laughter, but that still doesn't mean we're bonding.

Mr. Asshole snaps his head to us. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves. Attempting to make a fool out of a brilliant brain like hers."

The fact that he just complimented her brain causes us to laugh harder...if even possible.

"We didn't _attempt_ anything, but we did succeed at that—as in make her look foolish," I smirk.

"Shut up," he threatens.

"I don't think you're allowed to _threaten_ us," Four says amused.

"Well I can tell you to go to your seats. Class is in session. No more talking," he demands.

We both go to our seats and...let's just say the rest of class is a blur...a _boring_ blur.  
+++

I leave the classroom before Four can catch me.  
+++

I get changed into my new pajamas and start _trying_ to go to sleep. Instead, I am consumed by my thoughts. _I'd much rather be consumed by sleep..._

Nevertheless, I finally start drifting off.

* * *

_Thursday! Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!_

I just have to survive the rest of this day and then Capture-the-Flag! Yay! I'm so excited.

I wonder how it'll all work out.

I go to my drawer to start picking my clothes out when I hear a knock on my door.

I open it a smidge and see Caleb. We haven't really talked much since he saw me in my pajamas.

"Hey, Caleb. What do you want?" I ask as nicely as possible. Don't want to arouse suspiscion...though we might be passed that speaking as I only have my head out the door.

"Hey, Bea! I just needed to get something from your room...that I left," he says unsure.

"What did you leave in my room?" I ask. I'd cross my arms to be a little more intimidating, but then I'll lose my hold on the door and, well...

"Are you a virgin?" he asks suddenly...and totally out-of-nowhere.

I'm taken aback by his question and take a second to compose myself before I reply, "Excuse me?" If he can't sense my outrage then he really has no idea about human emotions.

"Well, are you? That Peter guy did say some stuff that I never believed but now—"

I point my finger at his chest. "You _never_ believed? Is that seriously what you're trying to tell me? Okay. Stop lying. You think I don't remember what went down? You think I never heard what you guys said behind my back? Do you think I don't remember my encounters with you guys?" I ask incredulously.

"Are you a virgin or not?" He's getting impatient now.

"No, you don't get to know. I thought we were headed in a positive direction but if you—" It's not long before he cuts me off my rant.

"You're wearing _Four's_ shirt, Bea! What do you expect me to think? He isn't exactly known for his modesty, and you're pretty known for your hatred towards him, so I need to know...did something happen during this project of yours?" It's funny how he started out with outraged, exhausted hand gestures and then towards the end became soft.

"Nothing happened, Caleb," I assure him.

"Why do you have his shirt?" He narrows his eyes. I wish he'd stop doing that.

"Trust me. Now please, I have to get ready for school, so leave," I say shoving him out the door, while he just continues his protests.

I lock my door and get dressed.  
+++

"Okay, class, so I know it's a little late but I need you to have these permission slips signed by tomorrow," Tori tells us as she hands out papers to everyone. She goes up and down and side by side, passing them out personally to every student.

"So the rumors about the tradition are true?" Christina's eyes scan the paper, "and it is...Friday." She narrows her eyes at the section of the paper where it shows the time and date taking place.

"Ya. Anything else, freshman?" Tori asks her. When she receives no response, she finishes passing out the rest of the sheets and heads to the front of the classroom.

"Does anyone know what's funny about this?" Christina turns to the rest of us.

"Trissy mentioned something about how we can't do something this Friday…" she turns towards me, "did you know about this?" She narrows her eyes.

"What? No, I just think a Saturday is more Pedrad style," I lie. I make sure to not bite the inside of my cheek.

"Hmm." She nods her head but I know she doesn't buy my story.

I can tell everyone—or everyone paying attention, which really isn't a lot—can tell something happened. I just ignore them. I cross my arms and look towards the front of the class, towards Tori. I can feel Four's eyes on me.

"Well, this is the part where I tell you to discuss the project with your partners," Tori claps her hands. She rocks back on her heels awkwardly. "Discuss," she says sternly.

I remain in my chair, talking to nobody, sitting alone. Tori obviously seemed to have noticed too. "Four, can you go to your partner and _discuss_?"

I purse my lips. "No, it's alright. Our director said he has everything all under control and I need to trust him...well, according to Four of course...and_ every other person I've asked."_ I say the last part in a manner as if I'm stabbing my fork at my food and am mad.

I don't need Four and I really hate how people have come to think of me as _dependant_ on _him_. I'm not desperate or weak that I need him _every single time_ something happens. I can handle myself.

He obviously isn't capable of understanding English because he takes the seat right next to me. "Nonsense," is his exact reply and he scoots closer.

I turn towards him. "Yes. 'Nonsense' is exactly what you are. 'Nonsense' is exactly what _this_ is," I say, gesturing between the both of us. He rolls his eyes.

He turns the opposite direction of me for a second and mutters under his breath, "I know, I know. You've been saying that ever since the idea was introduced."

I smirk. "Glad to see you've finally gotten the message." He rolls his eyes again.

After our little exchange, we remain in silence. I don't know about him, but I know that it's a comfortable silence for me...mostly because I hate him...I'm sure. Whatever.  
+++

I finish changing into my pajamas and hear a knock on the door. I go towards it and open it to reveal my mom.

"Um...hey," I only stick my head out the door, already starting this conversation off awkward.

"Hi. Can I come in?" she says, pointing inside.

"Umm...I don't know, I mean, um...my room isn't the cleanest right now and um...I'm really tired so...," I stutter, trying to close the door, but her hand stops me.

"Beatrice—"

"Tris," I correct.

She recomposes herself. "Tris. Is everything alright? Can I please enter your room?"

"Seriously...I'm tired so...maybe another time," I say in between yawns. I attempt to close the door again but fail...again.

She sets her hands on my shoulders. "Tris, please just let me enter."

I cross my arms and clench my teeth. She's really starting to...ugh. "I told you forgiveness wouldn't be easy, and you said you understood. Where's that understanding now? Huh?"

I know, I know. That was unfair and awful and shouldn't have been said. I shouldn't have used it against her...but right now she just... I don't know. She's acting as if we're back on good terms but we're not. We're just not.

She looks taken aback for a moment and then replies, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so misunderstanding. I'll just go." She turns away and starts to walk towards her room, and I watch.

**Here come my excuses. Okay, I had to go somewhere for at least a week...I know. I took forever to update. I thought we would leave later or something so I'd end up getting to finish it and post it, but then I found out we were leaving that night. And now, I'm having a bunch of trouble with schools. The next update will not take as long, I gurantee that. I've just been trying to catch myself up in my personal life ever since we went on vacation. You need to know that I have a life outside of this. I will take less time updating, really. It's just the vacation has my mind all over the place and school's approaching but I'm close to sanity (or whatever the hell I was before). But, yes, next update will be quicker, I'm really really really sorry. I hate having to wait, too. **

**And by the way, somebody guessed what I was doing...oh my gosh I was freaking out when I saw you guessed exactly what I was doing. I'm so obvious. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay, so I suggest you read the last chapter again. I made a _slight_ change. If you don't prefer reading the whole thing again, which I don't mind at all, at least read the part during Tori's class. I thought I had changed that part but then when I was reviewing it and it had already been posted, I saw I hadn't changed it. By the way, FanFiction was down...well, not the reading part, but the place where you would normally sign in wasn't working. Anyway, this part of the story is divided into sections. Without further ado:  
**+++

**Part 1:**

I rush down the stairs, into the kitchen, where my parents are.

"Why are you so excited?" Caleb narrows his eyes at me as he walks in.

"Oh, nothing," I reply dreamily. "Anyway, I need you guys to sign these papers," I say, handing them over.

My father's eyes skim over them. My mother appears behind his shoulder, and when she sees the paper, she smiles. "Oh, _this_," she says, grabbing a pen. My father looks at her and hands her the paper to sign.

She signs and then hands it to me saying, "here you go."

"Thanks," I say a little awkward.

I know I should apologize, but every word I uttered was true. She has always been the better parent but that doesn't mean she's been the best.

"Caleb, shouldn't you have one, too?" My father asks.

He scratches behind his ear. "It just isn't the thing for me, honestly. I know it's school tradition but I can participate in other traditions," he replies sheepishly.

"Ya, nerdy traditions," I mutter, rolling my eyes.

"There's nothing wrong in participating in more academic rather athletic traditions," he exclaims.

I hold my hands up in defense. "I never said there was."

"You implied it," he says, exasperated.

"I'm heading to school," I announce, wanting to end this conversation before it gets serious.

Realization dawns upon his face and he rushes out the door. I stare incredulously and then start on my own journey to school. When I get outside I see his car gone. He didn't even bother to offer me a ride! Whatever, I'm used to it. It's just now I can't hope it's because I'd make him late, because he made it pretty clear that he just enjoys avoiding me.  
+++

When I make it to school, I see everyone huddled outside. I wonder why. I weave my way through the crowd and someone grabs my arm. I pull, thinking it was probably tugged on accidentally, but their grip only tightens. I look at them.

"Tori, what's going on?" I ask her, brushing the hair that keeps falling in front of my face away.

"Do you have your permission slip?" She raises her voice so I can hear.

I nod my head and reach into my bag for it. "Why? What's going on?" I shout, while handing it to her.

"Wait here. The trip, it's starting," she explains.

"Right now?" I ask incredulously.

She nods her head. "You're friends are over there if you want." She points over to a little more secluded section...well, as secluded as it can get in a moment like this.

I nod my head in thanks and make my way over there.

"Hey," Christina says to me. I nod my head.

"I wonder how this'll fit in with the famous Pedrad party..." Uri scratches his head.

"I'm sure Zeke can find a way," I assure him.

He nods his head deep in thought. "You're probably right. Planning and time management is _his_ thing. Partying is _my_ thing. After all, I _am_ the more awesome Pedrad."

He said it all so seriously as if he truly believed it and was actually deep in thought that I can't help but laugh. And when he gives me a confused glance, I can't help but question if he really was deep in thought.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"You were kidding before, weren't you?" I stop laughing when he doesn't seem to catch on.

"What would I be kidding about?" He's still confused.

I nod my head a few times, reprimanding myself in my thoughts that I really should have expected this. I pat him on the back. He's still confused but then we hear a noise and he becomes ecstatic again.

When we look towards the sound, I see a bus. My brow furrows. I didn't think we'd be getting on a bus. Hm.

"Ya ya ya, you didn't expect a bus. Nobody does at first. Now get on," Tori demands. She gestures us all forward onto the bus.

We all start towards it, each one shoving another to get on before the other. I really never understood why people do that. We're _all_ gonna make it there one way or another...it doesn't depend on what order you're in. Once I enter, I see black, leather couches blending in with the wall and carpet flooring. I guess this is one of those fancy buses used for long trips. I was one of the last to get on the bus so only a few others get on after I'm seated. Now that I look around, I realize we aren't as big of a crowd as I had assumed. Maybe it's because we're all cramped together, or maybe it's because only a few were selected from the school. All I know is that the latter is an assumption.

"Okay. Everyone, eye's to the front," Tori yells. Everyone quiets down. She claps her hands. "You guys will arrive at a hotel in a few hours. We will be staying there for barely a day so don't start obsessing over the fact that you didn't pack. You will be sharing a room with someone and there will be one outfit in the drawers for each one in the room. You don't necessarily have to change into that outfit, what you prefer to wear is what you can wear, but if you would like to change there will be an outfit for you, as I said before. Who you will be sharing a room with will be revealed later. Now, you may continue what you were doing."

"What were we doing?" Uri asks.

I smack him upside the head. "We weren't doing anything." I stick my tongue out at him.

"Well then what _are_ we going to do?" he asks.

I shrug. I look around the bus, not exactly knowing what I'm looking for or why...just knowing that I'm looking for something.

"I'm still curious as to how Zeke will pull the party off," Uri tells us.

I sling an arm over his shoulder. "Don't worry. Tori said we will barely be there for a day. I'm sure we'll have enough time to make it to his party," I reassure, while rubbing his back.

"I guess you're right." He smiles at me in thanks.

"Hey, when am I not?" He snorts at my comment.

Will starts, "well, there was that time — "

I cut him off. "William, now is not the best time for your smartass ways to come out."

He holds his hands up in defense. "You _did_ ask. And no need to call me 'William'."

"No need to defy me," I smirk, which earns me a roll of his eyes.

"Who do you think we'll be sharing a room with?" Christina asks, changing the subject.

"I don't know, but Tori knows who we're comfortable with and who we're not comfortable with." Will shrugs. "So, I'm most likely going to be paired up with Uriah."

"Well if you're going to be paired up with Uri, then me and Marlene will most likely be paired up," Lynn adds. I see her eyes glint at the end.

"So, me and Trissy are being paired up then?" Christina clarifies.

"If the rest are correct, then yes, most likely," I add. She nods her head at me.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, especially you, Tris," Marlene says. "After all, you have just as much a chance as being paired up with Four as you have with Chris, maybe even better."

I don't even have to look to know she has a smirk on her face. And I won't look because I'm too busy with my hands pressed to my face — cheeks in particular — trying to cool it down and hide in order to get rid of the flushed feeling.

Once I finally cool down, I reply, "he's a member of the opposite sex. School policies will _ensure_ we don't meet up, especially alone in a hotel room on a field trip."

Her exact response is a shrug. Just a shrug.

Well, at least she isn't doing or saying anything else blush-worthy.

"Hey, Stiff!" I wince at the voice that could only belong to one person.

"What the hell do you want Peter?" I snarl.

He makes a tsk noise and scoots in next to me. A little too close for my liking. "Feisty, I see. I like it. So, anyways, I figured I may have given you too long of a time without me, and seeing how you're a faithful little slut — "

I scoff. "You may have to expand your vocabulary, Peter. I know you're in ninth grade like myself, but that gives you no excuse to associate the meaning of slut with the meaning of prude. They mean two very different things. It's not like saying Peter and idiot because those two _actually_ have the same definition," I smirk.

He points a finger at me. "You little asshole," he seethes through his clenched teeth.

I just stare at him and smirk, defiant.

"Watch your back, pipsqueak," he tells me whilst standing up. He goes back where he was before. See, I would normally say "he goes back where he came from" but he's not in Hell right now so...

I roll my eyes at his threat. But even though I seem alright on the surface, I actually feel like puking.  
+++

"Everybody off the bus. Now. Come on," Tori yells, gesturing us all off. She thanks the driver and heads to the front of the group. She starts leading the way and we all follow without question.

Once we enter, I see a not-to-shabby hotel lobby. You can tell at first glance it isn't a five-star hotel, but it's not like _I_ mind. As long as it's secure and clean, it'll suffice. Tori marches towards the front desk and everybody suddenly gains smirks. All the people who've done this before, Tori, and the receptionist.

"So, I see you're back. Let me know how the tradition goes, okay?" The lady at the receptionist says, handing Tori a lot of room keys.

"We will, don't worry," Tori replies, accepting the keys.

The woman smiles and waves at us all as we head away from the front desk and further into the lobby.

"Before I hand out the room keys and you delinquents find out your assigned partner," Tori chuckles at her tease to us, "I think a few of the newbies should be introduced to someone." She grabs a guy's arm and pulls him to the front of the crowd.

A young man walks up, and it is quiet enough that I can hear his footsteps. His face is pierced in so many places I lose count, and his hair is long, dark, and greasy. But that isn't what makes him look menacing. It is the coldness of his eyes as they sweep across the room. Finally, they land on me. He looks from me, to Four, then back at me.

"Ooh, the Stiff," says Eric, smirking at me. His smile pulls at the piercings in his lips, making the holes they occupy wider, and I wince. "We'll see how long you last."

I mean to say something—to assure him that I _will_ last, maybe—but words fail me. I don't understand why, but I don't want Eric to look at me any longer than he already has. I don't want him to look at me ever again.

He cracks his knuckles. His knuckles are scabbed over, right where they would split if he punched something too hard. He strides towards Four.

"What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks.

Four lifts a shoulder. "Nothing, really," he says.

Are they friends? My eyes flick between Eric and Four. Everything Eric did—striding toward Four, asking about him—suggests that they are, but the way Four is, tense as pulled wire, suggests they are something else. Rivals, maybe, but how could that be when Four is probably everything our shallow generation strives to be? _And gets all the girls he wants?_ I think bitterly.

The rings in Eric's eyebrow catch the light. Maybe Eric perceives Four as a potential threat to his position. My father says that those who want power and get it live in terror of losing it. That's why we have to give power to those who do not want it.

The only thing I'm not sure of is, _what_ is his position? And for whom?

He claps Four on the shoulder, a little too hard, and gets up. When he walks away, I slouch immediately. I had not realized that I was so tense.

I walk over to where Four is standing. "Are you two...friends?" I say, unable to contain my curiosity.

"We were in the same initiate class," he says. I raise my eyebrow, questioningly.

He isn't sure as to what I'm confused about at first, but then he seems to realize. "Over here, we call the first year of high school, ninth grade, the 'initiate year', and since Eric and me were placed in the same homeroom, and had most classes together, we were in the same initiate class."

"Oh."  
+++

After chatting and just hanging out for a half hour, Tori finally decides to give us our room keys and reveal our assigned partners.

She has a sheet in her hand and is calling out names and pointing all at once. "Okay, so Will...you have been assigned with Al." She looks at them with the sheet still raised to her face.

Ha. Funny thing. We all totally forgot about Al. _I feel so guilty..._

As if being able to read my thoughts, Al speaks, "Ya. You guys all forgot about me. Well, unfortunately for you, I'm still here." His voice is monotone, and it doesn't help with the immense guilt stabs being thrown at me. It also gives me an eerie feeling. It's like he's insinuating something.

Will claps him on the shoulder. "Sorry, Al. But, hey, we're going to have a blast in the short span of time we are here." Will grabs Al's arm and drags him to their room, I'm guessing.

Tori's eyes scan the room. They finally settle on Marlene. She looks back down at her paper. "Marlene and Lynn, you'll be sharing a room." She hands them the keys. I look towards Lynn and she has that previous twinkle in her eye. Marlene just keeps saying how they're going to have so much fun together, which really doesn't help conceal the obvious glint in Lynn's eyes.

"Tris and Christina," Tori says, barely looking at us, and only because she needs to hand us our keys.

I grab them and Chris and I start to head to our room.

"So, what should we do first?" I ask her, trying to make small talk.

"I don't know about you," she jumps onto her bed, "but I _really_ just want to sleep."

I have to agree with her on that one. I head to the bathroom to change into my pajamas, hoping I'll wake up before Christina and if I don't, she will not pull my blanket(s) off of me. Believe it or not, I actually had spare pajamas in my school bag. Don't know why, really, but it sure came in handy. And I really don't understand why I'm taking this chance with my pajamas, but all I know is I won't be able to sleep if I'm not in them. I make sure to wear sweatpants and not just the shirt this time, though. _Not that it helps..._

Once I'm finished changing, I dive straight under the covers and let my head hit the pillow...


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay so I'm reading a novel (it's an interpretation of the Iliad) about Greek mythology in class and apparently the goddess of discord is Eris, which is also the shipping of Eric and Tris which I absolutely do not like AT ALL so this was very convenient for me...how their ship name-or them as a couple, really-literally represents ****the goddess of discord. And then when my teacher was describing the city of Troy and how it has strong walls guarding it she actually said that it has fortresses around it and I immediately thought about Fourtris. See that? Fourtris revolves around protection, safety, and all things perfect. *smiles really big***

**Anyway, this chapter was literally stolen from Veronica Roth...well, not exactly stolen. I told you, I was going to take parts from the book. So yeah, this chapter is Chapter 12 from Divergent. I made very few changes but IT IS STRICTLY VERONICA ROTH'S CHAPTER! I put it in caps and at the bottom so it'd actually catch your attention... ; )**

**THIS IS VERONICA ROTH'S CHAPTER 12 FROM DIVERGENT.  
+++**

**Part 2:**

The second I touch my head to the pillow, the door to the room opens, and people stream into the room with flashlights. I sit up, almost hitting my head on the bed frame above me, and squint through the dark to see what's going on.

"Everybody up!" someone roars. A flashlight shines behind his head, making the rings in his ears glint. Eric. Surrounding him are other students, some of whom I have seen at school, some of whom I have never seen before. Four stands among them.

His eyes shift to mine and stay there. I stare back and forget that all around me there is commotion.

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" demands Eric. I snap out of my daze and slide out from beneath the blankets. I am glad I slept fully clothed, because Christina stands next to our bunk wearing only a T-shirt, her long legs bare. She folds her arms and stares at Eric. I wish, suddenly, that I could stare so boldly at someone with hardly any clothes on, but I would never be able to do that.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," says Eric. "We're going on another field trip."

They all start to exit the room, but Four seems to linger a little. That's when I realize: he saw me wearing his shirt as sleep-wear. He's _seeing_ me wear his shirt as sleep-wear. _Oh great..._

I shove my feet into shoes and sprint, wincing, behind Christina on the way to the train. A drop of sweat rolls down the back of my neck as we run up the paths along the walls of the streets, pushing past people on our way. They don't seem surprised to see us. I wonder how familiar everybody in this area seems to be with the tradition.

We make it to the tracks just behind the other "initiates". Next to the tracks is a black pile. I make out a cluster of long gun barrels and trigger guards.

"Are we going to _shoot_ something?" Christina hisses in my ear.

Next to the pile are boxes of what looks like ammunition. I inch closer to read one of the boxes. Written on it is "PAINTBALLS." I've heard of them before but never really understood the purpose, but I will now. I can't help but think how self-explanatory the name is. I laugh.

"Everyone grab a gun!" shouts Eric.

We rush toward the pile. I am the closest to it, so I snatch the first gun I can find, which is heavy, but not too heavy for me to lift, and grab a box of paintballs. I shove the box in my pocket and sling the gun across my back so the strap crosses my chest.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

Four checks his watch. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" says Eric, shoving Four's shoulder.

A circle of light appears on my left, far away. It grows larger as it comes closer, shining against the side of Four's face, creating a shadow in the faint hollow beneath his cheekbone.

He is the first to get on the train, and I run after him, not waiting for Christina or Will or Al to follow me. I cannot believe I'm actually chasing after a running train, though, and expect to get on without it stopping...I guess this is what an initiate learns. Four turns around as I fall into stride next to the car and holds out a hand. I grab his arm, and he pulls me in. Even the muscles in his forearm are taut, defined.

I let go quickly, without looking at him, and sit down on the other side of the car.

I have absolutely no idea how I did that, especially seeing as how I had no real example since Four was too perfect at it. I guess I just went with my gut.

Once everybody is in, Four speaks up.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members and initiates. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways, and Four grabs the side of the doorway for balance. "This is a Divergent High tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" someone shouts.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Divergent High would ask," says Four, raising an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," says Eric. He looks at Four. "Let's divide up initiates first, shall we?"

I tilt my head back. If they're picking us, I will be chosen last; I can feel it.

"You go first," Four says.

Eric shrugs. "Edward."

Four leans against the door frame and nods. The moonlight makes his eyes bright. He scans the group of initiates briefly, without calculation, and says, "I want the Stiff."

A faint undercurrent of laughter fills the car. Heat rushes into my cheeks. I don't know whether to be angry at the people laughing at me or flattered by the fact that he chose me first.

"Got something to prove?" asks Eric, with his trademark smirk. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

Four shrugs. "Something like that."

Angry. I should definitely be angry. I scowl at my hands. Whatever Four's strategy is, it's based on the idea that I am weaker than the other initiates. And it gives me a bitter taste in my mouth. I have to prove him wrong—I _have_ to.

"Your turn," says Four.

"Peter."

"Christina."

That throws a wrench in his strategy. Christina is not one of the weak ones. What exactly is he doing?

"Molly."

"Will," says Four, biting his thumbnail.

"Al."

"Drew."

They rattle off more names, but I've already stopped listening.

"Last one left is Myra. So she's with me," says Eric. "Members next."

I stop listening again once they're finished with us. If Four isn't trying to prove something by choosing the weak, what is he doing? I look at each person he chooses. What do we have in common?

Once they're halfway through the members, I have an idea of what it is. With the exception of Will and a couple of the others, we all share the same body type: narrow shoulders, small frame. All the people on Eric's team are broad and strong. We will all be faster than Eric's team, which will probably be good for capture the flag—I haven't played before, but I know it's a game of speed rather than brute force. I cover a smile with my hand. Eric is more ruthless than Four, but Four is smarter.

They finish choosing teams, and Eric smirks at Four.

"Your team can get off second," says Eric.

"Don't do me any favors," Four replies. He smiles a little. "You know I don't need them to win."

"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off," says Eric, biting down briefly on one of the rings in his lip. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

We all stand up. Al gives me a forlorn look, and I smile back in what I hope is a reassuring way. A part of me still despises him, but the guilt for having forgotten him completely had won in the end. If any of the four of us had to end up on the same team as Eric, Peter, and Molly, at least it was him. They usually leave him alone.

The train is about to dip to the ground. I am determined to land on my feet.

Just before I jump, someone shoves my shoulder, and I almost topple out of the train car. I don't look back to see who it is—Molly, Drew, or Peter, it doesn't matter which one. Before they can try it again, I jump. This time I am ready for the momentum the train gives me, and I run a few steps to diffuse it but keep my balance. Fierce pleasure courses through me and I smile. It's a small accomplishment, but it makes me feel Dauntless.

After all, I just jumped off of a moving train.

Marlene touches Four's shoulder and asks, "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," he says coolly.

"Come on, Four," she whines. She gives him a flirtatious smile. I hiccup. Thank goodness nobody seemed to have heard it. He brushes her hand off his arm, and for some reason, I find myself grinning.

"Navy Pier," Uriah calls out. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel." He claps Zeke on the back, and Zeke puts his face in his hands.

"Let's go there, then," suggests Will.

No one objects, so we walk east, toward the marsh that was once a lake. When I was young, I tried to imagine what it would look like as a lake, with no fence built into the mud to keep the city safe. But it is difficult to imagine that much water in one place.

"We're close to Erudite headquarters, right?" asks Christina, bumping Will's shoulder with her own.

"Yeah. It's south of here," he says.

We walk across the bridge. We still need the bridges because the mud beneath them is too wet to walk on. I wonder how long it's been since the river dried up.

Once we cross the bridge, the city changes. Behind us, most of the buildings were in use, and even if they weren't, they looked well-tended. In front of us is a sea of crumbling concrete and broken glass. The silence of this part of the city is eerie; it feels like a nightmare. It's hard to see where I'm going, because it's after midnight and all the city lights are off.

Marlene takes out a flashlight and shines it at the street in front of us.

"Scared of the dark, Mar?" Uri teases.

"If you want to step on broken glass, Uriah, be my guest," she snaps. But she turns it off anyway.

I have realized that part of being Dauntless is being willing to make things more difficult for yourself in order to be self-sufficient. There's nothing especially brave about wandering dark streets with no flashlight, but we are not supposed to need help, even from light. We are supposed to be capable of anything. Again, the "factions" thing is just complicated. Maybe for another time, though.

Back to what we were talking about, I like that. Because there might come a day when there is no flashlight, there is no gun, there is no guiding hand. And I want to be ready for it.

The buildings end just before the marsh. A strip of land juts out into the marsh, and rising from it is a giant white wheel with dozens of red passenger cars dangling from it at regular intervals. The Ferris wheel.

"Think about it. People ride that thing. For _fun_," says Will, shaking his head.

"They must be Dauntless," I joke.

"Yeah, but a lame version of Dauntless." Christina laughs. "A Dauntless Ferris wheel wouldn't have cars. You would just hang on tight with your hands, and good luck to you."

We walk down the side of the pier. All the buildings on my left are empty, their signs torn down and their windows closed, but it is a clean kind of emptiness. Whoever left these places left them by choice and at their leisure. Some places in the city are not like that.

"Dare you to jump into the marsh," says Christina to Will.

"You first."

We reach the carousel. Some of the horses are scratched and weathered, their tails broken off or their saddles chipped. Four takes the flag out of his pocket.

"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location," he says. "I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

He is right about that. What good is a prepared body if you have a scattered mind?

Will takes the flag from Four.

"Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location," Will says.

"Yeah? You think?" Marlene plucks the flag from Will's fingers. "Who put you in charge, Nose?"

"No one," says Will. "But someone's got to do it."

"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," suggests Christina.

"That's the sissy way out," Uriah says. "I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."

Everyone bursts into the conversation at once, their voices louder with each passing second. Christina defends Will's plan; the other initiates vote for offense; everyone argues about who should make the decision. Four sits down on the edge of the carousel, leaning against a plastic horse's foot. His eyes lift to the sky, where there are no stars, only a round moon peeking through a thin layer of clouds. The muscles in his arms are relaxed; his hand rests on the back of his neck. He looks almost comfortable, holding that gun to his shoulder.

I close my eyes briefly. Why does he distract me so easily? I need to focus. What would I say if I could shout above the sniping behind me? We can't act until we know where the other team is. They could be anywhere within a two-mile radius, although I can rule out the empty marsh as an option. The best way to find them is not to argue about how to search for them, or how many to send out in a search party.

It's to climb as high as possible.

I look over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching. None of them look at me, so I walk toward the Ferris wheel with light, quiet footsteps, pressing my gun to my back with one hand to keep it from making noise.

When I stare up at the Ferris wheel from the ground, my throat feels tighter. It is taller than I thought, so tall I can barely see the cars swinging at the top. The only good thing about its height is that it is built to support weight. If I climb it, it won't collapse beneath me.

My heart pumps faster. Will I really risk my life for this—to win a game Divergents like to play?

It's so dark I can barely see them, but when I stare at the huge, rusted supports holding the wheel in place, I see the rungs of a ladder. Each support is only as wide as my shoulders, and there are no railings to hold me in, but climbing a ladder is better than climbing the spokes of the wheel.

I grab a rung. It's rusty and thin and feels like it might crumble in my hands. I put my weight on the lowest rung to test it and jump to make sure it will hold me up. The movement hurts my ribs, and I wince.

"Tris," a low voice says behind me. I don't know why it doesn't startle me. Maybe because I am becoming Dauntless, and mental readiness is something I am supposed to develop. Maybe because his voice is low and smooth and almost soothing. Whatever the reason, I look over my shoulder. Four stands behind me with his gun slung across his back, just like mine.

"Yes?" I say.

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I'm seeking higher ground," I say. "I don't _think_ I'm doing anything."

I see his smile in the dark. "All right. I'm coming."

I pause a second. He doesn't look at me the way Will, Christina, and Al sometimes do—like I am too small and too weak to be of any use, and they pity me for it. But if he insists on coming with me, it is probably because he doubts me.

"I'll be fine," I say.

"Undoubtedly," he replies. I don't hear the sarcasm, but I know it's there. It has to be.

I climb, and when I'm a few feet off the ground, he comes after me. He moves faster than I do, and soon his hands find the rungs that my feet leave.

"So tell me...," he says quietly as we climb. He sounds breathless. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."

I stare down at the pavement. It seems far away now, but I'm not even a third of the way up. Above me is a platform, just below the center of the wheel. That's my destination. I don't even think about how I will climb back down. The breeze that brushed my cheeks earlier now presses against my side. The higher we go, the stronger it will get. I need to be ready.

"Learning about strategy," I say. "Teamwork, maybe."

"Teamwork," he repeats. A laugh hitches in his throat. It sounds like a panicked breath.

"Maybe not," I say. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

The wind is stronger now. I press closer to the white support so I don't fall, but that makes it hard to climb. Below me the carousel looks small. I can barely see my team under the awning. Some of them are missing—a search party must have left.

Four says, "It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."

But I'm not really listening, because the height is dizzying. My hands ache from holding the rungs, and my legs are shaking, but I'm not sure why. It isn't the height that scares me—the height makes me feel alive with energy, every organ and vessel and muscle in my body singing at the same pitch.

Then I realize what it is. It's him. Something about him makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.

My hand almost misses the next rung.

"Now tell me...," he says through a bursting breath, "what do you think learning strategy has to do with...bravery?"

The question reminds me that he is supposed to be teaching me something, and I am supposed to learn something from this. A cloud passes over the moon, and the light shifts across my hands.

"It...it prepares you to act," I say finally. "You learn strategy so you can use it." I hear him breathing behind me, loud and fast. "Are you all right, Four?"

"Are you _human_, Tris? Being up this high..." He gulps for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

I look over my shoulder at the ground. If I fall now, I will die. But I don't think I will fall.

A gust of air presses against my left side, throwing my body weight to the right. I gasp and cling to the rungs, my balance shifting. Four's cold hand clamps around one of my hips, one of his fingers finding a strip of bare skin just under the hem of my T-shirt. He squeezes, steadying me and pushing me gently to the left, restoring my balance.

Now _I_ can't breathe. I pause, staring at my hands, my mouth dry. I feel the ghost of where his hand was, his fingers long and narrow.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I say, my voice strained.

I keep climbing, silently, until I reach the platform. Judging by the blunted ends of metal rods, it used to have railings, but it doesn't anymore. I sit down and scoot to the end of it so Four has somewhere to sit. Without thinking, I put my legs over the side. Four, however, crouches and presses his back to the metal support, breathing heavily.

"You're afraid of heights," I say. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear," he says. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

I stare at him for a second. I can't help it. To me there's a difference between not being afraid and acting in spite of fear, as he does.

I have been staring at him too long.

"What?" he says quietly.

"Nothing."

I look away from him and toward the city. I have to focus. I climbed up here for a reason.

The city is pitch-black, but even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see very far. A building stands in my way.

"We're not high enough," I say. I look up. Above me is a tangle of white bars, the wheel's scaffolding. If I climb carefully, I can wedge my feet between the supports and the crossbars and stay secure. Or as secure as possible.

"I'm going to climb," I say, standing up. I grab one of the bars above my head and pull myself up.

"For God's sake, Stiff," he says.

"You don't have to follow me," I say, starting at the maze of bars above me. I shove my foot onto the place where two bars cross and push myself up, grabbing another bar in the process. I sway for a second, my heart beating so hard I can't feel anything else. Every thought I have condenses into that heartbeat, moving at the same rhythm.

"Yes, I do," he says.

This is crazy, and I know it. A fraction of an inch of mistake, half a second of hesitation, and my life is over. Heat tears through my chest, and I smile as I grab the next bar. I pull myself up, my arms shaking, and force my leg under me so I'm standing on another bar. When I feel steady, I look down at Four. But instead of seeing him, I see straight to the ground.

I can't breathe.

I imagine my body plummeting, smacking into the bars as it falls down, and my limbs at broken angles on the pavement, just like Rita's sister when she didn't make it onto the roof. Four grabs a bar with each hand and pulls himself up, easy, like he's sitting up in bed. But he is not comfortable or natural here—every muscle in his arm stands out. It is a stupid thing for me to think when I am one hundred feet off the ground.

I grab another bar, find another place to wedge my foot. When I look at the city again, the building isn't in my way. I'm high enough to see the skyline. Most of the buildings are black against a navy sky, but the red lights at the top of the Hub are lit up. They blink half as fast as my heartbeat.

Beneath the buildings, the streets look like tunnels. For a few seconds I see only a dark blanket over the land in front of me, just faint differences between building and sky and street and ground. Then I see a tiny pulsing light on the ground.

"See that?" I say, pointing.

Four stops climbing when he's right behind me and looks over my shoulder, his chin next to my head. His breaths flutter against my ear, and I feel shaky again, like I did when I was climbing the ladder.

"Yeah," he says. A smile spreads over his face.

"It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," he says. "Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

"Okay," I say. I look over my shoulder at him. We are so close I forget where I am; instead I notice that the corners of his mouth turn down naturally, just like mine, and that he has a scar on his chin.

"Um," I say. I clear my throat. "Start climbing down. I'll follow you."

Four nods and steps down. His leg is so long that he finds a place for his foot easily and guides his body between the bars. Even in darkness, I see that his hands are bright red and shaking.

I step down with one foot, pressing my weight into one of the crossbars. The bar creaks beneath me and comes loose, clattering against half a dozen bars on the way down and bouncing on the pavement. I'm dangling from the scaffolding with my toes swinging in midair. A strangled gasp escapes me.

"Four!"

I try to find another place to put my foot, but the nearest foothold is a few feet away, farther than I can stretch. My hands are sweaty. I remember wiping them on my slacks before the Choosing Ceremony, before the aptitude test, before every important moment, and suppress a scream. I will slip. I will slip.

"Hold on!" he shouts. "Just hold on, I have an idea."

He keeps climbing down. He's moving in the wrong direction; he should be coming toward me, not going away from me. I stare at my hand, which are wrapped around the narrow bar so tightly my knuckles are white. My fingers are dark red, almost purple. They won't last long.

I won't last long.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Better not to look. Better to pretend that none of this exists. I hear Four's sneakers squeak against metal and rapid footsteps on ladder rungs.

"Four!" I yell. Maybe he left. Maybe he abandoned me. Maybe this is a test of my strength, of my bravery. I breathe in my nose and out my mouth. I count my breaths to calm down. One, two. In, out. _Come on, Four_ is all I can think. _Come on, do something._

Then I hear something wheeze and creak. The bar I'm holding shudders, and I scream through my clenched teeth as I fight to keep my grip.

The wheel is moving.

Air wraps around my ankles and wrists as the wind gushes up, like a geyser. I open my eyes. I'm moving—toward the ground. I laugh, giddy with hysteria as the ground comes closer and closer. But I'm picking up speed. If I don't drop at the right time, the moving cars and metal scaffolding will drag at my body and carry me with them, and then I will really die.

Every muscle in my body tenses as I hurtle toward the ground. When I can see the cracks in the sidewalk, I drop, and my body slams into the ground, feet first. My legs collapse beneath me and I pull my arms in, rolling as fast as I can to the side. The cement scrapes my face, and I turn just in time to see a car bearing down on me, like a giant shoe about to crush me. I roll again, and the bottom of the car skims my shoulder.

I'm safe.

I press my palms to my face. I don't try to get up. If I did, I'm sure I would just fall back down. I hear footsteps, and Four's hands wrap around my wrists. I let him pry my hands from my eyes.

He encloses one of my hands perfectly between two of his. The warmth of his skin overwhelms the ache in my fingers from holding the bars.

"You all right?" he asks, pressing our hands together.

"Yeah."

He starts to laugh.

After a second, I laugh too. With my free hand, I push myself to a sitting position. I am aware of how little space there is between us—six inches at most. That space feels charged with electricity. I feel like it should be smaller.

He stands, pulling me up with him. The wheel is still moving, creating a wind that tosses my hair back.

"You could have told me that the Ferris wheel still worked," I say. I try to sound casual. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."

"I would have, if I had known," he says. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag."

Four hesitates for a moment and then takes my arm, his fingertips pressing to the inside of my elbow. In other factions, he would give me time to recover, but he is Dauntless, so he smiles at me and starts toward the carousel, where our team members guard our flag. And I half run, half limp beside him. I still feel weak, but my mind is awake, especially with his hand on me.

Christina is perched on one of the horses, her long legs crossed and her hand around the pole holding the plastic animal upright. Our flag is behind her, a glowing triangle in the dark. Three initiates stand among the other worn and dirty animals. One of them has his hand on a horse's head, and a scratched horse eye stares at me between his fingers. Sitting on the edge of the carousel is an older member, scratching her quadruple-pierced eyebrow with her thumb.

"Where'd the others go?" asks Four.

He looks as excited as I feel, his eyes wide with energy.

"Did you guys turn on the wheel?" the older girl says. "What the hell are you thinking? You might as well have just shouted 'Here we are! Come and get us!'" She shakes her head. "If I lose again this year, the shame will be unbearable. Three years in a row?"

"The wheel doesn't matter," says Four. "We know where they are."

"We?" says Christina, looking from Four to me.

"Yes, while the rest of you were twiddling your thumbs, Tris climbed the Ferris wheel to look for the other team," he says.

"What do we do now, then?" asks one of the initiates through a yawn.

Four looks at me. Slowly the eyes of the other initiates, including Christina, migrate from him to me. I tense my shoulders, about to shrug and say I don't know, and then an image of the pier stretching out beneath me comes into my mind. I have an idea.

"Split in half," I say. "Four of us go to the right side of the pier, three to the left. The other team is in the park at the end of the pier, so the group of four will charge as the group of three sneaks behind the other team to get the flag."

Christina looks at me like she no longer recognizes me. I don't blame her.

"Sounds good," says the older girl, clapping her hands together. "Let's get this night over with, shall we?"

Christina joins me in the group going to the right, along with Uriah, whose smile looks white against his skin's bronze. I didn't notice before, but he has a tattoo of a snake behind his ear. I stare at its tail curling around his earlobe for a moment, but then Christina starts running and I have to follow her. I have to run twice as fast to match my short strides to her long ones. As I run, I realize that only one of us will get to touch the flag, and it won't matter that it was my plan and my information that got us to it if I'm not the one who grabs it. Though I can hardly breathe as it is, I run faster, and I'm on Christina's heels. I pull my gun around my body, holding my finger over the trigger.

We reach the end of the pier, and I clamp my mouth shut to keep my loud breaths in. We slow down so our footsteps aren't as loud, and I look for the blinking light again. Now that I'm on the ground, it's bigger and easier to see. I point, and Christina nods, leading the way toward it.

Then I hear a chorus of yells, so loud they make me jump. I hear puffs of air as paintballs go flying and splats as they find their targets. Our team has charged, the other team runs to meet us, and the flag is almost unguarded. Uriah takes aim and shoots the last guard in the thigh. The guard, a short girl with purple hair, throws her gun to the ground in a tantrum.

I sprint to catch up to Christina. The flag hands from a tree branch, high above my head. I reach for it, and so does Christina.

"Come on, Tris," she says. "You're already the hero of the day. And you know you can't reach it anyway."

She gives me a patronizing look, the way people sometimes look at children when they act too adult, and snatches the flag from the branch. Without looking at me, she turns and gives a whoop of victory. Uriah's voice joins hers and then I hear a chorus of yells in the distance.

Uriah claps my shoulder, and I try to forget about the look Christina gave me. Maybe she's right; I've already proved myself today. I do not want to be greedy; I do not want to be like Eric, terrified of other people's strength.

The shouts of triumph become infectious, and I lift my voice to join in, running toward my teammates. Christina holds the flag up high, and everyone clusters around her, grabbing her arm to lift the flag even higher. I can't reach her, so I stand off to the side, grinning.

A hand touches my shoulder.

"Well done," Four says quietly.


	17. Chapter 17

**So the first part of this chapter is the beginning of Chapter 13 in Divergent, I think. All I remember is the first part of this chapter is from the book...the rest ****isn't. And you guys are probably either yelling profanities at me _now_, or will after reading the chapter. I had most of the chapter done like, Wednesday, but then something happened so I couldn't finish it this Friday and had to wait till tonight. ...Sorry?  
+++**

**Part 3:**

"I can't believe I missed it!" Will says again, shaking his head. Wind coming through the doorway of the train car blows his hair in every direction.

"You were performing the very important job of staying out of our way," says Christina, beaming.

Al groans. "Why did I have to be on the other team?"

"Because life's not fair, Albert. And the world is conspiring against you," says Will. "Hey, can I see the flag again?"

Peter, Molly, and Drew sit across from the members in the corner. Their chests and backs are splattered with blue and pink paint, and they look dejected. They speak quietly, sneaking looks at the rest of us, especially Christina. That is the benefit of not holding the flag right now—I am no one's target. Or at least, no more than usual.

"So you climbed the Ferris wheel, huh," says Zeke. He stumbles across the car and sits next to me. Shauna, his girlfriend, follows him.

"Yes," I say.

"Pretty smart of you. Like...Erudite smart," Shauna says. "I'm Shauna."

"Tris," I say. If Caleb were here, he'd object in less than a millisecond flat.

"Yeah, I know who you are," she says.

Zeke takes one of the paintballs from his gun and squeezes it between his thumb and index finger. The train lurches to the left, and Zeke falls against me, his fingers pinching the paintball until a stream of pink, foul-smelling paint sprays on my face.

Shauna collapses in giggles. I wipe some of the paint from my face, slowly, and then smear it on his cheek. The scent of fish oil wafts through the train car.

"Ew!" He squeezes the ball at me again, but the opening is at the wrong angle, and the paint sprays into his mouth instead. He coughs and makes exaggerated gagging sounds.

I wipe my face with my sleeve, laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

If my entire life is like this, loud laughter and bold action and the kind of exhaustion you feel after a hard but satisfying day, I will be content. As Zeke scrapes his tongue with his fingertips, I realize that that life _will_ be mine. I will make sure it is.  
+++

We all enter the hotel separated by what team we were on. Our team, whooping and hollering, with Christina in its center raising the flag high, and Eric's team, sneaking distasteful glances at us and looking pissed as hell, in a rush to get to their hotel room in order to hide their shame.

I look behind me and see Four advance towards Eric. He nudges Eric with his elbow, smiling, and Eric turns away, grunting in both frustration and annoyance. I can't hide the smile that spreads across my face.  
+++

I exit the bathroom right after stripping into my pajamas. As I check my bag to make sure I have all of my belongings, I hear a knock at the door. I wonder who it is.

Christina is busy at the after party that was thrown in honor of our team winning. Everyone can attend, winner or loser. I decided I wanted to get some sleep. I mean, with Zeke and Uri's party tonight and me not being a party-girl I don't think I could handle two parties in one day. Yes, it's about 1 AM in the morning. I'll be lucky if I can catch a few hours to sleep, really.

I head in the direction of the door. My eye finds its way to the peephole, and in one quick motion, I have the door open.

He scratches the back of his neck. "Hey," he says, eyes lifting to mine.

"What are you doing here, Four?" I laugh lightly.

He lets out a small chuckle, too. "May I come in?"

I step aside and gesture for him to enter. He takes a few steps, standing right in front of my bed, and waits for me to finish closing the door. I lock the door and place the chain for extra protection. Not because I think we'll need it, but because it's habit...and makes me feel more at ease.

"So," I advance a few steps, "what are you doing here?" I lean against the closet, with only a few feet between us.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Well, I realized I never properly congratulated you."

"And what exactly do you consider a proper congratulation?" I ask, making air quotes around "proper congratulation".

He looks down at his feet. "I won't do something you don't want, honest." He looks up at me. "But I _am_ hoping you don't mind company...even if it isn't your favorite."

I pretend to ponder that for a moment, tapping my chin for extra effect. "I suppose I won't mind company...even if it isn't my favorite," I smirk.

He takes a step towards me. "So, I'm welcome."

"I never said you were welcomed, I just said that you are accepted."

He takes another step towards me. "What do you want to do? I know neither of us will enjoy being bored in here doing nothing."

"We could climb another Ferris wheel..." I look at him and notice his face pale. I can't help but laugh. "I'm joking."

"I figured. But still, the memory..." he shudders.

I take a good look at him. "You're _that_ afraid of heights, huh?" I gnaw on my bottom lip.

"Not the heights," he says, looking away.

I rub my hands on my thighs, realizing I'm wearing his shirt...right in front of him. He obviously looked back in time to notice, too.

"Oh yeah. I forgot...you were wearing my shirt when we came to get you," he says, pointing at my shirt. "Do they work well as pajamas?" He seems amused.

I can't help the blush that washes over me. I put my hands to my cheeks in order to cool it down. "Sorry, it's just..." I fumble around, trying to come up with a believable excuse. "...the laundry was backed up, and so I decided to um...wear this."

"Really?" He picks at my shirt. "I thought you said you have no reason to wear it and never will." He pinches it this time.

"Hey," I complain. I move away from him while his hand was still sorta pinching it, and he gets a pretty good view of my bare legs. He retreats his hand and stands there with his mouth agape, staring at where his hand was. I mentally face-palm.

"Uh, sorry...er, I didn't mean to..." I trail off, wondering what I should say and what I want to say.

"You're wearing panties, right?" he asks.

I stare at him, shocked. How could he possible use the word so flippantly, especially with _me_? But then it occurs to me: this is Four. The all-around manwhore.

"I don't see how that is any of your concern," I reply, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Is it black?" he asks.

It takes me a few moments to realize what he means, but then it dawns on me. I punch him in the arm and he steps back.

"Okay, okay." He puts his hands up defensively.

I move a little closer towards him, and lean against the wall.

"Um, what are members?" I ask him.

He chuckles. "Do you not read the brochure they give you in the beginning of your first year?"

"There's a brochure?!"

His laughter fills the room this time. "Yes, and I guess I'll have to look over it sometime with you."

"I guess. You didn't really answer my question," I tell him.

The memory of me asking seems to hit him. "Oh yeah. Sorry," he says, scratching behind his ear. "Well, members are basically anyone who isn't experiencing their first year at the school. Mostly consists of people who aren't freshman. I told you earlier that initiates are freshmen...well, most are. Some initiates are in other grades. It all depends on how long you've been at the school."

"So, you're a member?"

He nods his head.

"And I'm going to go out on a whim here and say you're studying to be Dauntless."

He nods his head again. "But, I don't think it could actually be considered as 'studying', seeing how it is Dauntless," he says, finger-quoting "studying".

"What did you mean by teamwork not being a Dauntless priority?" I ask him.

He seems to evaluate his words before beginning his explanation. Once he is done evaluating, he replies, "you know how over time, something loses it authenticity?"

"Yes," I reply. "But what does that have anything to do with—"

He cuts me off, "well, over time, some of the factions have lost their true intentions."

I stumble for my words. That truly came as a shocker. "Do you mean, like, in school...or our whole city?"

He takes a good look at me. Then he starts, "it's not like factions are that important. It's not like society is divided into these five factions. We just have different groups of people living in different places. I mean, it's just like how people who live in the Upper South region are known for having southern accents. Like most truthful people live in Candor, the modest, selfless people live in Abnegation, daring and brave like to crash at Dauntless, and the peaceful, annoying assholes decide to stay in the Amity region of Chicago."

"Tobias, you don't need to explain everything to me. I was born here. I've been living here my whole entire life, _literally_," I tell him. "All I want to know is if the factions you were talking about are the ones from school or the ones in Chicago."

"It's mostly school, Tris," he says, putting his hands on my shoulders in an assuring way.

"Mostly?" I exclaim.

He looks away, with his hands still on my shoulders.

"Mostly?" I repeat.

He looks back at me, and he seems to soften. "It's not that big of a deal. But, yes, it does exist outside of school."

"Oh."

He backs away from me, just a few inches.

I want to ask him which factions. I want to ask him how they changed. But I don't think now is the time to talk about it.

"So you plan on living in the Dauntless faction?" I ask him, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah. I value their bravery." He doesn't elaborate, so I decide to just leave it at that. He turns towards me. "Which faction do _you_ plan on living in? Or do you want to live elsewhere, outside of Chicago?"

"I suppose Dauntless would be nice. And no, I'm in no urge to leave Chicago. I grew up here. Sure, maybe I don't have the best memories here, but I'd love to make new ones..._here_," I confess.

"I'd probably jump at any chance given to leave this place."

I immediately realize why. He wants to leave his father.

"Yeah. I understand completely."

I move to stand beside him and after a moment of hesitation, I decide to place my head on his shoulder. He doesn't seem to mind, really. In fact, it seems like he enjoys it. After the positive reaction, I also wrap my hands around his arm. He moves his head to kiss the top of mine, and then he rests his on top mine.

"I'd hate to ruin the moment but I just think you should know...if you keep up how you've been doing in the Dauntless compound at school, I'm sure you'll be able to make it into the _real_ Dauntless compound. Have you ever wondered where the Dauntless are?"

I know that last part is completely off-topic, but I'm curious. And in all the time I've known him, he's been the seriously mysterious-type. He's finally opening up and I'm finally caring. _Can you blame my curiosity?_

"Believe it or not, I actually know where the _real_ Dauntless compound is. It's amazing. If you'd like, I could show you sometime," he promises me.

I'm taken aback, so much that I remove my head from his embrace and just stare at him, shocked. "Really?" I whisper, unable to hide the shock from seeping into my voice and the smile from leaving my face.

He nods his head, smiling brightly right back at me. "Yeah," he whispers to me.

We're both standing there, looking into each other's eyes, smiling like ninnies. His eyes move down to my lips, and my smile disappears. My breath hitches in my throat, and my eyes travel lower, toward _his_ lips.

He starts leaning in closer, and at the last moment, I decide to also lean in a little. Our noses slide against each other, and right before our lips touch, he licks his lips...and we hear a knock on the door.

I break away with a sudden jolt of movement, and we stand there awkwardly.

"Um," I stutter, pointing toward the door, "I'm gonna get the door."

His only response is the hand signal where you put your middle and index finger together, with your thumb leaning slightly towards them. Most of the time it's to dismiss something...sorta. _I wish I knew what the signal was called._

I open the door and am utterly astonished at what I see. It's Nita...with her hand at the top of the doorframe, her arm taking up the whole doorframe opposite the one where the door's hinges are attached. Another thing that I really don't want to mention because it produces a bile taste in my mouth but I probably should, she's wearing lingerie. _Why the hell is she wearing lingerie at _my_ door?_

I stumble for my words. "I don't even know where to start with _this_," I reply neutrally. I gesture toward her...body—that is showing _way too much skin_ for my liking. Not that I ever really enjoy her company. "But all I can say about _this_," I gesture toward her...body...again, "is that it's absolutely disgusting...and unwelcome."

I attempt to close the door but she doesn't let me. "Well, _you_ might not like an actual work of art—or a curvy, sexy body—but Four over there, obviously does," she says, smirking at me.

I'm taken aback for a moment. "What-what do you mean?" My voice wavers.

Four runs towards us and cuts in. "Nothing," he says, standing between Nita and me, his back to her.

"Aw, Four. It's sweet you want to spare her feelings, but she deserves to know the truth," she purrs. She presses her body against his back, and starts stroking his head. He flinches away from her, towards me. I step back from him.

"And what exactly _is_ the truth?" I ask emotionless.

"Nothing, she just—"

Nita cuts Four off, "he's been seeing me. So you might want to back off, you slut."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Are you aware of how much of a hypocrite you sound like?" She shrugs. "Anyway, why are you even at _my_ door? Why not _his_? You're with _him_, after all," I question.

Four tries to protest but I raise a hand to cut him off.

"Well, you see, I went to his door but Zeke told me he wasn't there." She turns to Four. "By the way, you might want to get a new best friend, he was totally checking me out, trying to do things with me," she pouts. I can't help the eye-roll I perform. She turns back to me. "Anyway, Zeke told me he'd be here—"

"That's a lie," Four outrages. "Zeke knew _exactly_ what I was doing, and he'd never betray me like that."

"Whatever," Nita says, rolling her eyes. "I figured he'd be here, with the boyfriend-stealing-slut—"

"Again, hypocrisy," I tell her. "And I'm not you. Stop acting like I am."

"Will you people stop cutting me off? Gosh," she pouts like a five-year-old. It's really annoying. "Back to what I was saying, I figured he'd be here and so I decided to come here. And here I am...taking my guy back," she tells us, pulling him by the collar of his shirt.

"I'm not your guy," he deadpans. He also resists her urging...and pulling. "Listen, Tris—"

"Save it. Why don't you guys just go back to your hotel room and fuck your eyeballs out all night? It's not like I matter," I cut him off.

He opens his mouth to protest again but Nita tugs on his shirt. He's about to resist again, but notices the stubborn look on my face, and gives in. It also probably is because I make a move to close the door on them.

Assholes.  
+++

I make my way to the lobby where the party is being hosted. I weave through the crowd, searching for my friends. Finally, I spot Uriah with his back to me. I tap him on the shoulder and he turns around.

"Hey," I tell him.

"Hey," he replies, opening his arms for me, obviously offering a hug. I hug him and take a seat next to my other friends on the couch.

"What are you doing here? I thought you said you weren't coming," Christina asks—though more like "interrogates"—me.

"Yeah. I was trying to go to sleep, but I just couldn't. Therefore, I decided I'd come join you all," I answer her. I look at all of them. "Is that a problem?"

Will steps in, removing his arm from Christina's shoulder. "What would be a problem and why?"

"My coming here. I wouldn't have wanted to intrude on anything," I tell them all honestly.

Will is about to reply, but Uriah cuts him off. "Of course there's no problem with you coming here. Why would there be? After all, you're the real reason we won."

I can't help but feel a little upset over his last statement. I know he meant it with good intentions, and probably doesn't think anything of it, but that obviously won't stop the uncomfortable feeling washing over me. He's right, though. I am the _real_ reason. But, does it really matter? In the end, Christina grabbed the flag. The glory went to her. So really, it doesn't matter that I came up with the mastermind plan, it only matters that she got the flag. But it can't be undone, and even if we were given the chance to change it, I don't think it'd be any different. Christina was determined to rip off other people's hard work and steal the glory for herself. I just have to look on the bright side. I guess in the long run, Four was right. Mental preparedness is a vital part of Dauntless training, which we are all doing. It's a vital part of any training, though. Not just Dauntless. I have the mental preparedness, and I may not have the best physical preparedness, but I do have some and that will suffice. Christina only expressed that she has the physical element down when she snatched the flag and the glory.

"Yeah, he's right, Tris. You're a huge reason for this party. And now that you're here, it's better. Why would we not want you here, though?" Will adds to what Uri said.

How you ever thought how it was funny that a thought processes so quickly and you understand everything the millisecond it is processed? And how when you have a complex thought it seems like it takes longer to process? How if you were in the middle of a conversation, by the time your thought is finished processing, you suppose the time limit for replying to the last thing someone said is over, yet when you get snapped back into reality, you realize the amount of time isn't really as inappropriate as you supposed?

It takes me a moment to reply. "I don't know. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't intruding on anything. And thank you. That's very sweet of you both." They nod their heads at me.

"I forgot to congratulate you guys on winning. I was so busy complaining about being on the other team that I didn't..." Al trails off, look in the opposite direction.

"It's alright—," I start.

Christina cuts me off, "but thanks. That's very nice of you. I'm sorry we couldn't be on the same team, though."

I can't help but want to smack her a little. Not because she so rudely cut me off, but because the way she speaks. It's the way she says "we", almost as if she means only the both of them. Like she was the "real deal" of our team; as if she was trying to insinuate that if we had her, we'd be fine.

"I wish we were on the same team, too," he replies tentatively. "By the way, Tris, can I talk to you?"

I glare daggers at him. Everybody may think I'm over what happened between him and me, but they don't really know the extent of _him_. He sends me a pleading look, but so far, I'm not really interested in budging.

Christina, of course, comes to the rescue...just like she has these past few moments.

"Trissy, go on. You need to get out more. Especially with guys," she says—for everyone to hear, might I add—, and wiggles her eyebrows. Everyone who's attention she's attracted, laughs.

I hear footsteps heading toward me, but I decide to leave with Al before this gets either to suspicious because I won't or before it gets too embarrassing because everyone was staring at me to. He realizes I've made the decision to go with him and starts leading me out...with an unsettling smile. We make it out of the hotel, standing directly in front of the doors leading to the entrance.

"So," I kick at the pavement beneath my feet, "what did you want to talk about?"

He lifts my chin up from looking at the pavement, and I bat his hand away.

"Before I offer you a deal of strictly friendship, I just wanted to know: do I have any chance with you?" he asks.

I pretend to check within every part of my body. I don't know why I do this, maybe it's to make it easier for him. After I'm done pretend-checking, I answer him, "I'm afraid most likely not."

He looks hopeful all of a sudden. _Shit, what did I say? _"You said 'most likely'. So, I have a chance, I'm hearing."

"O—" I stop, putting my hand to stop him but also stopping what I was saying. After rethinking my words, I realize they're alright to use. "Oh Al. I only said 'most likely' because, well, I don't know what'll happen in the future. Maybe I'll develop feelings for you in the future, I don't know. But I wouldn't get hopeful...not one bit," I put my index finger and thumb close together to imitate the "bit" part, "because it's most likely not happening. I can check every part of my body and none of it thinks of you like that. The only positive feelings I have toward you are friendly..._absolutely, strictly platonic_."

Al places his hands in his pockets. "Like you said, 'I don't know what'll happen in the future.' You're right. We don't know. So, I'm not giving up on you." He takes his hands out of his pockets and reaches for me.

"No," I say, backing away from him. "Don't touch me."

He smirks at me. It gives me an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Al, please stop. I'm not falling for you. I probably never will. Just give up," I tell him, exasperated.

He looks away from me. "Fine," he snaps, looking back at me. "We'll be friends." Is it just me or does his smile keep getting creepier?

"Yeah, you could also bother to ask me if I'm fine being considered friends with you," I tell him casually, shrugging my shoulders. "And just for that, you'll have to earn your respect from me, back."

With that said, I walk back into the hotel. Not even bothering to check if he's following me or not.

When I walk in, Zeke grabs my arm and leads me to a vacant corner.

"What-Zeke what's going on?" I ask him once we're standing alone in the corner near the stairs.

"Why are you here?" he asks, releasing my arm.

"Excuse me?"

He rubs his face. "Aren't you supposed to be with Four? He's supposed to be visiting you in your room right now."

I'm taken aback. "How do you know that? Well, I mean, he visited me...but then something happened."

"I'm his best friend. Did you really think he wouldn't tell me? And anyway, what happened?" He starts looking apprehensive about something. What, I can't quite put my finger on...

"Nothing. It's done and it doesn't matter..._not anymore_," I say, whispering the last part. I look down at the floor, rubbing my arm, recalling the events of before.

"Hey, you okay?" Zeke snaps his fingers at me.

I break out of my trance. "Yeah, I'm fine," I say reassuringly, more to myself than him.

"What happened? Look, I assure you, if you just gave him a chance..." He blows out a breath. "You'd be really surprised. He's really not that manwhore you've always thought of him as...well, he's not _anymore_. He genuinely wants to be with you and—"

"Yeah, well, if that were true, you and I wouldn't be in this position right now." I laugh sarcastically.

"What'd he do?" he asks tentatively.

I look down at my feet again. "It doesn't matter, Zeke."

"But, Tris—"

I look back at him. "—No, no, no. Drop it."

He puts his hands up, exasperated. "Fine." He rubs his face again. "Let's forget this ever happened, okay? But first, I need to know what happened," he insists, look directly at me.

I'm about to protest, but I realize he's not going to drop it until I tell him. With a sigh, I admit, "Nita."

He looks confused for a moment but then realization dawns upon him. "What do you think of him?"

I'm thoroughly surprised at his question. It seems to have nothing to do with what he just asked before that. Still, I answer it.

"I don't know, Zeke. I feel like...like, every time I actually consider giving him a chance...he does something to blow it. Or I come to my senses and realize it's a recipe for disaster," I spill, shaking my head at the ground.

"Thank you." He gives me a hug. "Hey, we still on for tonight?" he asks, pulling back a little.

I release him completely. "With Christina, try and stop me," I say in a fake enthusiastic voice.

"Great." With that said, he walks away.

Huh. Weird. But then again, he's a Pedrad male so...

I walk back to where I was before. I take a seat on the couch with my friends. We're all talking and laughing when someone comes up to us.

"Hello, Tris...or do you prefer 'Stiff'?" he asks.

"Tris is fine, thank you," I reply to him sarcastically.

"Noted."

I let out a sigh. "What do you want, Eric?"

He takes a seat on the armrest of the couch, a little too close to Christina for Will's comfort, judging by the way he wraps his arm around her tighter.

"I'm just conversing with you, Tris," he replies neutrally. "Anything you'd like to converse?"

"No," I reply slowly, shaking my head.

"Nice to know. Well, I shall be going," he announces, slightly bowing his head.

I can't help but notice how, as he is leaving, the light hits him perfectly, making him appear even more menacing. The light reflects off his piercings, casting minuscule shadows beneath them. You can also see the hole the piercing left. In moments like this, I wish I wasn't so observant. Not that I think noticing all of that only happens because you're observant. I'm pretty sure anyone who just happened to look his way noticed how much more scary he looked. I hate that I was looking there at the time. He's just so despicable.

I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I shouldn't be judging him so quickly, but I can't help it. There's just something about his demeanor that gives off something hazardous. I better watch myself in front of him. He's going to be a troublemaker, and unlike Four, I know I'm not going to like it.

I tear my eyes away from the place where a section of me was scarred. "Hey, guys," I say, capturing their attention from the exact same spot I was looking at.

At least now I know I'm not the only one who is creeped out.

I continue, "I think I'm gonna call it quits. I should be heading back to the hotel room."

"Yeah," Christina says, getting up. "I think I'm going to leave also. Only so much energy to waste, right?"

They all agree, and we depart to go to our hotel rooms.  
+++

"Well, that was an eventful night," Christina whispers to me after we've both finished getting ready for sleep and are in our beds currently, staring at the ceiling.

I hear her turn so she isn't facing the ceiling anymore, and drift off to sleep. I, however, take some time.

Finally, my eyelids start drooping and I know sleep is inevitable.

I turn to sleep on my side and as fatigue engulfs me, one thought processes coherently in my brain:

_Eventful, indeed._


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay, so I know I took forever to update, but this was intended to be an _extremely long_ chapter...as in like maybe 15,000 words . (I did that period thing on purpose btw.) I had a certain place I wanted to reach by the end of this chapter, but today is my birthday and I thought why not just give this much out and then if I still want to make this extremely long, I can just edit it and stuff...so anyway, please don't get mad. You can't. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! *makes puppy dog face***

**But, I am _truly, truly, truly, ever so so so sorry_. I thought a lot of words would make up for it, but then it dawned upon me that that would be taking really long so now I think you guys deserve at least a little. It would've probably taken another month or so or a few weeks because I can never find the right time to really focus on the story so...**

**Again, I thought a really long chapter would make up for it but that would've taken wayyyyy too long so I'm not going to do that.  
+++**

**Part 4:**

"Trissy! Did you actually think I'd let you go to this party without a makeover from me?" Christina shouts at me.

I shrug. "Well, I was sorta hopin'."

"Come on. This is a _huge_ deal. How could you not actually want to go?" She stares at me for a few seconds and then something hits her. She leans closer to me to whisper, "is this about Four?"

I groan. "Why does everybody keep pairing us up? And we leave in a few hours. We should be busy packing not getting ready for some Pedrad-palooza," I tell her, using hand gestures to exaggerate.

"Well, you should no better than to assume I wouldn't bring supplies with me. I bring them with me everywhere. And it's already 2:30 PM, and it takes about 3-4 hours to get back to school. Then, we'll all go home which will take about a half hour. And 'Pedrad-paloozas' are no joke. These things can take the whole entire 24 hours of a day and still be the most awesome experience ever...maybe tiring, too, but that's a part of growing up," she tells me pointedly.

I stare at her incredulously. "You did _not_ just say that exhausting and _depriving yourself of rest_ is a part of growing up," I exclaim, enunciating the "depriving yourself of rest" part.

She sighs. "You need to be more fun," she says, pouting. "As a best friend, it's your job to include yourself in the crazy shit we all know I'll get into."

I roll my eyes. "And besides, I'm pretty sure we'll still have time to get ready at home."

She takes out the hair curler and starts applying it to her hair. "No, we won't. And it'd be easier if we just did it now. By the time we arrive home it'll be..." she trails off, attempting to figuring out the time.

Finally, I decide she's taking too long and answer for her, "about 7 or 8."

"Yeah," she nods her head while pointing at me, "_that_."

"We'll look like freak-shows. Getting on a school bus, 'jazzed up like dolls'," I tell her. "I mean, it just seems inappropriate to ride on something so filthy and garbage-seeming and be glamoured to the rim. And everybody will be looking at us weird because, oh yeah, it's inappropriate."

"Nothing will seem off or inappropriate, I'm pretty sure lots of people will be doing that. It might be out-of-place for you and Lynn, but that's because you guys haven't gotten accustomed to it. Speaking of Lynn, I wouldn't be surprised if Marlene was able to talk her into it. So, if she was able to convince _Lynn_, do I _really_ have an excuse as to why you aren't dolled up? Besides, Four will love it. Don't you want to do _something_ for him?"

I choke a little—on nothing in particular but just because that's what happens when you're totally caught off guard. I recompose myself and take as much time as I need doing so. She doesn't need my answer right away if that's how she's being.

_Gosh, I am not with Four._

"How many times do I need to say this: I am not with Four? When will you guys understand that? You guys are being totally—"

She cuts me off, "oblivious. You are being totally oblivious. Don't you remember when he came to your locker, about to ask you out? Like, on a date, Trissy?"

"Pftt. Oh, please, keep dreaming Christina."

"Too bad for you, I'm not. And how can you not remember? You were a total jerk to him," she absentmindedly says.

"I'm the jerk?" I ask incredulously. "He's the one who can't keep the same girl for one whole _night_. On our first day of high school, he was legitimately making out with Shauna on my lockers and she was sitting on his lap during math, and then he goes and has Molly during Music class, and then he makes out with Lauren—"

"And then he made out with you," she finishes for me. "But, hey, things aren't always what they seem." I notice she's now painting her nails hot pink. _When did she finish curling her hair?_

I shake my head at the stupid thought. Now's not the time to get distracted. "Yeah, but he—"

"He, _what_?!" She turns her full gaze to me and stops applying nail polish. The brush in her hand is hanging from her fingers, the bristols in mid-air. Her nails are cooped up to ensure they don't get paint on anything and that she can still hold the brush.

I take a seat on the closest surface and put my head in my hands. "Easier said than done. It's not that simple," I try telling her, but she won't have it.

"Look, I know you're new to this, but you need to understand that liking someone—"

"I don't like him!" I shout, rising up from my position. I place my hands on my forehead while pacing around the room. "I never said that. When did I ever say that? You guys keep saying I do but I'm _insisting_ I don't. I know what I'm going through. Nobody else does. It's only me. And you can attempt all you want at trying to grasp the concept, but you'll never truly be able to unless you were me," I finish with a breath. I remove my hands and stop pacing.

She takes a seat next to me, looking up at me. "How about I try?"

"Christina," I mumble with my eyes closed, about to bring up my hand to silence her, but she decides to not listen.

"Let me guess, you're insecure, and you want to rip your hair out—well some feel more like crying, but that doesn't seem appropriate in your case," she says, eyeing me for a second, then continuing, "and you wonder why this is happening, and you try to deny it but...even the most minuscule part of you knows that you're lying, but you wish you weren't. You're constantly getting confused at the mixed signals, the red and white flags, the 'bipolar' behavior," she tells me, looking down at the floor, also finger-quoting "bipolar".

"You wish it could be simple, but you know it's not," she says, finally looking up at me from where her gaze was fixated on the floor.

"It's way more complex," I tell her, now having my eyes set upon somewhere else. I clear my throat. "But, I _genuinely, truly, positively, absolutely_, do _not_ like him. Not one bit."

She puts her hands up in defense. "Fine, Tris. Maybe we all made a mistake. Maybe you don't like him."

"Thank you," I tell her, happy that she's realized I could care less about his Prussian blue eyes.

"Anyway, I'm done with me. Now, we are going to work on you," she says ecstatically, as if we weren't just having a serious conversation.

I groan, but that doesn't seem to deflate her.  
+++

"Almost there. Just hold on a sec. Okay—"

"Ow!" I shriek, as my foot hits _another_ substance. "Christina! Stop it. What's the point of torturing both of us to torture me even more, if to just torture me right after you tortured me the first time?"

She stops. "I'm pretty sure nobody could understand what you just said right now."

"Ugh. Just hurry up and tell me what it is we're doing," I groan. I absolutely _hate_ this blindfold.

"Shut up!" she exclaims. "We're almost there. Stop being so damn impatient."

"Well, I'm bored," I whine. "And it doesn't help that you keep having my foot hit something every few seconds."

"Then, distract yourself."

"With what?"

She pauses before replying. "Never mind. We're here."

The blindfold comes off, and it takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the light. Meanwhile, I squint and blink repeatedly because for some reason, people believe that helps relieve the eyes' tension and I'm one of those people.

No, I'm just kidding. It's just out of habit.

Anyway, after my eyes have adjusted to their sight, I notice I'm in the lobby. _No wonder my foot kept hitting something... _But still, that happens even when I don't have a blindfold on so...

_How the hell did Christina manage to get me down two flights of stairs?_

"Trissy, hello? Earth-to-Tris? Are you there? Wake up! Wake up!" Christina says, waving a hand in my face.

I snap back to reality and stumble backwards a few steps. "How the hell did you get me down two flights of stairs?" I demand, after regaining my stability—not that I ever really had any, seeing as how I've always been clumsy.

All she does is shrug in response.

I huff. "You're not going to give me _any_ answer? Come on, Christina, I've heard them all from you," I tell her.

"Okay, is that seriously the only thing that goes through your mind when you're dolled up and in front of a full-length mirror?" she asks, exasperated by my behavior.

I turn my attention to the mirror that is directly in front of me. I must've been so occupied with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed it. And what I notice:

My hair is curled at the tips and one strand from each side of my head is twisted and comes together in the middle into a ponytail. There's blush on my cheeks, but that's natural and from seeing myself in the mirror. I notice the dress I'm wearing is Prussian blue...

_My luck..._

I look normal, I'd say. Thank goodness I don't have makeup, though. I'd pretty much die if I did...and I lean in closer to the mirror and notice something. My eyes are lined with...eyeliner. And I have some unnoticeable...lip-gloss. Or maybe it's lipstick. It's not like I know the difference.

"What do you think?" Christina asks, putting her head on my shoulder, looking up at me.

"You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know." I imagine standing before my family in these clothes, and my stomach twists like I might be sick.

"Who cares about pretty? I'm going for noticeable."

I stop looking in the mirror. I don't know why, I just can't bare to look at my reflection anymore. I address Christina, "But thanks. You really don't have to do this, you never do. But thanks for wasting time on me—"

"Is that seriously what you consider it? Tris, I enjoy doing this." She takes my hand and we sit down on the couch. "I know we have been going through some serious problems lately, but..." She shakes her head. "You're still my best friend. And all best friends have their fights. And I'll always be there."

I give her hand a squeeze. "Thanks," I reply.

"No problem," she tells me.

I purse my lips then chuckle. "Let's go. This is becoming too heartwarming for my cold soul," I joke.

She agrees and we make our way to the others.

"Hey, guys," I greet once we make it towards them.

"Woah," Will says, staring at Christina. He blushes, realizing what just came out of his mouth. "I mean, you look beautiful-well, you look more than beautiful but-no, not like that-or like _that_ either-I mean, you're stunning and there are no buts to that-again, not like _that_," he stammers.

She goes up to him and pecks him on the cheek. "Thank you, William. And you look amazing as well," she tells him, effectively calming him down.

Uri scrunches his nose up. "Is it just me, or did the atmosphere change from completely casual to 'love is in the air'?"

Mar slaps his arm. "Hey, it's cute and romantic," she says, marveling at their little scene.

"And disgusting," I add in.

Uri extends his hand towards me, motioning for me to give him a high-five. I give him one and Lynn actually ends up cracking a smile at my statement.

We all just continue to talk for a few minutes until Lynn motions for me to look behind me.

My eyebrows furrow, silently asking her "What?"

"Just look behind you," she whispers, looking at the floor and trying to be discreet.

I glance behind me to find Four look away from something. He starts scratching behind his ear, which is starting to become red.

I glance back to Lynn. "What is it?" I whisper.

She looks directly into my eyes. "I'm going to tell you when to look. At that exact moment, you're going to look. For now, just start looking around Four, not too far but not too close. When I say, 'look', you're going to look directly at him. Got it?"

I nod my head, still confused.

I start looking around Four, anything I can find that's near him. Then, Lynn slaps me on the back, signaling me to look at him. I had a feeling she'd rather be violent than peaceful. I glance at him and catch him staring at me. He looks away, blushing, and then thinks better of it and looks back at me. I'm still staring at him, though, so now we're just gazing into each other's eyes, ignoring the rest of the world. It feels like such an intimate moment...and I don't know what to make of it.

This time, I'm the one to look away. I also make a point by getting out of this room—this room where most of the students are lounging around. I spot Tori standing in front of the exit/entrance to this hotel. My steps would produce a clicking-sound who's echo would emanate off the walls, but I'm not wearing heels. Instead, the footsteps continue treading silently, their path leading to Tori. They stop directly behind her, the back of her facing me.

But she must've known they'd lead me here.

"What question will you be asking me to avoid the others?" She finally glances at me, and I can't help but notice how tired she seems.

"I don't know," I tell her, switching my gaze to the view the transparent doors provide. In the corner of my eye, I see her raising her eyebrow at my statement. "Will 'When are we leaving?' do?" I ask, finally looking at her.

She nods her head a few times. "Yeah, that'll do," she tells me.

I nod my head at that.

"It's soon," she says, looking at her watch. Then, she retracts her hand and opens the door, stepping outside. I just stand where I am, shaking my head.

I don't know anymore.  
+++

"Everybody on the bus," Tori says, clapping her hands together. She seems to be in a better mood than our discussion earlier.

I follow my friends onto the bus we came on and it seems as if everybody sits exactly where they were sitting before.

I look outside the window behind me and spot Four talking with the receptionist. She seems nice.

I try to read their lips to see what they're saying but come up with no success. She does tell him something, though, something that makes him blush. He recovers a few seconds after and nods his head in a "will do" manner. She becomes serious and he ends up chuckling. A punch is then delivered to his arm which only causes his laughter to rise. He notices how serious her expression is and straightens up, seeming to apologize. Tori decides then to make her way towards them. She places her hand on Four's shoulder, seeming to usher him into the bus. He complies and she stays to chat with the receptionist. They continue talking, with Tori making a lot of hand gestures and the receptionist nodding her head.

After a while, Tori and her seem to be getting deep into conversation and she looks up and points at me. I turn my head abruptly to the side, afraid I've been caught. I chance a look back down at them and see them both smiling up at me. The receptionist even waves at me.

"Been caught, huh? Why don't you follow me?" a husky voice says right next to my ear.

I turn my head to the side, his cheek right in front of my train of sight. "Why the hell should I follow you?" I ask...not so politely.

"Please? I don't expect you to warm up to me that easy, but please? Just this one time?" he pleads.

I huff and contemplate whether I should or not. After all, he said just this one time. But then again, he's a liar. An absolute liar. And he doesn't deserve me complying so easily.

Suddenly, I feel my arm being pulled. I look to see who it is: Four. _Why am I not surprised?_

He pulls me off of my seat and starts dragging me out of the bus. His grip ends up getting tighter and tighter but I don't think he realizes it.

I smack his arm. "Ow. Stop. You're hurting me," I tell him, annoyed.

He immediately lets go. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt—"

"Yeah, yeah. It's alright. Just tell me why you dragged me out of the bus. I know it wasn't because you were trying to harm me," I reassure—not because I'm incredibly fond of him right now, it's because I know about his father, and I know he barely harmed me, and he wouldn't do that to any female on purpose—, crossing my arms.

"Again, sorry about—"

"Stop apologizing. Just tell me why I'm here," I demand.

He looks down at the floor, then back up at me. He glances towards the receptionist and then motions me towards her.

I slowly tread towards the receptionist.

"Hi, my name's Jessica," she says, extending her hand in greeting.

I shake her hand while saying, "my name is Beatrice, but I prefer Tris."

"Ah. I know who you are," she tells me, still smiling.

"How do you—"

"That's not important," Four cuts in.

I glare at him, silently interrogating him as to why he's still here. He catches my glare and decides to go back on the bus.

"As I was saying, how do you know me?"

"Well, let's just say I know—and am incredibly fond of—the students at this school. Which means I'm pretty up-to-date on what goes on."

I nod my head at her discreet response.

"Okay, it's time to board the bus," Tori says, ushering me onto it.

"Of course." I address Jessica. "It was nice meeting you, and hopefully, I'll get to see you another time," I tell her.

"Yeah, definitely. You, too," she replies.

During our whole entire conversation, her smile has never faded...up until now.

I board the bus and sit where I was just sitting. My friends wrap me up into their conversation as if I had never left, and I await the 3-4 hour-long journey.  
+++

Finally, I decide to head to the bathroom. I'm definitely _not_ a fan of public restrooms—no one is—but hey, I need to use it badly. I make my way towards it and see it's occupied. I wait, crossing my arms. For some reason, though, Four assumes this is the best time to appear.

"Hey," he says to me.

I ignore him. All I care about is using the restroom.

"Don't tell me your giving me the silent treatment," he tells me sternly.

_I really don't want to talk to him._

"Please talk to me," he begs.

He comes to stand in front of me, and I'd move but I don't want him to think I'm actually acknowledging him. Instead, I just stare at him, as if he isn't there and I'm looking at the rest of the bus. I've found that hurts more.

"Hey." He tries grabbing one of my arms and I punch him. He slowly brings his hand back and looks pissed. "Fine, don't talk," he mumbles. "Don't know why I bother even trying."

I roll my eyes. Apparently, claiming to want to be with someone—might I add, about to kiss them—and then having sex with someone else is "trying". Pft, Four.

Then, something I absolutely dread happens. The bus hits a patch in the road and the whole bus gets jostled. Out of instinct, I latch onto the first thing I can grab...which just so happens to be Four's shirt. And to make matters even worse, he also has the same instinct, but the first thing he latched onto ended up being my waist. So, now, my fingers are clutching his shirt and his arms are encircled around my waist. And the sudden movement we provided drew the others' eyes to us. _Yay..._

I immediately let go. It takes Four a few seconds to do the same but he still ends up doing it a little after me. Everybody is now staring at us, some with amused faces, and some with astonished.

Peter is the first to break the silence.

"Yeah, bro. Get it!" he yells. Then he continues normally, "don't know why you'd want _that_, but a little generosity never killed anybody."

I don't need to use the bathroom anymore.

"You're right, Peter. Next time, try it," Four replies coolly.

Peter gets up from his seat. "Oh, come on. You can't possibly be standing up for the Stiff? Your twelve-year-old little brother, isn't it?" He asks, eyeing me.

"Why can't you guys ever be reasonable?" I state, turning everybody's gazes from Four and Peter, to me. "For goodness sake, you guys can be such big drama-queens. And then you blame it on a female as if she started the dispute. _You_," I point my finger at Peter, "need to butt-out. If it doesn't concern you, why the fuck do you make a huge fuss over it and act as if you're right and did a heroic thing? And _you_," I blow out a sigh, stabbing his chest with my index finger, "need to learn how to not react. You're not a coward, you can stand up for things, but you never know when or when not is the right time to." With that said, I huff and make my way over to my friends to sit in my seat.

Four and Peter stare at each other for a while longer and then sit back down in their seats, too.

I have a feeling their alliance has been broken, and instead it's now a newfound hatred.  
+++

"Hello party-people," Uri slurs.

_How the fuck has he already managed to get drunk? We just got off the bus._

"Hey," Mar says, pecking him on the cheek.

Uriah then notices Lynn. "Woah, Lynn. You look different. Good for you. Did Mar dress you up?"

Lynn doesn't say anything, but the crimson blush that tinges her cheeks say it all.

Will and Al appear behind Christina, shaking hands and Will congratulating him.

"What's going on?" I ask with a light chuckle, approaching them.

They notice me and immediately stop, almost as if they're hiding something.

"Nothing. It's nothing," Will says quickly.

I turn to Christina who's behind me. "Hm. Chris, didn't that sound suspicious to you too?"

She turns to us. "Why, yes, indeed, William. Care to explain?"

We both exchange a look, trying not to laugh in front of the boys. It's fun to mess around with them every once in a while.

Will leans forward and whispers something in Christina's ear that makes her blush. She then scurries off somewhere else. I look toward the boys and see them smirking at me.

"Did you really think we were that stupid, Beatrice?" Al asks, his arm slung around Will. Will also has his arm slung around Al.

"Yes, yes I did," I reply truthfully. And seriously, where the hell did "Beatrice" come from?

They both roll their eyes.

"Well, we're not. Or else we would've fallen for your sneaky, manipulative shenanigans," Will tells me.

"Haha," I sarcastically chuckle. I then make sure they see my eye roll before I slip off somewhere else.

We decided instead of doing the prank after the party, we'd do it after an hour of being here. Al was extremely excited for some reason. Maybe it was because we basically left him out these past couple weeks...

Uriah and I agreed on doing an extra prank for Four. We plan on filling his house with cups of honey and several types of alcoholic beverages. In addition to that, I figured we could accessorize his house with a bunch of hidden traps. Uriah suggested we also involve his dad, but I wouldn't have it. I suggested the extra traps, though, because knowing Four, he wouldn't mind drinking all of the alcohol himself.

But for now, we're all just going to try and enjoy ourselves as much as we can.

I make my way into the kitchen and immediately blush at the sight before me. They're doing body-shots. I exit and decide to go upstairs. As I ascend the stairs, I can't help but let my eyes wander. There are so many people, all having fun and going crazy. _Their best friends must have not dragged them here_, I can't help but think bitterly.

Once I make it to the top of the stairs, I show no intention of moving and just stare. I stare at the scene before my eyes. These Pedrad parties are seriously something. I start exploring—knocking on rooms' doors to ensure I don't walk in on people doing things, going through every single empty room, admiring the place. Finally, I come to a halt when I notice a balcony in one of the rooms. I enter the balcony and immediately the scent of alcohol leaves my nostrils. It's so nice to be outside, rather than cooped up in small spaces in between people doing intimate things.

I lean on the railing that prevents people from falling to their deaths. Huh. That's an optimistic way of putting it. Anyway, I notice how beautiful the night sky is. The stars twinkling with the moonlight accentuating them, the Hub standing taller than any other infrastructure with streetlights forming rows leading to it, the busy streets filled with people walking by. It is truly a magnificent sight.

"Wonderful, isn't it?" And it seems as if the voice agrees with me.

I'm about to ignore him again when I notice the bottle in his hand. He's drunk.

"Yeah, I guess so," I tell him, remembering the plan.

He almost chokes on the contents, and I feel my heart skip a beat. "Either I had way too many drinks, or you're not giving me the silent treatment anymore."

I scoff. "Well, you definitely did have too many drinks, but yes, I'm talking to you. That doesn't mean you should expect it to happen again, though. I'm only speaking because you're drunk."

He frowns and then pouts. "That's not appealing. I rather you talk to me all the time but this one than have it vice-versa."

"Well, too bad," I whisper. "I'm not the one who told you to have sex with Nita, and even if I did, you could've easily ignored me. Likewise, I ignore you," I plainly state.

"You don't even know the full story," he starts.

"Everything isn't what it seems," I exclaim angrily. "Yada yada yada. That's serious bull."

"Didn't know you had a tattoo," he says, looking at my collarbone.

I'm about to start on how that has absolutely nothing to do with what I just said, but then the bottle makes its way back into my peripheral vision.

He notices my staring at the bottle and brings it closer to me. "Want some?" he offers.

I turn my gaze back to the scenery. "Yeah, so you could get me drunk and take advantage of me. No, thanks," I bitterly reply. I make sure the first part clearly comes out as a statement rather than a question. It's not a question.

"I would never take advantage of you," he whispers sluggishly in my ear.

I turn back to him. "Huh. You know, I'm finding that really hard to believe," I sorely exclaim.

"Well, you shouldn't."

He lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a huge chug. I feel terrible for whoever will be dealing with him tonight. I glance at his friends and surprisingly, they all seem even more drunk than he is.

"Did I intrude?" I ask him, jutting my chin in the direction of his friends.

His gaze shifts to them for a second and then it is back on me. "Them?" A swig of his bottle. "Of course not. They hardly realize I'm gone. Don't worry about it."

My watch beeps and I realize it's been an hour. Time goes by fast...

"I should be going," I tell him. "Do me a favor and stay away from the railings, okay?"

"Of course." He puts his lips next to my ear, his hands resting on my hips, and says, "You look good, Tris."

His words surprise me, and my heart leaps. I wish it didn't, because judging by the way his foul breath smells and the fact that Nita showed up at his room in alluring clothing—if you could even call underwear/lingerie clothing—you can tell he really couldn't give two rats' asses about me.

He walks backwards toward his friends, his eyes never leaving mine. Before he finally turns to them, he gives me a wink. Then, he continues as he was doing before me.

I exit the balcony and walk downstairs in search of my friends. I end up bumping into somebody during my search and fall to the floor.

"Oh, hey, Tris. We've been looking all over for you," Uri exclaims enthusiastically, giving me a hand.

"Yeah, but instead of looking, you were bumping," I roughly state.

He contemplates that for a moment and then starts having a small chuckle. "No offense, Trissy-poo. That doesn't exactly convey the message you were hoping to."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I sorta realized that the second it came out," I tell him with a small smile on my face.

Everybody has a laugh at this.

"So, shall we get going?" Will asks, gesturing toward the door.

Christina puts her finger up. "Only if Tris is still so keen on it," she says, looking at everybody but me.

I roll my eyes. "Of course I am. Now, you all need to stop that."

"Stop what?" Marlene asks, feigning innocence. She lifts her shoulders along with her hands to portray the "But who?" act.

"She's right. Why associate her with the jerk? I don't think she's good enough for Four. So, we should stop claiming there's something between the two when there clearly isn't," Al exclaims in an outburst of emotions. He then mutters so low only I can hear, "Or at least, there better not be."

I feel a shiver run down my spine. I know he didn't mean for anyone to hear that, and he seems to be slowly getting back to his own self, but I can't help but move a few inches away from him.

"Hey," a voice whispers in my ear.

"Hey," I whisper back to him, smiling in anticipation of what we're about to do.

He looks around. "So, did you follow the plan?"

I look down at the floor, remembering I forgot to do the most important part. "Oh, shit. Uriah, I forgot. I totally forgot. Ugh, how could I have been so stupid?" I ask him, groaning here and there.

"It's alright. I'll stall, but you need to hurry up and complete the task," he tells me. He points his thumb behind him. "Go, quick."

I nod my head, intent on achieving my goal. I dash upstairs and whenever somebody stops to stare at me, I make sure to stumble a little, as to not seem too different. I head to the terrace and see that Four isn't here. _Where could he be?_

After exiting there, I decide to just go everywhere to ensure I don't miss him. At some point, though, I don't need to pretend to stumble anymore because it's starting to get really hard to navigate through these spaces. I'm not drunk, people just don't seem to understand personal space. About a while later, I'm sure Uri is running out of ideas and I know it is crucial I find Four soon. I decide to try the ultimate, last resort.

"Fo—" I'm cut off by someone shoving me into a wall. "What the hell?" I state as soon as I'm stable.

"Sorry, peaches," someone huffs. I can feel the alcohol from their breath resting on my ear. It makes me sick.

"It's totally fine." No, it's not. "But," I attempt to move past him, "I think I'll be going now."

He puts his arm out to stop me. "I don't think so. Come on, Carol. Stop being a pansycake."

Wait, did he just say "Carol"? I burst out laughing after processing that. No wonder he wanted to do things with _me_.

He looks at me quizzically, wondering why I'm laughing so hard.

"Look, I'm sorry, I'm not Carol or whoever the hell you were talking about." His mouth goes in the form of an "o". "You are obviously really drunk, though, so do you need any help with anything?" I ask him.

"No, it's alright. But, thanks. For telling me," he says. He slurs, "It'd be nice to know where Carol went."

"What's her last name?" He seems nice and as if he really cares about this "Carol" so I want to make sure he doesn't do anything he'll regret later.

"Carol Lee," he slurs again, but it comes out as if it's "Carolee", which is actually not that bad of a name. Or maybe that's how it always sounds with her name. Poor thing. (Assuming she's a girl I'm using the pronouns "she" and "her")

I take out my phone and text Uri.

_Tris: Look, I'm sorry I haven't returned yet, but do you know a Carol Lee?_

_Uriah: ya y? oh and i forgot 2 text u 2 take ur time bcuz were all pretty distracted...all except Al ; )_

_Tris: Ew. I didn't need to know that._

_Uriah: at least u didnt mention my horrible grammar_

_Tris: Don't feel like this is the right time. Anyway, tell her to go upstairs, first room on the right._

_Uriah: sure thang._

_Tris: That is improper on so many levels, I won't even begin._

_Uriah: no way i dont know how i'll be able 2 survive without ur rants_

I roll my eyes and put my phone away. Damn him and his stupid sarcasm. I lead the guy—who's name I don't even know—into the place I told Carol to go to. I wait for a few seconds till I hear a knock on the door.

"Hello. Who are you?" I ask once I get to the door, making sure I don't let anyone take advantage of the poor, defense-less male in the room.

Yes, males can be just as defense-less as a female can, and need just as much support, protection, and love as a female. They're equals and always will be.

The girl glances around nervously. "Um. I'm Carol, Carol Lee. Uriah told me to come here. He said I'd be meeting with someone named..." she stop and eyes me. Instead of continuing, she suspiciously asks me, "What's your name?"

I laugh. We're both playing the same game.

"My name is Tris, and obviously my goofball friend Uri sent you to me," I tell her, extending my hand in greeting.

"Oh, is that...um...Uriah's nickname?" she asks, fumbling for his name.

I laugh. "Yeah, I call him that. Anyway, you obviously are Carol, so I'll just step aside and let you two be alone. And you might want to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do this often."

"Oh, he doesn't do this often," she assures me. "He must've just wanted to have fun for once. It's totally understandable. Oh, and how's your relationship going?"

"What 'relationship'?" I ask her, completely bewildered.

"Oh...uh, never mind," she attempts to lie, but I said _attempts_.

"You're extremely terrible at lying. So just spill."

"No, thank you. Anyway, I'll be heading inside now," she says, quickly making a dash for the room.

Too quick. I couldn't catch her in time.

Ugh.

"Tris," Four slurs in my ear.

I turn around so fast I almost stumble...and I would've, if not for his arms that caught me.

Stupid him.

_Twice in a day?!_

Ugh.

But I still can't help the sigh that escapes my mouth. He's here. I can get what I need.

"Hey, Four," I reply, a little too sweetly.

The corners of his mouth turn upwards into a smile for me.  
+++

"Yo, Tris. I see you got what you need. May I ask how?" Uriah smirks at me.

"Not important, now is it?" I snidely ask, jingling the keys in my hand.

Uriah rolls his eyes at me and motions for me to hop into the passenger seat.

Sorta like Caleb, Uriah knows how to drive. Unlike Caleb, he isn't legally allowed to, as in he doesn't have his license yet. That didn't stop Zeke from teaching him, though, and surprisingly, Uriah is a pretty good driver. You'd expect the Pedrads to be bad drivers, they're not.

Life is weird.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Uriah asks, briefly glancing in my direction before returning his eyes to the road.

"Nah. How about you boost it up another penny, though, and I'll consider it?" I joke.

"Fine." He reaches into his wallet and takes out two pennies. "Here," he says, handing them to me.

"Oh, wow. Uri, I don't know what to say..." I pretend to trail off. I snap back to reality in a second. "...other than: I WAS JUST KIDDING, PEDRAD!" I give him a pointed look. "You've got to fucking be kidding me," I groan.

"Hey, I thought you'd be happier to know you're receiving money for free," he tells me, both astonished and amused.

I contemplate the best approach to this situation. "Uri, this is sweet, but you know I can't accept money from you."

"Relax, it's just two cents."

"Still," I push, refusing to accept any money from anyone.

"Just take it, it's _two cents_. Don't be so dramatic...and morally correct," he tells me, huffing.

I put my hands up in defense. There's nothing wrong with being morally correct.  
+++

I take his hand and let him help me out of the jeep. Well, more like he hauls me out and off of the jeep, not bothering to consider what he _knows_ my response will be. Over time, he's made this into our signature joke. According to him, it's a "symbolization of how my shortness affects me in ways that makes me need his help". And in many ways, that doesn't really make much sense.

Stupid high cars.

"So, what'd you have them do? Or did you send them on a wild goose chase?" he asks me, flashing a row of his white teeth.

"I told them to do something to his ride. Not a big deal."

"You _what_?" he exclaims.

"His ride to the party. Their prank will be targeting it," I tell him slowly and unsurely.

He rushes toward me. "How could you do that? Have you seen his methods of transportation?! They're perfect..." he trails off, looking somewhere in the distance, probably reminiscing in the beauty of his vehicles.

"So what? That's nothing," I mumble, staring at the floor.

"I still don't know what happened between you two," he tells me, now standing directly in front of me.

I shake my head. "Uri, we're great friends. But some things, I don't tell," I say, walking towards the front door of Four's house.


	19. Chapter 19

**Beware of when the chapter starts to end.**

**By the way, I realized I hadn't updated in a long time (if anybody actually reads this) and so I conjured up this and then I thought I might as well fix the previous chapters but I got lazy and so...sorry. **

**I guess it doesn't matter, though, because nobody is even going to read this.  
+++**

**Part 5:**

I use the keys I stole from Four to unlock the doors to his house. It was surprisingly easy to get them, considering he was too drunk to fully comprehend what was going on around him.

_"Hey, Four," I reply, a little too sweetly._

_The corners of his mouth turn upwards into a smile for me._

_"Hey. What are you doing?" he asks, taking a sip from his bottle._

_I shrug my shoulders. "Nothing, much."_

_He takes a step closer toward me._

_"May I ask what's up with you?"_

_"What are you talking about?" I ask him, feigning innocence._

_He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, it's just...you seem so different. You were ignoring me earlier today and then you said you were only talking to me because I was drunk_—_and even then you weren't exactly being nice_—_and now you're being immensely sweet." An idea seems to occur to him and he places a hand on my forehead with a worried glance. "Are you not feeling okay?"_

_I remove his hand from my forehead, not wanting the same hands that touched Nita and betrayed me to be on me. "I'm fine," I urge, trying my best to keep up this act._

_He seems skeptical for a second but quickly recovers, the alcohol still spreading through his system._

_"Hey," his hips come closer to mine, and my feet trample backwards to flee, "you want to go dance?" he whispers in my ear, leaning down. He continues to back me into a corner._

_I pretend to consider it. My hands reach down into one of the pockets in the front of his pants, careful not to touch his...yeah. While I'm grabbing the keys, a small jingle from them was heard. His eyes begin to trace the source of the sound, and just as his head was about to look down and notice his keys in my possession, I press myself into him (my hips especially, to serve as a distraction) while retracing my hand to place the keys in my back pocket._

_He seems to find this as his cue._

_His fingers trail my dress up an inch, touching bare skin. He begins to lead me to the dance floor like that. I abruptly stumble backwards, attracting his attention._

_"No thank you," I tell him, pulling my dress down further than it is made to go._

_"To what?" he asks, bewildered, with his head tilted slightly to the right._

_"Um..." I stumble for words, "the dancing thing. I don't want to dance." I notice his expression become even more confused and I decide to change the subject. "Hey, speaking of which, where are your friends?"_

_I know we weren't talking about his friends. I wasn't drunk._

_He doesn't appear confused anymore and instead seems happy. "They're over there," he says, pointing to a spot behind him. I use that time to ditch._

_I dash down the stairs and head over to my friends. Grabbing Uri's arm, I drag him out of the house and we hop into the car._

I don't _ever_ want to do that again.

"Uri, hurry up, would you?" I yell.

He huffs. "Maybe if you'd help me this wouldn't take as long."

I give him an incredulous look. "This is already going to take long."

He brings things over and sets them on the doorstep right next to my feet.

"Nope. Forever."  
+++

"Wow. He is so going to kill me," Uri tells me, glancing at the cups while closing the door.

"Well, at least it didn't take very long...or in your words, '_forever_'," I say, smirking.

He sighs. "So, what should we do now?" he asks, blowing on nothing in particular as if he were Ariel blowing on a strand of hair.

"Do you think the rest finished?" I ask, not really knowing what to answer his question.

"If we were able to finish _this_, I don't see how they couldn't have."

He looks around. "How about we head back to the party?" he asks, appearing as if he's asking absentmindedly.

"Can you give me a ride back to my house?"

"No."  
+++

"My parents will be leaving soon. Let me say bye to them."

"No."  
+++

"What will I even be doing there, anyway?" I ask, frustrated.

After he refused to give me a ride back to my house, he made me hop into the stupid jeep. Then, while we were driving to the party, he said I can't say bye to my parents. Well, I mean, honestly, I could care less if I said bye to them or not, but I really don't want to be back here. And "here" consists of being right in front of the house where the party is being held.

"I understand you don't want to be near Four but your friends are here. Enjoy your time. Don't let him get to you. You're no fun anymore. And anyway, Candor or Dauntless will be played. You love that game," he tells me, trying to cheer me up.

"Yeah, but all my friends are constantly off grinding on their others or doing something else I don't want to do. I don't like parties, how do you expect me to enjoy my time? And he isn't getting to me. I am fun, don't you remember what we just did? And I don't care if Candor or Dauntless will be played, you love that game, not me," I reply, crushing all his statements.

"Don't be a party pooper, Tris."

He forces me into the house, not letting me stop for even a glance at Four's motorcycle. Our friends swarm around us and start asking a bunch of questions, mainly consisting of "Where were you?" and "What were you doing?" Uriah just shrugs and I mirror his movements. But I for sure am not mirroring what he does next—kissing Marlene square on the lips.

I scrunch my face up. "Ew," I say.

"Aw, Trissy. Don't worry, I got you covered girl," he says, then leans in jokingly as if he were to really kiss me.

I slap him away and stand behind the rest of our friends, away from him. They all laugh even harder.

"No thank you, Uri," I tell him and then continue, "in fact, never in a million years...or ever."

He rolls his eyes playfully. "Whatever you say, Trissy, whatever you say."

"Whatever you can't accept, Uriah, whatever rejection you can't accept," I mock him.

He glares at me and a laugh bubbles past my lips.

"Hello? Hello, hello?" Zeke announces in a weird accent. It kind of sounds Indian. And where did he get the microphone he is currently using?

Eh. Probably shouldn't stress myself about it. Rumor has it the Pedrads have a storage closet filled with random props. Wouldn't surprise me.

"I have an announcement to make," Zeke yells into the microphone as if he's a kook.

Well, he probably is.

"Would everybody please leave? We're trying something different tonight," he says normally...or as normal as he can get.

I look back at Uriah. "What does he mean 'trying something different tonight'? What are they doing that's different?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "Well, usually, people stay longer and Candor or Dauntless is played with a bigger group of people, not as much as how many people are currently here but a lot bigger than how many played at Four's. I don't know all that good, really, Zeke and Four would put me to bed before I could witness anything. Too scared I'd rat them out. Of course there were certain times where I woke up and witnessed some but not too much. Zeke made sure of that," he tells me, finishing with a huff.

"I said to _leave_, people. Why don't you listen?" Zeke says, exasperated.

Huh. I guess people couldn't believe that this was happening. But I feel like bombarding Zeke a little—okay, maybe a lot—but only because he's really funny exasperated. Him and Uriah both have that in common.

My friends turn to leave but they stop when they notice me and Uri not following. I look at him, also curious to why he's not coming when I remember he lives here. Wow, that was stupid of me.

I turn back to them. "You guys _do_ remember he lives here, right?" Not that I can judge seeing as how I also forgot that. "Oh, and as for me, I'd like to mess with Zeke a little. You guys go on."

Uri stops them. "Actually, no going on because you guys have to stick around for Candor or Dauntless. Tris, you can annoy Zeke then, while we're playing."

"Why are _we_ sticking around?" I ask him, gesturing to the rest of us.

"I don't mind sticking around." Christina.

"Me, neither," agrees Will.

And one by one they all head to where I presume Zeke is waiting for us.

"Come on, Trissy," Uri ushers me playfully, not even bothering to hide his smirk.

I roll my eyes but follow.

I am seated in between Uri and Christina, thankfully, and make sure to not look at Four..._who probably gave Nita a fourgasm_, I can't help but think bitterly.

"Who shall go first? I shall go first," Zeke announces, raising a hand to silence Uri.

He appears upset and attempts a puppy dog face but stops once he realizes it won't be working.

"Good to know we have that settled," Zeke says once Uriah has stopped. He begins, "Tris—"

I huff in annoyance. Of course he'd choose me.

He furrows his brows. "Fine. I see. Lynn, I choose you," he exclaims that last part as if he were a Pokemon trainer.

"And I choose Dauntless," she says, clucking her tongue and sticking her index finger and thumb out.

"I dare you to..." he ponders what he'd like her to do for a moment and then an idea occurs to him. "...make out with the next-door neighbor, and if you can't get as far as making out, to just kiss."

"Easy."

Zeke decides to follow Lynn out to watch while the rest of us wait.  
+++

I check my watch and see that it's been 10 minutes since they left. I wonder what's keeping them so long.

"You all feel as if they've been gone for a long time, too, right?" Christina asks everyone, probably wanting to make sure it's not just her.

Everybody replies, "Yup." at the same time.

We all look at each other and laugh.

"Seriously, though, how long have they been gone?" Shauna asks. Four places a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

Barf.

"Ten minutes," I reply at the same time as Four.

I glare at him and he stares at me, red creeping to his ears. He offers me a small smile in which I just scoff. Then, he has the nerve to proceed by rolling his eyes. I cross my arms and narrow my eyes and just before he can respond, Zeke and Lynn bound into the room. Zeke dragging Lynn by the ear, Lynn blushing red and surprisingly not doing anything to stop him.

He stops by where she was sitting and takes his own seat where Shauna starts rubbing his arm soothingly. "What happened?" she asks softly.

"Ask her," Zeke says, gesturing towards Lynn.

"What happened?" Uri asks, laughing.

"Well—" Lynn starts but is cut off by Zeke.

"She went up to the door and knocked on it while I waited in the bushes and then she kissed her and it started to get sexual to the point where Lynn started pushing the girl into the house and then closed the door shut, leaving me in the bushes. I thought I'd give them some space or whatever and so I waited but then I realized she was gone for like, 8 minutes, half of you, Four," Four glares at him, "and so I thought, 'Shit! Shauna will kill me if Lynn ends up having sex under my supervision'," Shauna places a kiss on his cheek and Zeke grins really wide before continuing, "so I called. Nobody answered. I called again. Nobody answered again. So, I knocked on the door and it took me banging on the door for at least 45 seconds, three-fourths of you, Four," Four gives him another glare, "till the girl answered the door. I barged into the house to find Lynn shirtless and with her bra strap hanging open, prepared to take it off until her eyes landed on me. She quickly scrambled to find her clothes while I tapped my foot against the floor waiting and then once she was fully clothed, or what is deemed appropriate enough, I grabbed her by the ear and dragged her here, a safe, nonsexual place."

"Nonsexual?" Uri asks at the same as Lynn asks, "Safe?"

He glares at them. "Yes."

"That's funny, seeing as how you were just telling me what you and Shauna were doing the other day, here, in this house," Four says, enunciating the "...here, in this house" part. He then continues, "And if I remember correctly, it was definitely not a—"

"We do not speak of that time, Four," Zeke quickly says, avoiding Shauna's glare.

Everybody else laughs except me.

That's not funny. Zeke shouldn't have been doing that...or at least, not without Shauna's permission and then Four just went and blurted it out. I know I'd want some privacy and these things are confidential. Unless both parties were okay with it, you're not allowed to go blabbing it. And this just proves how he's bad news. His lack of privacy and regard for the other. Not caring what the other person thinks of it, selling them out for a cheap thing. I, _sure as hell_, wouldn't want that.

I can feel his gaze on me but..._ugh_...I wouldn't want to satisfy that. It was rude and disrespectful and I can't so much as look at him.

"How about we continue the game?" Mar asks once she's settled down with her laughter.

"Yeah, it's Lynn's turn," Uri states, wiping his eye for a tear that came from all the laughing.

We all look toward her and she looks around, searching for her victim.

Her eyes land on Marlene. "Candor or Dauntless?"

"Um...Candor," Marlene replies, ecstatic and bubbly.

"If you had to," Lynn's face changes and she starts thinking of something but it then returns to normal, "pick another guy other than Uri, who would it be?"

Mar sneaks a glance at me and starts contemplating something. She begins to take her shirt off but then thinks better of it and just blurts out, "Four." Gasps are heard from everyone. She stares at the floor, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Why is everybody making such a big deal out of it?" I ask.

Everyone stares at me incredulously.

"When you really think about it, most people here would choose Four. It's not like she's giving Uri up to be with him," I say.

Christina seems as if her eyes are about to burst from their sockets. "Yeah, but..." She starts thinking and realizes she can't come up with anything. "She's actually right, it's not that big a deal."

Everybody else thinks about it and arrives with the same conclusion.

"Anyway, Candor or Dauntless to..." Marlene's eyes travel around the circle, her bubbly personality back. They find Christina. "...Christina."

"Dauntless," Christina exclaims bravely.

Mar thinks for a bit. She ushers Christina to come close and Christina hops over everyone in her way to be told her dare. Mar whispers something the rest of us can't hear and Christina smirks. She grabs Will's hand and leads him to a room, snatching a scarf on the way.

Once they're out of earshot, Zeke speaks, "Seriously, Marlene. I already prevented one of you from doing it, do I have to prevent another? And I don't want to walk in on somebody blindfolded."

"Of course you all would _think_ that they're spending 7 minutes in heaven with one of them blindfolded," Mar states vaguely.

"So then, what are they doing?" Four asks.

"Well, you see, Will probably thought the same thing. In fact, I bet he believes he's missing a show."

"Spit it out, Mar," Uri exclaims.

"Fine." She waves her hands. "I'll tell you." With a sigh, she begins, "I dared Christina to bring Will into a room and blindfold him, and then to pretend that she was pleasuring herself, but she's not really, she's only making Will believe she is, and then, out of nowhere, she pushes him out of the room into our peripheral vision."

"That's genius!" Four exclaims.

"Yeah, why didn't we think of that?" Zeke asks Four.

"I don't know, but at least we thought of other great ideas," Four replies.

Zeke nods his head, as if saying, "True."

A little later, Christina barges in dragging Will.

"Controlling, I see. Nothing I can't handle. In fact, I like it," Will says, placing his hands on Christina's waist and pulling her toward him.

She looks down at the floor, embarrassed and surprised.

We are all stifling our laughs, not wanting to interrupt Will if he has anything else to say...or _do_.

Christina regains her composure and instructs Will to take it off, who happily obliges just to be met with disappointment and embarrassment.

"Whoops," Will says.

Our laughs are no longer stifled and don't cease for at least 5 minutes straight, with a few of us mustering the strength to reiterate what Will said. Meanwhile, Christina and Will take their seats.

Eventually, Christina and Will can't take the laughing anymore and decide to continue the game.

"Twissy, Candor or Dauntless?" Chris asks, the first part in a baby voice.

I look at her. "If you guys were getting so uncomfortable you could've just gone back into the room..." I sing-song the last part, making sure what I'm suggesting is clear.

"NO!" Zeke yells suddenly. "NO SEX! NO, NO, NO! Did you hear me? NO SEX! I will not tolerate it."

Will blushes tomato-red and Christina smacks my arm for bringing it up.

"Yeah, munchkins. The only person who gets to be blindfolded here is Shauna," Four mocks. Especially with the word "munchkins"...you'd think that it has a good connotation but the way Four said it it had a negative connotation. And he was obviously teasing Shauna and Zeke.

"Yeah! What Four said," Zeke exclaims, having Four's tease backfire. Red creeps into Shauna's cheeks as she stares down the floor.

Four gives Zeke an annoyed look, probably irritated he didn't get it nor did it work.

Uri shakes his head to rid him of the thoughts that are most likely entering his mind right now. He starts, "Are we going to continue or what? We need to stop getting distracted."

Christina raises her hand. "Yes, and it's Trissy's turn."

"Um," I stare at the ceiling, leaning back on my hands, pondering my response.

If I pick either, Christina _will_ make sure it has to do with Four. If I pick Dauntless, she might force me into admitting things I haven't told anyone...about Four—what he did, how I feel, etc. And to be honest, I don't even know the answer to some questions that have a possibility of being asked by her. Or she might produce a repeat of last time I played Candor or Dauntless...except with a few things missing of course...hopefully. Not that I want to play 7 minutes in heaven but it would just be worse having to deal with that again afterwards. I'm not even sure how I'm going to deal with him later. But for now, I just want to try to relax and forget. And I say "try" because I know I'll never be able to actually relax or forget. But if I pick Candor, she'll definitely just ask the questions. So, it's obvious what she'll do if I were to pick Candor but it's not obvious if I were to pick Dauntless, which just makes it even more dangerous.

Christina clears her throat, snapping me out of my reverie. "I'm picking...since you're taking so long."

"No—" I try to stop her.

"Dauntless. I dare you to," I notice a glint in her eyes, "make Four aroused."

"No fair. That was going to be my dare," Four says, smirking.

"For who?" I reply, snarky.

"Stop gibbering and take my hand," he snidely tells me, standing up and coming to my side offering his hand.

I glare at his hand. "And what makes you think I won't refuse?"

He smirks again. "Because you're wearing a dress and weren't prepared for stripping. So, unless you want to be semi-naked in front of everybody and let them see your underwear, you're going to take my hand," he explains, the smirk never leaving his face.

I stand up. "Oh, you mean letting them see me the way you were seeing Nita," I whisper, absolutely pissed off.

He glares at me. "For the last time, you—"

"—don't know the whole story," I cut him off, copying him. "That's crap," I say, pushing past him to the door.

"Where are you going?" Zeke asks.

"I'm leaving," I absentmindedly say, busy with picking the locks and opening the door.

"I'll come with you," Al says, getting up once I've opened the door.

I ignore him and just walk out. I hear frantic footsteps behind me but I couldn't care less if Al can't keep up with me. I never gave him permission to come, never said I wanted him to come.

He grabs my arm. "What's your problem?" he seethes. Except it isn't Al.

I yank my arm from his grasp and keep walking only to have him repeat. "It's not that difficult. Just answer it."

I just stare at him not saying anything. So what if he gets mad? I'm mad.

"Hey," Al shouts, finally appearing. He trudges his way over to us. "What's going on?" he asks, noticing the emotionless face I own and the irritated glare I'm receiving.

"Nothing," Four tells him, not breaking the eye contact nor removing my arm from his grasp. Finally, he turns to Al, still with a grip on my arm. "I'll take her," he tells him.

I'm about to protest but Al beats me to it.

"No, you're not," he replies, smirking. He points behind Four and I finally see what they did.

I'd gasp but I can't make a sound. His motorcycle has been separated into pieces and covered with cotton balls that were stuck to it by...I don't even know what. To say they did a good job would be an understatement. But I can't help but feel as if it was totally uncalled for. It would've been one thing to stick cotton balls to it while it was assembled but now that it's been disassembled it seems to be a totally different thing. We practically ruined one of his prized belongings and I'm not sure if it can be fixed without losing anything. Maybe he'll have to pay a bunch of money to repair it, not that it matters that much seeing as how he's pretty wealthy. What if his father gets pissed at him for that? I'd never be able to forgive myself if I caused anyone that big of harm.

Al tugging on my arm brings me back to reality. I glance at Four and see him gaping at the destruction. Al uses this to get us away...though I feel as if it's more he's trying to get _me_ away than getting _both_ of us away.

We start walking away and I will myself to not look back. I didn't mean to do _that_ to the motorcycle. Sure, Four's an asshole, but that was so mean of me. Absentmindedly, my finger starts tracing the scars I left.

Eventually, Al breaks the silence. I don't know how long we've been walking.

"Why didn't you want to do the dare?" he asks.

"I just didn't want to." Why are you asking?

"Really?" he asks, incredulous. I look at him, wondering where he's going with this. He steps closer. "Because it seems to me that there was another reason. Perhaps you wanted to be a good girl and instead of being naughty to have me, were good," he whispers.

I look at him, confused. "I don't understand what you mean."

"I mean, playing hard to get. That's what you've been doing. But tonight you realized that you can't take it anymore, you want to be with me," he concludes.

"That's ridiculous and not true. Al, I'm not in the mood for this so if we can just go back to normal, please, let's do that," I tell him, exasperated.

"Okay," he says coolly. "Redhawks, now!" he calls out suddenly.

I don't have much time to think about it before I'm surrounded by darkness. I'm not slipping into unconsciousness—not yet, probably—but my hands are held behind my back, preventing me from figuring out what's going on. My feet are lifted off the floor and I finally regain my mind.

Shit.

I start thrashing around, about to scream when somebody clamps their hand on my mouth, preventing sound from escaping. Their other hand goes around my stomach to help balance it out. And the scent of lemongrass and sage become stronger, the scent of Al.

Shit.

I continue to thrash around, though that only earns a few kicks in my side and punches around my face. There are three pairs of hands so obviously there are three people. Three against one.

Shit.

I don't know what to do right now. I'm experiencing a mix of emotions. Some parts of me wanting to cry, some parts of me wanting to kick their ass—though I'm restrained so that's not an option. God, please just let this be fake. I don't want this. I'm scared. Please have it be fake. I don't care if this is a nightmare and I wake up sweating like a pig, just have this be unreal.

I need to fight back.

But how do you do that when you can't fight on a professional basis and you're up against three people? My guess being they're male.

It's night, how common will it be for there to be people roaming around? And thrashing and fighting back as best as I can will probably delay the process or what's going to happen, but there's also the possibility of me being knocked unconscious because they didn't want to deal with me anymore and I'll have a myriad of bruises.

I hear grunts and groans all while continuously thrashing like a wild animal. My thoughts are going at a million miles an hour.

"Almost there," a familiar voice grunts. But that isn't Al...

I need to think, quick. Please have this all be fake. I sink my teeth into the hand around my mouth, eventually tasting blood. The owner of the hand pulls it back muttering, "Ow." I can sense him then address me, "Stop that, would you?" he fumes. And again I smell the familiar lemongrass and sage.

"Stop blabbering and get her over there," another familiar voice hisses.

But I can't seem to decipher them.

A scream of agony escapes me while nothing is blocking my mouth. Quickly, after a punch to my cheek, it resumes its place, averting me from rescue. After a few more minutes—though it feels like forever—I'm thrown to the ground, causing a severe headache. I feel somebody crouch next to me and then they seem to place something of a seal to cover my mouth. It's sticky and very strong. Wait...it's duct tape. Cliche but as I'm now realizing, works. I would've been better not realizing it works, though.

Shit.

_Please have this be fake. _That's all I'm asking, please let this be fake. Get me out of this. Somebody...anybody. I don't want this. I don't want this. My mind is on fire right now from being thrown on the ground and I'm scared. I'll admit it...I'm scared. I don't want this. I enjoy being a virgin. I enjoy being alive. Wasn't abuse bad enough? I don't want more. I don't want anymore. I'm begging you God, please don't let this happen. Let there be an intervention. Please don't let this happen. Please. Please?

A million times, please. I'll do anything.

One of them clambers on top of me, laughing devilishly. And the scent of lemongrass and sage intensified. He traces his fingers around the left side of my collarbone, edging closer to the strap of my dress it seems. He lowers it till it's resting right next to my armpit.

"Don't hog all the fun," a malicious voice says. _It sounds so familiar..._

A body next to Al's mimics his stance. He starts to do the same exact thing Al did.

My heart is pounding like a hammer in my chest and if they weren't restraining my hands, I'd be trying my best to get them off. I don't want this. I don't like this. I'm not enjoying this. Stop it. Stop it. Please, just stop. I'm begging it to stop.

"C'mon Drew, aren't you going to join in?"

And now I realize who the voice belongs to. Peter and Drew are like two peas in a pod so if Drew were one of these people, then Peter _has_ to be one of them, too. And I don't want this even more.

"There's not much fun with her. She's built like a child. Don't know what Four sees in her. But, I guess I'll take the bottom half of it," he replies.

"...bottom half of it"? Now, not only am I thrashing and squirming on the outside, but it's also occurring internally. Please make it stop.

Drew begins to lift up my dress and I give up.

I give up hope that this won't happen. Sometimes bad things need to happen in order for their to be good, right? But, I don't want this. I want it to stop. Please make it—

I feel Drew get off me and Al and Peter follow suit. I move my fingers, trying to get used to the pain so I can then take the blindfold off to find out what's going on. As I'm dealing with a painful, constant throb in my arms attempting to get the blindfold off, somebody grabs hold of my throat and lifts me up and too far for me to kick.

"This isn't over, Stiff," Peter hisses at me.

I then feel something cool against my skin...something metal and...a blade. He drags it down my skin, most likely producing a small gash, and I feel blood (well, I'm assuming it's blood) trickle down my thigh. He then releases my throat and his grip on me and I hear his footsteps running away. I also hear footsteps coming closer to me. I try to take the blindfold off, again, but am interrupted...again. Though this one is a lot more gentle. They remove the blindfold and I give myself a few seconds to recover. As they're removing the duct tape as gently as possible, I'm met with the most mesmerizing eyes I've ever seen. It's Prussian, just like my dress...I look down at it...except the eyes don't contain specks of grime and blood and I don't want to think about this anymore.

Instead, I think about the eyes that are looking at me now that the duct tape is gone. I look into them and can't help but feel like an even bigger bitch. I did that to his motorcycle. And yeah, I'm still pissed...but I'm so ecstatic that I didn't have to deal with that. I can't help but feel so grateful that he saved me...that I was rescued.

Spots start clouding my vision. After everything, I'm exhausted. I feel myself lifted from the ground and before the spots fully take over my eyesight, I notice lines creeping up the back of his neck and then curling around it and realize they're a tattoo. I don't remember seeing that before.

Finally, the colorful, bright spots take over and I welcome the sleep.

_Thank you..._


	20. not a chapter

**NOT A NEW CHAPTER! SORRY!**

**First off, I'd like to say I really needed some time off from this because all my free time would go here. And that's not okay. I couldn't manage my time because I have a shitload of stuff to do. I still probably won't be able to manage it. However, I am fully prepared to continue this now, especially with all the breaks coming.**

**Secondly, my laptop has been broken for 8 months. (Yes, procrastination.) And to tie this in with my first part, I figured I'd take off as long as it took to fix my laptop, because I ****_really_**** savored my free time.**

**I hate it when authors do this. In my defense, though, it's completely different to be a reader and a writer. I didn't understand their responsibilities until I took on the challenge. But I want anyone who is still paying attention's help on improving.**

**There are major dry spots, I feel, in this story and I'd like some constructive criticism. So if you could—any of you—take time out of your life and read the story or send me some stuff on how I can improve, I'd really appreciate it. I would like to better myself, really. In addition, I will also be rereading my story and seeing what spots I don't like or think should be fixed. And you're opinion would be incredibly valued, too, because I wouldn't like to take out anything that many of you guys agree on or find special about it.**


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